Confined

“People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it.”
– Jim Morrison20150930_213223[1]

 Confined

He goes to bed each night
alone with the ache
 His internal conflict
keeping them both awake
Wakes up weary every morning
lying beside his vanity
With a smile for his children
and a check mark for his sanity

Physical versus mental
in a battle of his pain
Sensory and substantial
is the signal from his brain
From necessity and habit
you conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
with wounds that won’t heal

Scar tissue and time
The confines of the mind
Self-motivation
Self-preservation
Selfishly suppressing the pain
Scar tissue and time
A safe place to hide
He
fights the pain

His wounds remain
Sustaining himself from inside

An actor playing himself
in the true story of he
Absorbed in the role of everyman
and that’s who he has to be

Scripted by circumstance
he has lines on every page
Penned for his own purposes
he is resplendent on his stage

 
A song written in his head
but needed by his heart

Lyrics intended for healing
they’re upbeat from the start
Motivation for mind and body
 Affected, but indeed sincere
He gives a selfless performance
for everyone to hear

Scar tissue and time
The complexities of the mind
Self-medication
Self-preservation
Selfishly deflecting the pain
Scar tissue and time
Enduring another day
Different roots of pain

No Ledger or Cobain
Determined to go another way

Scar tissue and time
You conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
When wounds never heal

Scar tissue and time
In the confines of your mind
You ascend another day
Starting from behind

 

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Charleston2

Charleston2
IMG_20140924_183330[1]

Scanning across your silent waters
Your beauty caresses my eyes
Every colour calmly reflected
Tall trees touching the skies
Crystal view of your possibilities
What an awakened mind sees
Contemplation and inspiration
Your enormity and your ease
Charleston Lake, reflective
I find myself in your mirror
Charleston Lake, you get me
I was meant to be here

Scanning the scope of your horizon
Contemplating your every layer
Exploring the complexity of your landscape
And picturing myself there
Creviced shapes and weathered faces
Sculptured images along your rocky shore
Tempting ledges and curious places
A short paddle to discover more
Charleston Lake, affected
Your essence draws me near
Charleston Lake, you’ve got me
I’ll see you every year
IMG_20140925_115842[1]

Stars

4260619468_cec0b7e744_z
Stars

Hand in hand,
  slow walk to town
  Table
for two
The perfect way
to end the day
Me
and you

Late August sky,
 without a moon
Cloudless
and clear
 A black canvas
The milky way
Far
and near 

Strolling home,
guided by the stars
Light
and space
 Calm anticipation
 The night is ours
Time
and place

Side by side,
looking to that sky
Contentment
and love
A natural repose
all around us

Inside
and above

The hour late,
we lie awake
Quiet
and reflective

This peaceful night
speaks for itself
Interstellar
and introspective

Under the stars,
slowly winding down
Tranquility
for two
The perfect way
to end this day
Me
and you


Glass


      GlassIMG_20150514_155248[1]

Sun through glass
filtered by tree
Silent and still
awakening me
Lift up my eyes
morning anew
Curtains left open
enhancing the view

IMG_20150514_152956[1]Half-empty glass
poured for me
Pills and capsules
numbering three
Medicinal relief
no other way
Medicinal haze
engulfing my day

Water like glassIMG_20150514_153257[1]
shadowed by trees
Calm and complacent
awaiting the breeze
Breath of fresh air
comes out to play
Rippled tranquility
enlivening the bay


Half-full glassIMG_20150514_163720[1]

poured for me
Brother and friend
patient makes three
Medicinal release
freedom and fun
Prescription fulfilled
envisioning the sun

Awakening

Awakening
IMG_20150506_210512[1]
Perpetually incapable
of sleeping in
Yet entirely content
for the day to begin
My muse and I
Both wide awake
With tea, with coffee
With the sound of the lake

Off to her work
Me, to my pen
Equal parts solitude
and together again
Alone with my thoughts
Joined by my ease
A limitless view
The sound of the breeze

Between work and living
The grind or the gain
Managing my potential
Lessening my pain
Relief from the scalpel
A new home on the bay
Endless possibilities
A brand new day

 IMG_20150506_203937[1]

Impending deadlines
Urgency that can wait
Time, of the essence
Tomorrow, too late
Adrenalin fed future
My opportunity knocks
Like a rush of creativity
Like the waves on the rocks

Changes are in order
Where and how I live
Untapped opportunity
All that I can give
Expecting my best
 Wanting even more
Reaching for happiness
 The waves to the shore

Between work and living
Less pressure, less pain
More of these moments
 Everything to gain
Endless possibilities
I am wide awake
A much better man
A new life on the lake
IMG_20150506_204223[1]
 

SAME

SAME

Eyes wide openIMG_20150330_112911[1]
Looking over at me
Awake in the wake.
        More beautiful
        More expressive
        More than I can take.

That same dream
The same image
         just as clear.

The same realities
The same memories
         find me here.


Still you are gone
Never coming back

Sadly taken away.
        Hard to accept
        Hard to understand
        Hard to even say

The same nightmare
That same visionbed - Copy
        of the very end.
The same horror
The same memories
         to comprehend.


Shock and disbelief
Second-hand news
First-hand pain.
        Taking my time
        Taking my sleep
        Taking me back again.

The same heartache
The same dream
         of once was.
The same nightmare
The same memories
        The same just because.

(more…)

Mirror

               MIRRORIMG_20141206_100633[1]

Facing away from the window
on my unnatural side
The reflection of trees
in the mirror…
Nowhere to hide

Confronted by my thoughts
Accosted by the ache
Worries and frustrations
Keeping me awake

I see her bare back
when I lie that way
Glimmer of moonlight
in the mirror…
So much I want to say

My tired mind frenetic
Exhausted from the race
Worries and frustrations
Trying to keep pace

Selfish if I move closer
to where I’d like to be
Seeing us together
in the mirror…
Seems natural to me

Closing my heavy eyes
To fight for precious sleep
Worries and frustrations
Reflections that run deep

Seems like minutes later
on to my comfortable sideIMG_20141206_102920[1]
I see the sunlight
in the window…
Nowhere to hide

Facing another long day
Like the one left behind
Worries and frustrations
No curtain, no blind

Charleston


IMG_20140925_115842[1]

               Charleston

IMG_20140925_114849[1]
Looking out at the lake
Stretching my tired arms high
Shaking out the morning rust
Roused early and appreciating why

A view of your possibilities
What an awakened mind sees
Contemplation and inspiration
Your enormity and your ease

Compelling me to paint with words
Charming me with all you’ve got
A mind with renewed purpose
An expansive canvas to open thought

I am filled with the day

Charleston Lake, you got meIMG_20140925_115819[1]
Your essence holds me near
Charleston Lake affected
I was meant to be here

Glancing out on the lake
Your beauty caresses my eyes
Every colour calmly reflected
Tall trees touching the skies

Scanning the scope of your horizon
Contemplating your every layer
Exploring the complexity of your landscape
And picturing myself there

Creviced shapes and weathered faces
Sculptured images along a rocky shore
Tempting ledges and curious places
A short paddle to discover more

I am struck by your way

Charleston Lake, you got me
Your essence holds me near
Charleston Lake reflective
I find myself in your mirror

Charleston Lake, you get me
I’ll see you next year

IMG_20140924_183330[1]


Five

IMG_20141020_183556[1]

Five


Turns her light on

as my feet touch the floor
I set my alarm for five
been awake since four

“Already,” I hear her say
echoing my first thought
Her six hours of sleep
one more than I got

“Stay in bed,” I suggest
three seconds too late
Gets up with me at five
doesn’t leave until eight

Meeting again in the kitchen
a few minutes after that
Two cups for tea and coffee
a scoop of food for the cat

A quiet morning moment
her eyes finding mine
Five seconds of a hug
same warmth every time

I hear her kettle whistle
as I shut the bathroom door
Three quarter turn of the tap
and then left a little more

A double pump of shampoo
a rinse, a towel and a mat
Five minutes for a shave
a couple to dress after that

It all seems so similar
same reason and same rhyme
Putting on a pair of pants
one tired leg at a time

A kiss at a quarter to six
and I am out the door
Already looking forward
to sometime after four

Doesn’t make a single difference
if it is routine or not
 Whether it’s this home, now
or in the new one we’ve bought

We are in this together
and it goes both ways
A team working as one
for those five busiest days

What makes it worthwhile
is that it is the two of us
Making seven lunches
and getting five to the bus

Can only strengthen our bond
make us feel more alive
Supporting each other
even when the clock says five

It’s what will make our new home
far more than just bricks
And it will feel five times better
when we can set the alarm for six

Morning

Partial Sun for Every

Morning

The morning has a way of seducing me with her obvious charm. Quiet and unassuming, but full of character and warmth. She knows precisely how to push my buttons or when to put me at ease with that subtle smile. The openness and availability of the morning often leaves me sitting and listening, and thinking about how to extend that moment and capture her essence.  I try to absorb the feeling she creates and take it with me into my busy day. When I let the morning touch my mood, the rest of the day becomes our companion and we have the morning to thank for getting us together. Our ebb and flow are interconnected in a reciprocal relationship and the pace of the day is whatever we agree upon. More often than not she gives me the energy to propel myself headlong into all of the possibilities…the crispness of that first rush of air filling my senses…body and mind invigorated with the newness of the day.

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