Resolute

“But now each day I’m given
Is one more day I know
A love that’s so unselfish
It’s a pleasure just to show”…
        Carole King – You’re Something New
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Resolute

Most people would get stuck inside themselves,
or struggle to find just the right words to say.
Yet, you recognize that there must be a better way.
And then you ask yourself, “what can I do today?”

Sharing a personal message of positive determination.
Delivering a warm meal, along with a warm embrace.
I see the selfless love, behind the smile on your face,
as you put your own perspective in exactly the right place.

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You are the embodiment of strength in numbers.
Running, together as one, directly into the fray.
All of you recognized that there was yet another way.
And then you said to each other, “we will all do this today”.

It warms my heart just to know all of you.
It stimulates my thoughts to witness so much caring.
I see the selfless love, that all of you are sharing,
emblazoned, very clearly, on the shirts that you are wearing.

I could not be more impressed
with just how strong and just how thoughtful that you are.
I could not be more humbled
to know you, all of you, even just this much, so far.

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You opened my eyes
when you opened your door.
I saw so much in an instant…
And then, I saw so much more.

I had this innate, satisfying sense
that you were excited that I was there.
That you had anxiously anticipated my arrival
with thoughtful touches, and extra care.

Shiny, soft, silky, sexy straight hair.
Bare shoulders, tempting my gaze.
Subtle accents to your natural beauty.
Eyes that danced, and constantly amaze.

I could see your love, in their clear honesty.
In the moment that they looked into mine.
I could taste it, on your moistened lips,
as we drank to us and sipped our wine.

Our playful innuendo, hand fitting hand.
Walking and talking, doing what we do.
Sharing an appetizer and the same wavelength.
The simple pleasures, when it’s me with you.

Yet, there was more, inside your beautiful smile.
In each expressive nuance of your lovely face.
More of something, that was strongly tangible.
I could feel it, with certainty, in every embrace.

We seemed to hold on just a little longer, and stronger.
And there was this extra warmth in your soft touch.
It seemed as though you were exuding happiness.
A pleasure in knowing that we have found so much.

The realization, that you are allowed to be happy.
That you can be yourself, and be entitled to more.
I recognized the difference, like the flip of a switch.
Aglow, in a radiant light, when you opened your door.

I already realized how much that I loved you,
and I knew of so many reasons why.
It was obvious that we were terrific together.
And I knew for sure that I was a lucky guy.

But what struck me most, on this night,
was seeing just how content that you were.
I sincerely had hoped you were as happy as I.
It felt wonderful to know it for sure.

You have opened my eyes
to how much that you appreciate me.
I see so much, through you…
And I love all that I can see.

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Ahead


Ahead

Looking only forward
To today
To every day
Without the ache
Without the affliction
With nothing in my way

I wake up now,
pain-free
No more agony
accompanying me
No more hesitation,
as I stand
I feel the fortitude
take my hand

With my chin up
and eyes straight ahead
I look past the pain,
that I used to dread 


Looking only forward

at work
at play
With no distress
With no distraction 
With nothing in my way

I face my tasks
head on
Finish the game,
soreness gone
More prepared,
increasingly strong
I feel a resilience
that pulls me along

With my hands steady
and my feet firm
I am fully prepared
for the long-term 


Looking only forward

in all I do
in all I say
With no adversity
With no apprehension
With nothing in my way

I can make plans 
worry free
None of the severity
hindering me
Completely focused
on come what may
I feel my optimism
leading the way

With my mind clear
and ambition alive
I am ahead of myself
when I arrive

Headline

Headline
You instantly stop everything
Eating, drinking, breathing

Hesitate before continuing
Pausing, considering, reading

You float for a moment
Hovering, above the news
Suspended, out-of-body
With the worst of views

It just doesn’t seem possible
Conceivable, thinkable, plausible
Yet, there it is, clearly legible
Believable, credible, probable

Seeing it, in black and white
Jagged, brutal, true
Unconscionable meets real
As it penetrates you
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Dead. Killed. Murdered.
Gone.  Lost.  Taken
Certain. Senseless. Final.
Deflated. Shattered. Shaken

Blood and air draining
Legs, faltering below
You sink into the chair
You have read, and you know

Bold, pointed letters
Piercing hearts, puncturing lives
Cutting, stabbing, slicing
Words, as sharp as knives

 

 

Answer

              Answer

When am I the happiest?                     Family25-5x7
When I am with you.
What is the most fun?
The things that we do.
Sports and travel.
Laughter. Games.
Family and friends.
Daughters. Names.
Anna Kate
      and
Erin Elaine.
The answer is always the same.

The source of my contentment?
As clear as can be.
Love and time and us.
Happy Every Day to me.

 

Free

Free

April 8th.

At long last,
I can breathe.
Fill my lungs
with hope
with exuberance
with fresh optimism
Enough of
the incessant reminders
No more
of her suffocating grief
I exhale
only contentment
Breathe only
a sigh of relief

At long last,
I can think.
Open my mind
for creativity
for revelation
for honest expression
Free from
the condescending paralysis
Away from
her sickening superiority
I speak volumes
only for myself
Think clearly
as sole authority

At long last,
I can look.
Cast my glance
to tomorrow
to possibilities

to cloudless horizons
See beyond
the judgemental glare
See past
her irrational ways
I focus
only to the future
Look forward
to my everydays


At long last,

I can breathe.

At long last,
I can think.

At long last,
I see.

At long last…
just be


 

 

special…

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UP (computer-friendly view)

There have been some ups and downs over the past year. Never, however, have I been as low as one lost week in May of last year, just after wrist surgery #2.
But then as you see…I was UP again.

I am even more uppity a year later.
May 21, 2016
Have a great long weekend everyone!

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Glut                                                                                    Clear                                                                                                                                                                                        
Mostly cloudy
IMG_20150513_083033[1]                                                              Mostly sunny

with a chance of rain.                                               with no chance of rain.
Same as yesterday.                                                   A brand new day.
Here I am again.                                                        Far less pain.

Walking around                                                         Able to focus
in a foggy haze                                                           with a clear mind
Little or no memory                                                  No fog and no haze
of the last three days                                                and no urge to rewind 
A dirty blur                                                                   Dirty blur, gone
A nauseating glut                                                      Nausea, no more
The dizzying effects                                                  Opening all my windows
of you know what                                                      and closing all those doors

Morphine.                                                                      So long morphine.
Morphine and pain.                                                  Hello healing pain.
Mostly cloudy                                                              Mostly sunny
with a chance of rain.                                               with zero chance of rain.

May 13, 2015                                                                              May 21, 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Composure

COMPOSURE

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Searching for composure…

A calm and even keel,
Controlling what I feel,
Knowing when to conceal.
Thinking, before I speak,
Biding, before I seek.

Waiting out the weak,
 Learning how to deal


Gaining a better grip…

A handle on such things,
How my opinion rings,
That sarcasm stings.
A jab, from out of sight,
Catalyst, to a fight,
Bruising with its might.
The hurt that it brings


Restraining words that wound…

Ceased, before they’re said,
Bandaged, before they’re bled,
Repressing all the red.
More composed, with what I say,

More steady, with every day,
 Anger slowly drifting away.
Smooth sailing ahead


Finding my composure…

Speaking more to please,
Calming the stormy seas,
A consistent gentle breeze.
Words, clearly thought,
Words, carefully sought,
Words calmly wrought.
Shaped by their ease

Searching for, and gaining,
Finding, while restraining,
Retaining and maintaining,
my composure.
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Stars

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Stars

Hand in hand,
  slow walk to town
  Table
for two
The perfect way
to end the day
Me
and you

Late August sky,
 without a moon
Cloudless
and clear
 A black canvas
The milky way
Far
and near 

Strolling home,
guided by the stars
Light
and space
 Calm anticipation
 The night is ours
Time
and place

Side by side,
looking to that sky
Contentment
and love
A natural repose
all around us

Inside
and above

The hour late,
we lie awake
Quiet
and reflective

This peaceful night
speaks for itself
Interstellar
and introspective

Under the stars,
slowly winding down
Tranquility
for two
The perfect way
to end this day
Me
and you


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