Fortitude

Fortitude
From father to father,
and friend to friend,
I send you thoughts
I can barely comprehend.

I have been reticent
and respectfully hesitant
to send my thoughts,
any thoughts, your way.
Because, for the first time,
perhaps first time ever,
I simply could not find
any words to say.

After laboured rumination,
days spent distracted,
with all of your family
weighing on my mind,
feeling extremely selfish
and somewhat irresponsible,
I will attempt to express
thoughts I’ve managed to find.

As a distant friend
it would be remiss,
and inadequate,
to send you my love.
If I was a believer
I could send a prayer,
deferring my sentiments
to someone up above.

I have no wisdom
to pass on to you,
no innate answers
that I can honestly give.
It’s an experience
that I have never had,
and one, that no one
should ever have to live.

You already know 
we send our condolences,
and we know you have family
for a comforting hug or a soothing kiss.
So, as my tear touched sentences
gain their momentum,
the least that I can do
is to let you know this.

We have read the resilient words
that you have shared,
have great respect for your fortitude
in the face of such pain.
We’ve seen the positive approach
that you have displayed,
the cascade of beautiful memories
and there affirming refrain.

Pictures of a young life
well-lived, always to the fullest,
by a vibrant young man
who seems exceedingly wise.
Smiles and great experiences,
friends and family, and life,
images of dedication, and pride,
seen through his father’s eyes.

We admire, from our distance,
your immense courage, and resolve,
as you lead by example,
for those also exceedingly sad.

The best representation of a parent
and a dedicated husband,
the brave face of a grieving family,
the embodiment of a caring Dad.

Seeing this fortitude in you
provides us all with inspiration,
with the stark realization
that we must cherish every day.
And, what I realize now is,
that the most important thing,
is not what we have to offer you,
but rather, what we can take away.

Thinking of your love, and loss
makes me want to give my all,
recognizing a perspective
that I should have embraced before.
When I see your stance,
representing such strength,
I am inspired to be stronger
and to love life just that much more.

Whenever I get down
I will climb right back up,
look at my little problems
with the appropriate perspective.
Will take the time to notice
the warmth that surrounds me,
to understand how lucky I am,
whenever I feel reflective.

Every time I feel the impulse
I will give my daughters a hug,
holding on to it, and them,
just a little longer.
I will tell them, far more often,
just how much I love them,
with a renewed certainty,
which is just that much stronger.

And, I will never use distance
as a lazy, convenient excuse,
because when time is so tenuous,
it should never be a bother.
This is a promise I intend to keep,
in honour, of both you and your son,
as I draw upon your fortitude
to be a better friend, and father.

Father to father,
and friend to friend,
my words barely touch
the respect that I send.


Fortitude
– 
courage in pain or adversity:

synonyms: courage · bravery · endurance · resilience · mettle
In memory of Ricky Davies
(1993-2016)

 

 

Wavelength

           Wavelength
20160206_130843[1]
Apart in our own worlds

Regrettable but inevitable
Too much time in between.
Some texts and a phone call
Reflective two hour drive
Back to where we’ve been.

Always able to continue
Exactly where we left off
The bond will always hold.
Seamlessly joined together
Cohesive and carefree
Like yesterdays of old.

Vicarious rock and roll
Symbiotic music appreciation
Smiles and affirmative glances.
Twenty minute trade-offs

Guitars and emphatic drums
Meandering random dances.

Age irrelevant atmosphere
Perpetually young of heart
Suspended in our prime.
Reluctantly grown men
Trading personal tracks
While losing track of time.

Irreplaceable friends
Life long brothers
Taking time to play.
The comfort in knowing
That our yesterdays
Can always be today.

 20160206_135800[1].png

Embraces and honesty
No subject we can’t broach
Confronting life with laughter.
Best men, best buddies
Beside for ups and downs
Before, during and after.

Team and battery mates

Sharing one wavelength
Signals and tell tale signs.
Uncommon commonalities
References unique to us
Through life and like minds.

Truly rewarding hours
Our innate predictability
That sense of what’s known.
The unspoken understanding
Essential and soothing
Inevitable, and our own.

Miles and hours apart
Responsibilities and reality
We make time for the game.FB_IMG_1454780080387[1]
With the sigh of our certainty
We carry on with who we are
Family, in everything but name.

Irreplaceable friends
Life long brothers
Taking time to play.
The comfort in knowing
That our yesterdays
Can always be today.

 

Inevitable


Inevitability

is a crutch.
Bracing us
for a life event 
that will hurt
so much.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitably,
at that moment,
we will feel alone.


An unavoidable test.

Right nor wrong.
Facing
a harsh reality
that will
come along.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitably,
and eventually
we lose our own.

tears bench


Inevitability
is a balm.
Easing

our sorrow.
Palliative
and calm.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitability,
comfort in knowing
that we are not alone.


Certainty arrives.

 It always does.
Focus
on
the memories.
The reassurance
of what was.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitability,
a life, a legacy…
inevitably
etched in stone.

Matters

Restless pursuit this need to run
down streets of fire and rain
back alleys of joy and pain
away from the eyes of yesterday
to where it’s only this day that
matters


Happy and safe and satisfied          Tells me exactly why she feels

  Rests her head above my heart       Grips my arm to keep me near
    Pretty and kind and genuine             Simple sense should be enough
      Pure measure to her responses        Obviously sure in her sensuality

To nurture is my nature                 Have settled into this calm before
  Same quiet comfort condition       An air of duality peaceful and familiar
    How to detach is my dilemma       Never wishing to affect or afflict
      Needing to leave circumstance at full speed and join the chase to where I belong


No right escape from this situation
spiral stairway to solid ground
twisting path from lost to found
away from the arms of yesterday
to where it’s only this way that
matters


Time and space and in between         Barely standing on shaky legs
  Misunderstood meandering man       Looking for the straight answer
   Accepting and expecting and free      Open to possibilities and change
     Uncertain of which way to turn            Divided with my head in the clouds

To settle has been my pattern           An ego fed love I can never return
  Boundless bravado housed inside    A shadow beside my former self
   To pursue is what I’ve got to do          Releasing the will to grasp at chance
     Needing to motivate my willing legs and take purposeful strides toward fulfillment


I want to take her hand and run
down streets of fire and rain
back alleys of joy and pain
away from the eyes of yesterday
to where I can have my say in what
matters


Exciting and vital and full of life            Challenging my every need to know

  Chasing her essence lost in a trance     I see so much living behind her eyes
    Radiant and bright and so aware           Yet suspended in a well of reserve
     She shines a light in my search               Love lost places that I hope to find

To burst out through an open door          Releasing the passion that controls me
  Carrying all the devotion I have to give    Leaving behind this tormented soul
   To swiftly scoop her up on my way            Imagining a path to where we belong
     Confident in knowing this is right and completely prepared to sprint into the sun


I have to take her hand and run

down streets of fire and rain
back alleys of joy and pain
away from the eyes of yesterday
to where it’s only today that
matters

Steady

Clear ahead with the awakening dawn
One last kiss leaves me with you
Freshly made coffee warms my way
Freshly made memory in my rear view

An internal calm so long in coming
A tranquility inside with room to grow
Beams of light are in lucid sight
Waves of wonders I want to know

The snow dances in my headlights
My destination beyond the misty haze
More accustomed with every turn
More familiar with both our ways


Heading home on this winding road
The same path that led me to you
Content in knowing I will be back soon
Holding steady, at ten and two.


Even more vivid on this perfect morning
The sunrise illuminates nature’s ease
Every nuance greets my welcome eyes
I feel the silence and embrace my peace

Another beautiful day lies straight ahead
Trees sway as a gentle breeze drifts by
I can see patches of blue in the distance
As the horizon rises to meet the sky

Something is certain in either direction
This unclouded vision whether from or to
A picture framed in my front windshield
An increasingly clear vista of me with you


Finding  perspective on this winding road
Following the path that led me to you
Secure with my solid grip on today
Holding steady, at ten and two.

 

Certain of this route I have chosen again
And with the love for you I always bring
Knowing anticipation hastens my return
Though I am in no hurry to miss a thing

Sparse towns have become rich in meaning
They seem so different since that day we met
Houses and stores and hillside fences
Each one more significant the nearer I get

Music accompanies me as I make my way
Energizing and inspiring as it fills my car
I find you in the words that accompany me
Heartfelt reminders that we are never too far

 

Finding harmony on this winding road
Confident path leading back to you
Feeling safe with a firm grasp on today
Holding steady, at ten and two.

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