Free

Free

April 8th.

At long last,
I can breathe.
Fill my lungs
with hope
with exuberance
with fresh optimism
Enough of
the incessant reminders
No more
of her suffocating grief
I exhale
only contentment
Breathe only
a sigh of relief

At long last,
I can think.
Open my mind
for creativity
for revelation
for honest expression
Free from
the condescending paralysis
Away from
her sickening superiority
I speak volumes
only for myself
Think clearly
as sole authority

A long last,
I can look.
Cast my glance
to tomorrow
to possibilities

to cloudless horizons
See beyond
the judgemental glare
See past
her irrational ways
I focus
only to the future
Look forward
to my everydays


At long last,

I can breathe.

At long last,
I can think.

At long last,
I see.

At long last…
just be


 

 

Bursting

Bursting
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Only so many hours
in the day
Only so much time
for me to say
All of those words
that come to mind
To paint a portrait
of what I find
Insightful illustrations
of what I see
The bursts of life
inside of me
The ups, the downs
The ebb and the flow
The well-springs
of what I know
Churned up images
of fluid thought
Of what get’s said
and what is not
All of the perception
that I can feel
Tones of my life
vivid and real
Influence and congruence
The patterns, the places
The people I meet
and their names and faces
Observations, interpretations
Details, I mentally store
The impressions and opinions
that I refuse to ignore
Extremes of emotions
like a creative rage
Bursting out of me
to the waiting page
Adrenaline and adjectives
The immediacy of an urge
Balance of a judgement
on the very verge
Constructive, controlled
Consequence to the noun
The weight of the words
eases me down
Explicitly extracted
from
rapid thought

From what can be said
and what cannot
All of the choices
that come to light
Rhythms of my life,
the wrong, the right

A tumultuous ride  
The message sent
A burst of sensations
in time well spent
Only so many hours
left in the day
Yet so much more
that I have to say
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Dedicate

Dedicate


If only I could dedicate my days

To do the thing that gives me pride
This creative craft that makes me whole…
If only my time was on my side.

Writing always gives me strength
When life seems like a dizzying climb
I ascend alone and seek the summit
Up and over, one word at a time

I summon my resolve and determination
The impetus is change and personal growth
To inspire and aspire, impress and express
My selfish vow and impassioned oath

No editing of heart or of soul
No compromise and no limitation
Getting out of the way of my intuition
To empty my reserve of imagination

The freedom to empty my mind
To fill the page with all I am seeing
With every breath of my inspiration
With all of the blood of my being

 

A place to go inside of my head
Where ideas co-exist and are free to roam
Where opinions and emotions can come and go
A place where we can all call home

Words to illustrate what I am thinking
The vivid thoughts and lucid scenes
Creating something entirely tangible
What I am feeling and what it means

I take my need for words personally
And it’s the inspiration that I thirst
A hunger that I should feed daily
A craving to please myself first

Writing gives me second chances
To fill the page with what I have seen
I get to relive this life experience
I get to revisit where I have been

If only I could dedicate my days
To make my living where I reside
My mind could breathe and words would flow…
If only my time was on my side.

Retreat

               Retreat  IMG_0575

I escape to my own space
to be alone with my despair
Four walls and my thoughts
keep me company there…
A curtain shields the light
I sit, I think, I stare.

A place where I can hide
until sense is restored
Until understanding surfaces
all else can be ignored.

Until I regain some strength
Until my nature takes its course
All else will be ignored
while I find my creative force.

I retreat to my own space
to make sense of my despair
Four walls and my emotions
keep me company there…
My mind fills the page
I sit, I feel, I repair.

Time need not heal me
I have to feel like this 
I want my sorrow to affect me
this, is just how it is.

I have to experience this suffering
I want this productive pain
This, is just how it is
From loss, to mindful gain.

I choose to heal in my own space
to gain release from my despair
Four walls and my words
keep me company there…
Shedding light on my recovery
I sit, I write, I share.

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