Unintended

Unintended

A reminder, that dug deep into my heart.

Seemingly unintended, yet sharply unkind.
So, I let it slide back, to that place inside.
To be stored again, on the edge of my mind.


Subtle and unintentional. Cruelly unnecessary.

A mention of things that I am well aware
Slid out to me, with an unknown intent
Such a sad reminder, so doubly unfair

I could only assume that you were unaware
So, I closed the door, and locked out the bad
Spent a moment alone, in your bathroom mirror
Emerged with a smile. And without the mad.

Yet, I can’t even fathom why you said what you said
And I am positive that you don’t even know
On any other, more certain night
My first instinct would have told me to go

But, I wouldn’t have.

This has little bearing on the respect that I have.
Typically, thoughtful, in most you say and most you do.
It’s more a self-analysis, of my coping skills.
Ninety-eight percent about me, and only a bit about you.


A reminder, that I didn’t need to hear.

About something that I can’t control.
A reality, always on the edge of my mind.
An unintended reminder of my limited role.


This is not the first time that I have felt this way

And, certainly, it will not to be the last
Such painful reminders feel doubly unfair
Unintended entendre, of both present and past

Of circumstances, that I can barely grasp
Choices, life’s evolution, and some of my fears
Set situations, that are beyond my reach
Reluctant adjustments made over the years

Yet, just as I find a semblance of acceptance
There it is, pushed out at me all over again
To be pulled back inside, in one irreverent moment
Me, not certain why. You, not knowing when.

But, how could you?

A harsh reminder, not converted into harsh words.
Despite thinking that someone else would.
Remembering, ironically, something you’d said.
About our ninety-eight percent, that is very good.


I wanted, intently, to discuss it with you then.

But it seemed somehow misplaced in the dark of your view.
So, I  kept it inside. Until I could write it, instead.
From the edge of my mind, like I always do.

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Ours

Ours
I sit at the end of the dock

Alone, on the edge of a new day
I scan our horizon, and smile
Content,
about thinking this way
It just feels like it belongs to us
That it’s all ours, and therefor mine
That we have our own entire lake
 And our own sprawling shore line
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There is a definite sense of self
A fulfillment, based on our decision
Circumstances, that brought us to now
How I got to this position
As I breathe in our fresh air
and feel our cool morning breeze
My heart embraces the moment
My mind notes all that it sees

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I see our fence and our fire wood
I see the garden we need to weed
I see our house that we are renovating
into the home that we need
I look up to see our deck
I see just how it’s positioned
I can picture our awesome view
Even more than we envisioned
I see our tall, imposing hemlock
Our kayaks that lie in its shade
See the route we’ve taken to our place
I see all the choices we’ve made

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I see the end result to our patience
I see the fruits of this past year
I see the promise in our future
I see exactly how we got here
I see all of our perseverance
I see the challenges that we’ve met
I see how we’ve faced them all together
and I am as content as I can get

Content with this life for our family
Content with how this all came to be
Content with this time that is ours
Content, and smiling, at all that I see

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