Composure

COMPOSURE

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Searching for composure…

A calm and even keel,
Controlling what I feel,
Knowing when to conceal.
Thinking, before I speak,
Biding, before I seek.

Waiting out the weak,
 Learning how to deal


Gaining a better grip…

A handle on such things,
How my opinion rings,
That sarcasm stings.
A jab, from out of sight,
Catalyst, to a fight,
Bruising with its might.
The hurt that it brings


Restraining words that wound…

Ceased, before they’re said,
Bandaged, before they’re bled,
Repressing all the red.
More composed, with what I say,

More steady, with every day,
 Anger slowly drifting away.
Smooth sailing ahead


Finding my composure…

Speaking more to please,
Calming the stormy seas,
A consistent gentle breeze.
Words, clearly thought,
Words, carefully sought,
Words calmly wrought.
Shaped by their ease

Searching for, and gaining,
Finding, while restraining,
Retaining and maintaining,
my composure.
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Capsule

         CAPSULE

Entirely trapped within
an apprehensive maze
Rapt with guarded allure
in an enigmatic haze
Looking in the distance
a glimpse of what could be
A capsule look beyond
an instance of her with mebed - Copy

Finding in her eyes
what I was searching for      
A free-spirited soul
with so much more
An outlook so positive
a sense of good and true
Seeing an internal beauty
immersed inside my view

Everything feels so unreal…
Alone inside that moment.

Still slowly discovering
on our uncertain way
Fought against temptation
but decided to stay
Should have known better

should have said good night
Got lost in compulsion
the timing wasn’t right

Wary of that direction
so weary of that game
Thought we wanted more
thought we felt the same
A careful patient journey
had brought us to this place
Why the sudden detour?
Why this need to race?

Everything feels so unreal…
Left alone in that moment.

Saying what I thought
she wanted to hear
Candid cautious words
her silence very clear
Insights I would regret
with no need to rush
Uttered in a blind hurry
to just an eerie hush

Jolted from my trance
self-assurance suppressed
Nothing else for me to do
but quietly get dressed
Traces of good intentions
scattered carelessly around
Faint hopes lying on the floor
picked up without a sound

Everything feeling so unreal…
I left alone at that moment.

An agonizing drive home
riddled with doubt
Searching inside to findhazy woods
what that reaction was about
Harsh recurring analysis
Backtracking in my head
What made her panic?
What was it that I said?

Entirely trapped within
a confining, isolated maze
Stranded with my misgivings
in an angst-ridden haze
Lost before it was found
never knowing what could be
A fleeting capsule look
an instance of you and me

Everything feels so unreal…
All alone with that moment

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