Now

◄ Nov 2017                                         December 2017 Jan 2018 ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1

NOW

2

     NOW

3

    NOW

4

    NOW

5

    NOW

6

    NOW

7

    NOW

8

    NOW

9

     NOW

10

     NOW

11

     NOW

12

    

13

     

14

 

15

 

16

 

17

 

18

 

19

 

20

 

21

 

22

 

23

 

24

 

25

 

26

 

27

 

28

 

29

 

30

 

31

 

 

Now
In some ways, now

I am more nervous 
than when we first met
Wondering, if this something,
that seems so sure,
is not certain yet

Worried, that the same ghosts
that haunt my past
will scare me once again
That the many reasons
that this should last
will vanish, into back then

I should not be thinking
about what could go wrong,
  or what I would miss
As long as we have now,

and we have the moment,
and we have all of this


Live in the moment…
Don’t waste your time
dwelling on failures
That’s no way to live

Live for the moment…
Don’t think about
what you can’t take
Only, what you can give


In so many ways, now,

I am much more aware
of what’s most important to me
  And I am far less concerned
with who I am not,
or who I ought to be
 
 Excited, about the sensations
  The exhilaration that I feel
in the anticipation of today
That I can get so caught up,
in something that’s real,
determined, to keep it that way

I have nothing to hide,
and so much more to find
  Motivated, by who and how
It’s only about the moment,
the fact that we are here,
  and that our time is now.


Speak from the heart,
without hesitation,
within the moment you choose

The present is now
Live for the moment,
without a moment to lose


In many ways, now,

I am far more assured
  with what we have found
Caring and carefree,
confident and content,
whenever you’re around

So fulfilled, by what we have,
that it makes perfect sense
to feel strong and secure
Knowing that, at this moment,
in the present tense,
we are substantial and sure

I am clearly focused
on this love for you,
and the love that we share
  With all we have now,
everything, in this moment,
and what got us there


Living in the moment…
Taking what life gives me
Embracing all that I have,
and holding on to it tight

Living for the moment…
Finding the joy in each day
Finding the now in each moment,
and keeping it in sight


Advertisements

Weight

20171209_104156
Weight

This is about our something

Our something significant
Discoveries we have discovered
Discussions still to discuss
It’s the double entendre
It’s the double meaning
The weight of our wait
The us, of just us

This feeling that we feel
This sharing that we share
The now, of being here
The then, of being there

The low of the lows
The alone of the lonely
The two of our together
The one, of our only

The right in the writing
The subtext in the texts
The impatience of our patience
The next of our nexts

The length of our lengths
The height of our highs
The careful to our caring
The why nots to our whys

The power in feeling powerless
The surge in our surges
The urge for our urgency
The urgency of our urges

The so far of how far
The good, of so far so good
The hope, and our hopeful
The could and our should

The me, in me and you
The you, in you and me
Our substantial substance
Our subtle subtlety

We take each of our days
one day at a time
Put our hearts out there
for our hearts to see
Far more than a cliché
Far more than a dream
The weight of our wait
Our will, and will be 

Selfless

       Selfless

These thoughts
were written
with both
respect and regret
about The Most
Selfless Person
that I
have ever met

I can’t imagine
a kinder man
Quiet of words
and soft of heart
A loving Father
Wonderful Grandfather
Doing far more
than just his part

His time
became your time
Always going
out of his way
Whenever anyone
needed anything
At any hour
On any day

Tireless Volunteerhockey ice
Generous and warm
Patient and calm
Unselfish and true
What seemed like
nothing to him
meant everything
to you

Always thinking
of others first
That’s just how
he chose to live
Giving everything
of himself, and more
Until he had
no more to give

Robert Joseph Leo
Friend to many
Known to most
as Bobby Breen
He was Bob, to me
And he was also 
The Most Selfless Man
that I
have ever seen

Weary

      Weary

 My left arm straight out
I wake up locked in place
right arm pinned under me
exasperation on my face.
Eyes-only glance to my left
3:17 on the clock
despite the untimely hour
I need to get up and walk.
A struggle to just get started
so familiar and frustrating
slowly turn onto my back
where another knot is waiting.
The motion too abrupt
I hear her wearily say
“is it still bothering you?
  I hope you are okay?”

The pain is now both of ours
awake in the dead of night
nothing seems to change
 will I ever feel alright?


Do I sit up or do I roll?

either way is a chore
which move tonight?
the best way to the floor?
Eventually I am standing
legs weary under the weight
I finally feel my body
it doesn’t feel great.
Sluggish, sore and irritated
I consume a gasp of air
regain some composure
as much as I can bear.
Knowing she’d like some water
I’m too spent to think
“I am getting some pills
can I get you a drink?”

The cat greets me with a look
as I flick on the kitchen light
as if to say “not again…
 will you ever be alright?”


Taking stock of my aches

I try to shake them out
wrist a pulsing whimper
shoulders a throbbing shout.
Stillness seems wiser
let my thoughts unwind
“concentrate elsewhere
relax and avert your mind.”
Leaning against the counter
I stare blankly at the floor
choke down two tablets
then swallow one more.
I need to get back to bed
the morning will be rough
the microwave says 3:39
  my body says “enough.”

Same tired routine
night after night after night
nothing seems to change
 will I ever feel alright?


Back to my drowsing beauty
dozing none too deep
her eyes loosely closed

hovering near sleep.
  “Are you feeling okay?”
raises her head, as I lie
“just the usual” I say
and we both know why.
Her hand touches my arm
“try to get some rest”
her calm voice soothing
puts her head on my chest.
For a moment I forget
the pain politely subsides
peace eventually arrives
and she’s the reason why.

Despite the same worries
and another rocky night
despite the constant pain
she makes me feel alright.

Grasp

Grasp

 

The shadow of sadness seems ominous
Over a life that is ebbing away
Helpless, no matter what I do
Insufficient, no matter what I say

When it’s quiet and the door closes
And my words have been left behind
All that I take with me is my loneliness
It’s as if life has robbed me blind

With only self-reflection and memories
I fill this void, so that I may see
With tears for now and never forgetting
I feel this grief washing over me.

Time takes its exacting toll
As I struggle to understand
I reach out to touch the inevitable
While you hold my other hand.


Allow vulnerability to concede control

It’s this inner turmoil that is very real
Recognize and accept it for what it is
I must suffer, so that I can heal

This harsh reality is a necessary agony
Let it do its work and don’t resist
Must not repress, deny or bury my despair
I must yield to it, while we co-exist

My hopes are confronted by my despair
And sorrow that could go to any length
The future is my next opponent
Your support is my source of strength.

Time devises its own agenda

Life seldom goes as planned
I reach out to grasp for yesterday
While you hold my other hand.

 

There’s a process to repair these lacerations
It takes time for wounds to mend
You held my hand at the bitter beginning
 I felt your presence to the better end

A soothing touch on my aching flesh
You hold the pulse of all I am feeling
With the sensation of your hand on mine
One hurting… and the other healing

Scars will show when I have healed
Jagged confirmation of how and when
Reminders of the cruel cuts of life
Yet signs that I am whole again.

 I feel the grip of your reassurance
Rising from my grief, I am able to stand
I can let go, and motivate my mourning
While you hold my other hand.

If

                                        If                                                  

If you fall…

I will pick you up and carry you to comfort.
Wipe away your hurt and put you at ease.

Make the difference from before to after…
Turn all of your pain into careful laughter.Try3

If you struggle…
I will help you to forget about your worries. 
Gather up your anxiety and take it far away.

Simply listen and make it clear that I’ve heard…
Replace your sad thoughts with just the right word.
 
If you need…
I will provide you with everything that I have to share.
The whole of my heart and a shoulder to lean on.

Be there with you entirely in spirit and mind…
Give you all that I am, and all I can find.

If you doubt…
I will make sure that you know that all is well.
Be the epitome and embodiment of positive thought.

Show you the future and all that is great…
Reassure you that hopes are never too late.

If you forget…
I will remember to tell you how respected you are.
Always be there to ensure that you know .

Make it ever clear with these words that I say …tree.jpg
I will remind you that I love you, each and every day.
 
 
 
 

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

When we actually met is when I first noticed

Those intangible qualities that set you apart

Expressive and honest and full of life

I was struck by your beauty from the very start.


The importance of your friends and your family

I saw it then and it still holds true

The way you light up when you speak of them

And I know how much they see in you.


Taking your children to new heights

To see the world that you can see

A panoramic view of hopes and dreams

Of all that there is and more that could be.


You realize how to get the most out of life

You understand what it is all about

Sharing your generous heart and soul

So beautiful… inside and out.


It feels good to have you be my side

Your love and support are never far

You are real and passionate and so much fun

Who I had hoped for, is who you are.


You handle situations in your unique way

With nervous laughter instead of tears

But with never an ounce of insincerity

I can feel your pains and sense your fears.


That certain way that you express yourself

An informed opinion in a sure but calming shout

And just as quickly you exude compassion

So beautiful… inside and out.


Whenever I think of you my heart races

I smile with a sigh when we meet at the door

I know I will always want to take care of you

Give you all that I have, and so much more.


Because you always take the positive approach

Put others’ happiness in front of your own

You are kind and giving and you fill my life

The most beautiful person I have ever known.


There is so much that I love about you

I am confident in us and I have no doubt

You are my lover, my friend and you are my muse

You are so beautiful… inside and out.

Communicate

Gary's screen shot

Communicate

Communication is in the delivery
Interpretation, is how you are heard
Talk is free but can have a steep cost
Be careful how you spend a word

Try to contain your emotional intensity
Let your feelings align with what is real
Speak to be heard, but never to hurt
Speak to impart, to understand, to heal


Nothing good to say, say nothing at all

Negative energy can exact a toll
Fear and regret are daggers to the heart
While positivity rolls through the soul


To disagree is healthy and a means to an end

It’s all in the way we debate or we discuss
Talk without the urge to accuse or deny
Discover the perspective in each of us

Consider all of the possible consequences
Consideration in what you say, what you do
Never take away a person’s dignity
It is everything to them, and nothing to you


Stronger, when we decide to listen

Happier, when we choose to share
Positivity rolls through the soul
Communication takes us there


Communication is about a connection

Being positive and looking straight ahead
Happiness comes from caring and sharing
Unhappiness, often, from words left unsaid

When you love enough to express your displeasure
When you trust enough to share your pain
You reduce the risk of everything to lose
You enhance the chance of everything to gain


Closeness and understanding will grow

As positivity rolls through your soul
Negativity digs deep into your being
Communication, can fill that hole


Communicating brings lives together

Give all that you have, and discuss the have-nots
Comfort is knowing how to measure your words
Closeness is being able to weigh your thoughts

A relationship is very much a living entity
With a mind of its own, an eye, and an ear
A pulse, a blood stream, and a beating heart
We breathe life into love when we talk, when we hear


As positivity rolls through your soul

Keep communicating, and growing each day
Nothing says more than yes, and absolutely
It is everything to hear, so easy to say

 

Michael

                  Michael
                                               

Oh red-skied morning
calm before the storm.
A sailor man so gentle
with smiling eyes so warm.Ocean2
The tides of life drift away,
as that lonesome breeze blows,
the loving soul of Michael
to the sea where it flows.

 

Young enough to wonder why
In dreams alone, never deep
Old enough for the grips of what

That echo inside a silent sleep

Submerged inside a growing mind
Unable to fathom loss, or to let him go
Unwilling to accept a new reality
Unable to embrace an empty shadow

 

The sailor man and his river
flow from shore to unfamiliar shore.
While understanding lays dormant
alone, on a bottomless ocean floor.
And the tides of life drift away
as that lonesome breeze blows
the loving soul of Michael
to the sea where it goes.NY Ship

 

Sunshine on mindful waters
reflect an ever-longing light
in the ever fateful flickering
of painful wrong and right

Though easier now to understand,
you were gone far too soon for me
The love of life, however, is forever there
in the image that I will always see

 

Oh red-skied morning,
calm before the storm.
Always there if we need you,
memories of safe and warm.
The tides of life drift away
to a port that no one knows.
The soul of our good man Michael
rides out to the sea where it flows.

 

Carrying me high above it all,Ocean
strong arms to hold me there…
 
until the water reaches land
and I can touch his gentle hand.
 
His kindness and spirit are not gone
because waves move on and on.

G.G. November/87

SURE

With times alone to wonder and write…     Paper and pen for SURE
Inspired by a new and pure feeling
Inspired by a mind that’s happily reeling
Sure within our limitless ceiling.
Looking toward my reasons to write.

Laughing to myself just now…
Thinking about your nervous ways
Thinking about our upcoming days
Sure inside this contented place.
Comfortable within the here and now.

Imagining a time when we share a smile…
After a whole day of just you and me
An entire night of how it should be
Sure in the warmth of a fresh memory.
That will always make us smile.

When I pause to think about you
it is that warmth that I miss.
And the potential for so much more…
It’s supposed to feel like this.

Finding your way within my walls…
You are off to a resounding start
Securing a place within my heart
Sure inside the enduring part.
A cozy room inside those walls.Road for sure

Looking ahead to boundless possibilities…
Little escapes from our daily grind
A path that’s been set by what’s behind
Sure with time to search what’s undefined.
The road is lined with the possibilities.

Remembering the way that you look at me…
As I push back a strand of your hair
As I tell you just how much that I care
Sure in knowing that I wish I was there.
To see the way that you look at me.

Knowing I can’t get out of the door
without stealing one more kiss.
Content to live in that moment…
It’s supposed to feel like this.

Pleased with the pace of our discovery…
Striving to move ahead without remorse
Sliding into place with natural force
Sure in charting our playful course.
With the excitement that is discovery.

Distracted by the urge to be alone…Sky for SURE
To stay or go are both a win
To anticipate with a knowing grin
Sure in the expectation of skin on skin.
The sudden urgency when we’re alone.

 

Measured emotions, but sure and fun…
With opportunities to let us grow
Positive situations that we both know
Sure to enjoy and let our feelings flow.
Passion and pleasures are certain fun.

Awakened smile as I think towards
that next hug and touch and kiss.
And the way our bodies seem to fit…
It’s supposed to feel like this.

%d bloggers like this: