Flight

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Flight


It’s highly invigorating

Thoughts of this adventure
Our newest possibilities
taking flight
Taking off,
to our next unknown
To all that we will do
And all that we might

A healthy distance
from a year ago
Above the clouds,
with both on board
Heart to heart
Hand in hand
A March break,
we deserve to afford

Continuing together
toward our destination
A window to the world
from an elevated view
Another journey,
on this trip of a lifetime
A week away
with me and you

Sighs and sunshine
as we touch down
A
smooth landing
for our recurring themes
No hurries
No worries
An ocean together
As close it seems

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Worry


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Worry

You worry about us
while I worry about you
My wounds have mostly healed
Yours, are still unfairly new

Still vulnerable, still susceptible,
Still affected by so much
Bruised around the edges
Still tender to the touch
 Memories, there on the wall
Reminders, flashing on the screen
Taking you back to a hurt
that never should have been
Pictures and question marks
Still images, still fresh 
Years of mixed emotions,
rubbing against your flesh
The occasions, the situations
With family, with friends
The sudden jolt to your system
When some of your past attends
Incessant and intrusive probing
Concerned people, hassling you
The pangs from a harsh reality,
that may or may not be true
Occasional reminders,
that prick you like a pin
Sharp and pointed circumstance
Jabbing at your skin

Rumours, and stories that swirl
Of others, going through the same
Open secrets and indiscretions
The deflecting of the blame
Sad and similar symptoms,
that you reluctantly understand 
Taking you an unhealthy distance
from the life that you had planned

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You worry about us
 and I worry about you
 This is what I can see
This is all I can do

There is pain that I recognize
Sore spots, we have both got
Other aches, I can understand
Worse ones, that I cannot
Nights, together in your home
Putting myself in your place
Hours, rapt deep in our conversation
Moments, spent lost in your face
The nuances of your smile
The emotions, found in your eyes
A shimmering well of melancholy
behind a wavering disguise
The sharp, cruel jabs of pain,
that stab your heart like a knife
The tears, that occupy my mind,
as we sit, surrounded by your life
Yet, there is no place I’d rather be
There with you, trying to comprehend
Distracting you and laughing with you
As your partner, as your friend
Taking you to a fun and happy now,
And sitting beside you there
Giving only me, and who I am,
In every minute that we share
Knowing, I have zero urge to sit
where someone else has sat
That I am one hundred percent yours
That I can promise you that
I have my steadfast morals
I have my own unique charms
I have this love for you,
and I have two strong arms

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You worry about us
I worry about you
I promise you my honesty
That is the most I can do

Strides

Strides

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We looked mostly straight ahead,

the first time we met
Walking, and small talking,
already at ease, as I got to my car
Yet, within the messages,
that lead us to that point,
I knew the enormity
of getting that far

No sense of haste
as we leisurely walk
Steadily paced
in time and talk
Self discovery, together,
with no real clock

Feeling more familiar 
with every block
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We have picked up the pace,  
as we’ve moved along
Both ready and content
to be moving on
Putting miles, and smiles,
between us and the past
The more we’ve walked
The further we’ve gone

Side by side
our fingers entwined
Stride for stride,
both body and mind
Moving forward, together,
toward what we’ll find

Distancing ourselves
from what’s behind
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Continual but careful steps,
on a path to each other,
Patience, and anticipation,
for what we have in store
So far, so very good, for us,
From nerves and hesitation,
to comfortable conversations,
to moments meant for more

Nights planned
for more time alone
As we delve, we understand
our shared unknown
Time well spent, together,
we can call our own

Hand around hand,
in our comfort zone

Inevitable
Everything, and time,

plenty for us to discover
Our subtle intricacies,
strides for you with me
Walking and talking,
as we ease into us,
Heading toward whatever, 
whenever that may be
 

Swimmer

Swimmer
I had been treading water

for far too long,
when all I wanted to do
was swim
Head and shoulders
above the surface,
scanning the horizon,
 for a life beyond him
Sometimes, just floating,
motionless, on my back
Alone with my thoughts,
staring into the sky
Worrying, wondering,
can I move on? 
Still not quite sure,
but I know I must try

Standing near the edge,
I look for my place
I am in no hurry,
unsure of my needs
It’s natural to hesitate
with the unfamiliar
I search the shallows,
leery of the weeds
I want to get going
away from the past, 
somewhat certain
I am over that hump.
When the time is right
I will find the spot
I will get in for my swim,
but I will not jump

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Sticking one foot in
to test the water,
I am tempted to dive,
but mindful of my haste
Wading into the unknown,
both cautious and curious
Safer to get in slowly,
just up to my waist
The farther I venture,
the deeper I will get
The calmer the current,
the more risks I’ll take
In the waves of my worries
it seems like the ocean
When I rise above it,
I will see it’s a lake

There is so much of life
that I still want to feel
So much about living,
that I still want to know
Strong and steady,
I swim into the distance
The less I look back,
the further I’ll go
Buoyed by my family
and a lifeline of friends,
I am content where I am,
but searching for more
Rough waters behind me,
I look toward my future
If I see love on the horizon,
I will head for that shore

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Forward

” Same old, same old.
Another day, another dollar.  
  I’m retiring in a while.
Grinning and baring it.
Going through the motions.
Same shit, different pile.
East gate here we go again[1]
” Easier said than done.

Nothing better out there.
I’ve been here this long.
I can’t take that chance.
Better safe than sorry.
What if I am wrong? ”
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Forward
Life is far too short
No risk means no reward
So do it for yourself
It’s time…you can’t afford

I look to those who have done it
The tension of compromise long gone
They all have bettered themselves
Their life…their own, after moving on

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The fact that they seldom look back

A safe distance from where they stood
Happy with who and where they are
It is a better life…when life is good

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They chose a new and different path

To move forward, while they can
Each with their own ambition
Each…to become a better man

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Because life is far too short

Peace of mind is your reward
M
ake yourself happy now

It’s time…you can’t afford

 

INITIATIVE

                 

                 Initiativeone way

I sit alone in my wondering
and it clouds my mind

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Affection leads to affected,
when it only goes one way.

You put your gloved hand on
top of my knee
Reminding me of just how rare
that seems to be
Unknowing likely, perhaps
but noticeable to me

Alone behind a curtain of
sheer connotation
The way we should feel, belies
this sensation
Therein lies the rub, of our
unique situation

It distracts me from my ease,
as such
A simple gesture found within
a simple touch
And I don’t believe that it is really
asking
too much

I hold all of the initiative
and it bruises my heart

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Lonely leads to lonesome,
when it only goes one way.

A man should never talk about
such trivial things
The importance of touch, and all
that it brings
Or the way that the lack of it
sometimes stings

There are those who feel the same, I
would guess
It may seem absurd to others, who
need far less
But contact comforts me thoroughly, I
must confess

It does distract me from my ease,
as such
Our house is only so big, yet are insticts
seldom touch
And constantly reaching out to you, feels
like too muchimagesM5E0G21W

I grow weary of the initiative
and find myself hesitating

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Distant leads to distance,
when it only goes one way.

Companionship keeps me close, when
push comes to shove
I don’t doubt your sincerity or question

your love
And I do realize that it is your hand
inside that glove

I wish it didn’t matter to me,
but it just does.

I am preoccupied with the initiative.
Is it is just me?

 

Discretion

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Stopped instantly in your tracks.
Waves of shock and then disbelief.

Her picture right there for all to see
The headline, as plain as can be
Words that strike at your very core
Shaken by the thought of reading more
You dare to look, despite the knowing
Helpless to keep it all from showing
Putting your back against the wall
Needing support as your barriers fall

Because now,
you are weakened by what you’ve read,
and you can’t move ahead.


Staggered by this second-hand news.

An instantaneous jolt of clarity. 

Taken directly to a time and a place

Flashing back, to that perfect face
A playful smile you will never forget
The honest heart of your last regret
An ideal situation, some would say
Judged yourself and you walked away
A circumstance you left behind
Rarely ever crossing your mind

Until now.
You are taken aback by what you’ve heard,
but you can’t say a word.


Inhibited by the same weight of discretion.

Just as private as it was back then.

Age, and then distance, were both too far
You sullenly
remove your suit from the car
Knowing what no one else needs to know
That it’s far more respectful not to go
Keeping your distance is probably best
Questions to avoid in the eyes of the rest
Despite yourself, you know what to do
Closure is for the family, not for you

For now.
 You are constrained by the reasons why,
 so you cannot say good-bye.

 

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A peculiar sensation of personal loss.
Over someone and something that you let go.

Finding yourself alone with your despair

Few who could really understand or care
Absolutely no shame in what you feel

Convenient secrets, you chose to conceal
Fleeting memories, you fought to dismiss
Coming around, when it comes to this
A conscious grip on things back then
You have to confront those choices again

But now,
you need time and space with what you know.
 Because you have to let her go…
again.

 

Known

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I know her so well,
Though I’m not sure how.
Mists from a distant past
to a clear here and now.
Perhaps from a recurring dream,
where love is real, not fake.
Where I know I might find her
lying beside me as I wake.
A line in my favourite book
Eloquent words enliven a blank page
A scene in a romantic play…
a soliloquy that fills an empty stage.
I know her so well,
Though it’s been but a while.
A rainbow of honest expression
Caring eyes and a truthfulsmile.
Perhaps she understands me
Sees beyond my flaws, my past
Accepts my own honest ravings
because I’m in love at last.
Knowing that she is always here
in my mind and in my heart.
In my thoughts and my hopes…
Ties that bind when we’re apart.
I know her so well
The road winds along
Familiar signs mark the way
Turns are right, never wrong.
I know her so well
My mind’s eye can see
All that matters now…
is that she’s here with me.
 

Enough

 

Calendar

Enough

You take your time to tell a story
Suspending judgment in your certain way
The complete picture is in the details
I could listen to you talk all day.
I see your eyes as they dance to life
I watch your mouth as it curves a smile
My mind caresses that little scar
I listen intently all the while.

With only a few scant precious hours
A mid-week encounter to explore what’s next
Time challenges our sensory sensations
To capture moments not found in a text.
Our time is now until we meet again
With the grip of love a little stronger
I wrap this memory inside my arms
And I hold on to it a little longer.

It’s in the words that you say
and in the things that we do.
Always discovering a little more.
I can’t get enough of you.

Kindness rooted in this mutual respect
The truth can be found in our silent vow
Compassion engrained in how we live
We’ve made good decisions to arrive at now.
But so much more exists inside us
Coming to the surface whenever we kiss
Evident and real in the passion that prevails
From the meandering trail that has led to this.

Singular spirits with common goals
Always putting our children first
Consuming life while leaving space
For all of the adventure that we thirst.
Making the most of what we have
Cheers to us and to the people we are
To living with integrity and determined grit
The distance between us never too far.

Yet it is distant just the same
and puts limits on what we do
Always hoping for a little more.
I can’t get enough of you.

It’s the little things that make us tick
I soak them all in until we meet again
Until now aligns with place and time
And where and how just lead to when.
But mostly I notice you, and why I feel
The excitement and that parting ache
How much better it is to have you there
Lying right beside me when I wake.

Never enough hours for us to share
and mornings together are far too few
Always leaving me wanting more.
I can’t get enough of you.

Clock

 

Steady

Clear ahead with the awakening dawn
One last kiss leaves me with you
Freshly made coffee warms my way
Freshly made memory in my rear view

An internal calm so long in coming
A tranquility inside with room to grow
Beams of light are in lucid sight
Waves of wonders I want to know

The snow dances in my headlights
My destination beyond the misty haze
More accustomed with every turn
More familiar with both our ways


Heading home on this winding road
The same path that led me to you
Content in knowing I will be back soon
Holding steady, at ten and two.


Even more vivid on this perfect morning
The sunrise illuminates nature’s ease
Every nuance greets my welcome eyes
I feel the silence and embrace my peace

Another beautiful day lies straight ahead
Trees sway as a gentle breeze drifts by
I can see patches of blue in the distance
As the horizon rises to meet the sky

Something is certain in either direction
This unclouded vision whether from or to
A picture framed in my front windshield
An increasingly clear vista of me with you


Finding  perspective on this winding road
Following the path that led me to you
Secure with my solid grip on today
Holding steady, at ten and two.

 

Certain of this route I have chosen again
And with the love for you I always bring
Knowing anticipation hastens my return
Though I am in no hurry to miss a thing

Sparse towns have become rich in meaning
They seem so different since that day we met
Houses and stores and hillside fences
Each one more significant the nearer I get

Music accompanies me as I make my way
Energizing and inspiring as it fills my car
I find you in the words that accompany me
Heartfelt reminders that we are never too far

 

Finding harmony on this winding road
Confident path leading back to you
Feeling safe with a firm grasp on today
Holding steady, at ten and two.

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