Held

full house card suit


I have long been operating from a position of strength…

and acting weak.

Held
I have had a bad habit, admittedly,
of thinking it
But not relating it
A habit of mulling before deciding
Waiting, preserving, delaying,
And then not saying it
Habitually, letting it slide on by.
Spending so long considering when
that I get past the reasons why
Missing every apt opportunity
Til I decide that I ought not to try

It’s like holding on to the highest card
and never playing it
A game changer, and not laying it
It’s having a long held belief
Waffling, and slowly swaying
And then silently betraying it
Holding on, to the point of denying.
It feels regretful and weak,
like I am not even trying
I can easily afford to pay the price
But seldom am I ever buying


I am not going to tell you here

that I’m instantly going to change
That I don’t know it’s strange
I realize there is a priority of things
that I need to rearrange
And that it’s healthier to exchange
But, I am going to open myself up, for me.
Kick this habit of holding it all in
and stop letting the bygones be
I will try to store far less of what ails
The words I say will be the truths I see


I have to believe I have an unobstructed view

Of everyday
On any given day
Believe that I am in control
Of what I can and have to say
I just need to get my self out of the way
I can, I believe, see beyond my worry.
Make the decisions of a clear thinker
and wait, only, when there is no hurry
I will try to never be one to judge
But always be part of the jury

Put one foot, confidently, in front of the other
And it will feel good
Especially good
Put one thought behind another
Like I’d hoped I could
As I know I should
I will take, and put, everything in stride.
Will talk the talk, and walk the talk,
as I have no reason to hide
Express the self from within myself
Climb on up, and stand with my pride


The next time someone tries to talk down to me…

their words won’t find me.
Because I’ll be way up here.

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Ours

Ours
I sit at the end of the dock

Alone, on the edge of a new day
I scan our horizon, and smile
Content,
about thinking this way
It just feels like it belongs to us
That it’s all ours, and therefor mine
That we have our own entire lake
 And our own sprawling shore line
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There is a definite sense of self
A fulfillment, based on our decision
Circumstances, that brought us to now
How I got to this position
As I breathe in our fresh air
and feel our cool morning breeze
My heart embraces the moment
My mind notes all that it sees

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I see our fence and our fire wood
I see the garden we need to weed
I see our house that we are renovating
into the home that we need
I look up to see our deck
I see just how it’s positioned
I can picture our awesome view
Even more than we envisioned
I see our tall, imposing hemlock
Our kayaks that lie in its shade
See the route we’ve taken to our place
I see all the choices we’ve made

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I see the end result to our patience
I see the fruits of this past year
I see the promise in our future
I see exactly how we got here
I see all of our perseverance
I see the challenges that we’ve met
I see how we’ve faced them all together
and I am as content as I can get

Content with this life for our family
Content with how this all came to be
Content with this time that is ours
Content, and smiling, at all that I see

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Influence


Influence
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Spontaneity requires

time and place
Life does happen 
but you set the pace
   Opportunities progress  
from a simple notion
Even a clock 
is set in motion

Often…

We get caught up
in every day
Misplace our self
along the way
Routine and mundane 
by design
We are mindwashed 
to not cross the line

So…
Accept some risk

and question why
Take a chance
and just try
Inject substance
into time and place
Eyes wide open 
to the daily race

Remember…

Decision rights
belong to you
Influence the now
embrace the new

Increase your take
with all that you give

You are a work in progress
as long as you live

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Responsibilities
are a heavy load
Possibility
is an open road
A living thing
is compelled to feel

Even the hamster 
running the wheel

Often…

Rash decisions
carry a heavy cost
The wrong road 
will get you lost
Defining and difficult
by design
We are hesitant
to cross the line

So…
Accept the challenge
 and feel alive
Take the wheel
and just drive

The weight of choice
belongs to you
And the getting back
is a journey too

Remember…

Decision rights
belong to you
Influence the now
embrace the new

Increase your take
with all that you give

You are a work in progress
as long as you live


 

 

 




 

Disheartened

door

Disheartened


His mind was clearly made up

discussion was getting nowhere
I watched as he sunk down
slouching lower in his chair
I could see it in his eyes
that blank, empty stare
It was clear he’d had enough
and his reasoning seemed fair
Other things to occupy his time
what little time he could spare
It was a shame to see it end
a talent like his was rare
But when you lose that desire
 it becomes too much to bear
Your heart just isn’t in it…
and you just don’t care.

Your heart prevents you from going
though you know that you should
 It’s a time induced reality
 and no time ever seems good
You decide you’ve had enough
before you thought you would…

Because your heart just isn’t in it.

 

The relationship was trying
and he had no desire to try
Constantly testing his resolve
with your wandering eye
  Your self-confidence crutch
  and he was just not that guy
  He wouldn’t indulge you in your games
  Couldn’t be bothered to reply
 When you had nothing good to say
and everything else was a lie
  Thought that he would love you
until the day that he died
But you had worn him down
  and it was time to say good-bye.
  His heart just wasn’t in it…
and you were the reason why.

When other lives are affected
no time is ever good
You hesitate to leave
but know that you should
Feeling more like a failure
than you ever thought you could…

When your heart just isn’t in it.

 

You feel a sharp pain in your arm
like getting shot with a gun
  Remembering that just last week
you had pain in the other one
You’ve lost your motivation
  preparation is no longer fun
Spend less time in the gym
 reduce your training to none
Spend more time with your family
be able to play catch with your son
You know you’ve taken your last shot

that you’ve scored your last run
Realize it’s time to hang them up
your final game has been won.
Your heart just isn’t in it…

and you know that you are done.

Repetition has worn you down
to a level below where you stood
Your motor has lost its drive
nothing left under the hood
So sure that you would do it
until your body no longer could…

But your heart just isn’t in it
And that never feels good.

Life happens to us all
that’s just how it goes
Seldom does it make sense
yet, the heart just knows.

 

 

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