Looking only forward
To today
To every day
Without the ache
Without the affliction
With nothing in my way

I wake up now,
No more agony
accompanying me
No more hesitation,
as I stand
I feel the fortitude
take my hand

With my chin up
and eyes straight ahead
I look past the pain,
that I used to dread 

Looking only forward

at work
at play
With no distress
With no distraction 
With nothing in my way

I face my tasks
head on
Finish the game,
soreness gone
More prepared,
increasingly strong
I feel a resilience
that pulls me along

With my hands steady
and my feet firm
I am fully prepared
for the long-term 

Looking only forward

in all I do
in all I say
With no adversity
With no apprehension
With nothing in my way

I can make plans 
worry free
None of the severity
hindering me
Completely focused
on come what may
I feel my optimism
leading the way

With my mind clear
and ambition alive
I am ahead of myself
when I arrive



You instantly stop everything
Eating, drinking, breathing

Hesitate before continuing
Pausing, considering, reading

You float for a moment
Hovering, above the news
Suspended, out-of-body
With the worst of views

It just doesn’t seem possible
Conceivable, thinkable, plausible
Yet, there it is, clearly legible
Believable, credible, probable

Seeing it, in black and white
Jagged, brutal, true
Unconscionable meets real
As it penetrates you
Dead. Killed. Murdered.
Gone.  Lost.  Taken
Certain. Senseless. Final.
Deflated. Shattered. Shaken

Blood and air draining
Legs, faltering below
You sink into the chair
You have read, and you know

Bold, pointed letters
Piercing hearts, puncturing lives
Cutting, stabbing, slicing
Words, as sharp as knives





When am I the happiest?                     Family25-5x7
When I am with you.
What is the most fun?
The things that we do.
Sports and travel.
Laughter. Games.
Family and friends.
Daughters. Names.
Anna Kate
Erin Elaine.
The answer is always the same.

The source of my contentment?
As clear as can be.
Love and time and us.
Happy Every Day to me.





April 8th.

At long last,
I can breathe.
Fill my lungs
with hope
with exuberance
with fresh optimism
Enough of
the incessant reminders
No more
of her suffocating grief
I exhale
only contentment
Breathe only
a sigh of relief

At long last,
I can think.
Open my mind
for creativity
for revelation
for honest expression
Free from
the condescending paralysis
Away from
her sickening superiority
I speak volumes
only for myself
Think clearly
as sole authority

At long last,
I can look.
Cast my glance
to tomorrow
to possibilities

to cloudless horizons
See beyond
the judgemental glare
See past
her irrational ways
I focus
only to the future
Look forward
to my everydays

At long last,

I can breathe.

At long last,
I can think.

At long last,
I see.

At long last…
just be







UP (computer-friendly view)

There have been some ups and downs over the past year. Never, however, have I been as low as one lost week in May of last year, just after wrist surgery #2.
But then as you see…I was UP again.

I am even more uppity a year later.
May 21, 2016
Have a great long weekend everyone!



Glut                                                                                    Clear                                                                                                                                                                                        
Mostly cloudy
IMG_20150513_083033[1]                                                              Mostly sunny

with a chance of rain.                                               with no chance of rain.
Same as yesterday.                                                   A brand new day.
Here I am again.                                                        Far less pain.

Walking around                                                         Able to focus
in a foggy haze                                                           with a clear mind
Little or no memory                                                  No fog and no haze
of the last three days                                                and no urge to rewind 
A dirty blur                                                                   Dirty blur, gone
A nauseating glut                                                      Nausea, no more
The dizzying effects                                                  Opening all my windows
of you know what                                                      and closing all those doors

Morphine.                                                                      So long morphine.
Morphine and pain.                                                  Hello healing pain.
Mostly cloudy                                                              Mostly sunny
with a chance of rain.                                               with zero chance of rain.

May 13, 2015                                                                              May 21, 2015












Searching for composure…

A calm and even keel,
Controlling what I feel,
Knowing when to conceal.
Thinking, before I speak,
Biding, before I seek.

Waiting out the weak,
 Learning how to deal

Gaining a better grip…

A handle on such things,
How my opinion rings,
That sarcasm stings.
A jab, from out of sight,
Catalyst, to a fight,
Bruising with its might.
The hurt that it brings

Restraining words that wound…

Ceased, before they’re said,
Bandaged, before they’re bled,
Repressing all the red.
More composed, with what I say,

More steady, with every day,
 Anger slowly drifting away.
Smooth sailing ahead

Finding my composure…

Speaking more to please,
Calming the stormy seas,
A consistent gentle breeze.
Words, clearly thought,
Words, carefully sought,
Words calmly wrought.
Shaped by their ease

Searching for, and gaining,
Finding, while restraining,
Retaining and maintaining,
my composure.




Hand in hand,
  slow walk to town
for two
The perfect way
to end the day
and you

Late August sky,
 without a moon
and clear
 A black canvas
The milky way
and near 

Strolling home,
guided by the stars
and space
 Calm anticipation
 The night is ours
and place

Side by side,
looking to that sky
and love
A natural repose
all around us

and above

The hour late,
we lie awake
and reflective

This peaceful night
speaks for itself
and introspective

Under the stars,
slowly winding down
for two
The perfect way
to end this day
and you




Mostly sunnyIMG_20150520_091650[1]
with no chance of rain.
A brand new day.
Far less pain.

Able to focus
with a clear mind
No fog and no haze
and no urge to rewind
Dirty blur, gone
Nausea, no more
Opening all my windows
and closing those doors

So long morphine.
Hello healing pain.
Mostly sunny
with no chance of rain.




Ice recedes from the shoreline
Exposing sand and rockIMG_20150421_113714[1]
Shallow depths revealed
In the absence of the dock
It is nature’s progression

As natural as can be
Without the obstruction
Clear, for all to see

Unveiling the spring
The sun’s annual task
Shedding its icy skin
Removing winter’s mask


So much can be missed
By concealing what is real
Be emotionally available
Revealing how you feel
Like a curtain slightly open
A door, partially closed
A layer of obstruction
Your self, unexposed

Veiled from the truth
Seldom taken to task
 Pull away the pretense
Take off your mask

The sun patiently waits
Dependant on the breezeIMG_20140921_105649[1]
Clouds riding the wind
Inhibiting what it sees
Wanting to see the world
Staring down from the blue
An unobstructed look
The warmth of the view

An unveiled perspective
All the sun can ask
Truly down-to-earth
Life beyond the mask

IMG_20150421_114113[1]It reaches for your limits
Looking to take hold
Never shy or unassuming
Persistent, and bold
Shoulders to fingertips
Stabbing, jabbing its way
Obstructed by this agony
A pall on another day

Veiled in this existence
Relief inside the flask
The potion of the pills
The substance of your mask

An unobstructed glimpse
Not too much to ask
Removing your veil
An unenviable task

                                                                                                                       Find it in yourself
                                                                                                                        Life without the



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