Was

depth of field photography of mallard duck on body of water

Was
He stood on the snow-covered rocks,

watching the three little ducks swim.
Taking turns, diving under the cold lake.
Like children, indulging a dare on a whim.
He was content. Was smiling inside.
Simple emotions were welling to the brim.
More certain that he was almost all the way back.
He was wishing that it was him.

He was standing there, contently entranced.
Soaking in every detail that he could find.
He was feeling the tension of his heartstrings
as they slowly stretched to unwind.
It was not all that long ago, really.
He was adrift, floating away from his mind.
Just then, he was suddenly overwhelmed.
Was remembering, all that he’d left behind…

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He remembered when he was entirely sunken
In the darkest depths of his own despair
Was held under by his own helplessness
Was fighting, for any small gasp of air
Was beside himself, flailing with his lonely soul
Unable to breathe, or even to care
Was looking, around himself, at nothing
Was alone, and wanting no one else there

He was lost, slowly drowning in constant doubt
Submerged, below the murky surface of his worry
Hearing only that incessant, dissenting voice
It was the sound and the resound of the fury
As he finally, desperately, managed to look only up
It was through eyes so tired and blurry
He was doubtful he could get all the way there
He was certain that he had to hurry

He began the ascent, from his abyss of self-pity
Was no more time he could waste on reflecting
He was towing his lessons, out of this depression
Through all of the shame and the blame deflecting

Was willing his load, upward, determined to make it
 He was far more buoyant than he was expecting
With his sole motivation, his self-preservation
He surfaced, with the self he was neglecting

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He had willed himself up and out, onto solid ground.
Had saved his heart and his soul from dying.
If he said that he was completely free of the pain,
they both would know he is lying.
Yet he is getting ever closer to leaving it all behind.
Is going to be himself again. There is no denying.
He is inspired, and required, to get all the way there.
 And he is sure going to live trying…

He was going to stand here for a while more.
And only then would he continue his run.
Transfixed as he was by the three ducks.
Still having their own carefree, unique fun.
He wants nothing more than to bask in this feeling.
It is his head. It is his heart. Together as one.
He finally manages to pull his eyes away.
He is met by the warmth of the sun.

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Now

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Now
In some ways, now

I am more nervous 
than when we first met
Wondering, if this something,
that seems so sure,
is not certain yet

Worried, that the same ghosts
that haunt my past
will scare me once again
That the many reasons
that this should last
will vanish, into back then

I should not be thinking
about what could go wrong,
  or what I would miss
As long as we have now,

and we have the moment,
and we have all of this


Live in the moment…
Don’t waste your time
dwelling on failures
That’s no way to live

Live for the moment…
Don’t think about
what you can’t take
Only, what you can give


In so many ways, now,

I am much more aware
of what’s most important to me
  And I am far less concerned
with who I am not,
or who I ought to be
 
 Excited, about the sensations
  The exhilaration that I feel
in the anticipation of today
That I can get so caught up,
in something that’s real,
determined, to keep it that way

I have nothing to hide,
and so much more to find
  Motivated, by who and how
It’s only about the moment,
the fact that we are here,
  and that our time is now.


Speak from the heart,
without hesitation,
within the moment you choose

The present is now
Live for the moment,
without a moment to lose


In many ways, now,

I am far more assured
  with what we have found
Caring and carefree,
confident and content,
whenever you’re around

So fulfilled, by what we have,
that it makes perfect sense
to feel strong and secure
Knowing that, at this moment,
in the present tense,
we are substantial and sure

I am clearly focused
on this love for you,
and the love that we share
  With all we have now,
everything, in this moment,
and what got us there


Living in the moment…
Taking what life gives me
Embracing all that I have,
and holding on to it tight

Living for the moment…
Finding the joy in each day
Finding the now in each moment,
and keeping it in sight


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