Unintended

Unintended

A reminder, that dug deep into my heart.

Seemingly unintended, yet sharply unkind.
So, I let it slide back, to that place inside.
To be stored again, on the edge of my mind.


Subtle and unintentional. Cruelly unnecessary.

A mention of things that I am well aware
Slid out to me, with an unknown intent
Such a sad reminder, so doubly unfair

I could only assume that you were unaware
So, I closed the door, and locked out the bad
Spent a moment alone, in your bathroom mirror
Emerged with a smile. And without the mad.

Yet, I can’t even fathom why you said what you said
And I am positive that you don’t even know
On any other, more certain night
My first instinct would have told me to go

But, I wouldn’t have.

This has little bearing on the respect that I have.
Typically, thoughtful, in most you say and most you do.
It’s more a self-analysis, of my coping skills.
Ninety-eight percent about me, and only a bit about you.


A reminder, that I didn’t need to hear.

About something that I can’t control.
A reality, always on the edge of my mind.
An unintended reminder of my limited role.


This is not the first time that I have felt this way

And, certainly, it will not to be the last
Such painful reminders feel doubly unfair
Unintended entendre, of both present and past

Of circumstances, that I can barely grasp
Choices, life’s evolution, and some of my fears
Set situations, that are beyond my reach
Reluctant adjustments made over the years

Yet, just as I find a semblance of acceptance
There it is, pushed out at me all over again
To be pulled back inside, in one irreverent moment
Me, not certain why. You, not knowing when.

But, how could you?

A harsh reminder, not converted into harsh words.
Despite thinking that someone else would.
Remembering, ironically, something you’d said.
About our ninety-eight percent, that is very good.


I wanted, intently, to discuss it with you then.

But it seemed somehow misplaced in the dark of your view.
So, I  kept it inside. Until I could write it, instead.
From the edge of my mind, like I always do.

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SAME

SAME

Eyes wide openIMG_20150330_112911[1]
Looking over at me
Awake in the wake.
        More beautiful
        More expressive
        More than I can take.

That same dream
The same image
         just as clear.

The same realities
The same memories
         find me here.


Still you are gone
Never coming back

Sadly taken away.
        Hard to accept
        Hard to understand
        Hard to even say

The same nightmare
That same visionbed - Copy
        of the very end.
The same horror
The same memories
         to comprehend.


Shock and disbelief
Second-hand news
First-hand pain.
        Taking my time
        Taking my sleep
        Taking me back again.

The same heartache
The same dream
         of once was.
The same nightmare
The same memories
        The same just because.

(more…)

Alive

pic for Alive blog
Freedom rides alone, alive
Down the roads we seldom take
Tight corners past river banks
Leaving limitations in our wake.
Majestic forests line the way
Sweeping landscape to who we are
Time immersed villages we travel through
Long and winding path for our lives so far.
Things we see, things we now know
How we experience and how we grow
The subtle splendors in every direction
Nowhere too high, nowhere too low.
pic 4 Alive
Energized by inspiration, alive
Books that subsist inside our head
Ideas captured in vivid perception
Engrained vision of what’s been read.
Imagination fed by savory words
Hungry minds consume and then digest
Eager pages and palatable phrases
A comfort food course in a life long quest.
Things we taste, things we retain
How we evolve and how we remain
Until something new that consumes us
Nourishes our heart, nourishes our brain.
Alive 5
People who awaken us, alive
Those we meet who touch our being
That encourage our need to take a look
Alter the perception of what we’re seeing.
Opening our minds to welcome sights
Fulfilled by fantasies within our scope
An insightful view of why we exist
That giving person who thrives on hope.
Things we notice, things we cherish
Special qualities that we embrace
A crash course on how to be positive
A cloudless view, a peaceful place.
Pic3 for Alive
Affirmation brings me around, alive
Back to the adventure that I deserve
This awesome world of anticipations
Thoughts that stimulate my every nerve.
Fed by knowledge and understanding
Influenced by those we encounter each day
Absorbing the world we choose to live in
Yearning and learning along the way.
Things we thrive on, things we feel
How we accept and how we relate
Changing the course on this life’s road
Can’t even guess, can hardly wait.
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