Worry


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Worry

You worry about us
while I worry about you
My wounds have mostly healed
Yours, are still unfairly new

Still vulnerable, still susceptible,
Still affected by so much
Bruised around the edges
Still tender to the touch
 Memories, there on the wall
Reminders, flashing on the screen
Taking you back to a hurt
that never should have been
Pictures and question marks
Still images, still fresh 
Years of mixed emotions,
rubbing against your flesh
The occasions, the situations
With family, with friends
The sudden jolt to your system
When some of your past attends
Incessant and intrusive probing
Concerned people, hassling you
The pangs from a harsh reality,
that may or may not be true
Occasional reminders,
that prick you like a pin
Sharp and pointed circumstance
Jabbing at your skin

Rumours, and stories that swirl
Of others, going through the same
Open secrets and indiscretions
The deflecting of the blame
Sad and similar symptoms,
that you reluctantly understand 
Taking you an unhealthy distance
from the life that you had planned

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You worry about us
 and I worry about you
 This is what I can see
This is all I can do

There is pain that I recognize
Sore spots, we have both got
Other aches, I can understand
Worse ones, that I cannot
Nights, together in your home
Putting myself in your place
Hours, rapt deep in our conversation
Moments, spent lost in your face
The nuances of your smile
The emotions, found in your eyes
A shimmering well of melancholy
behind a wavering disguise
The sharp, cruel jabs of pain,
that stab your heart like a knife
The tears, that occupy my mind,
as we sit, surrounded by your life
Yet, there is no place I’d rather be
There with you, trying to comprehend
Distracting you and laughing with you
As your partner, as your friend
Taking you to a fun and happy now,
And sitting beside you there
Giving only me, and who I am,
In every minute that we share
Knowing, I have zero urge to sit
where someone else has sat
That I am one hundred percent yours
That I can promise you that
I have my steadfast morals
I have my own unique charms
I have this love for you,
and I have two strong arms

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You worry about us
I worry about you
I promise you my honesty
That is the most I can do

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Smile

               Smile

I only get to see you            Sun for Every                  
once in a while
But, every time I do,
I get to see your smile

My favourite thing, so far,
has been that smile
The way it pulls me in,
and how it makes me feel
From the time we met,
to right now, and now,
it is seeing you smile
that makes us feel real

Your smile resonates personality,
and a true love for life
A glow that surrounds you
and reflects in your eyes
Its spontaneous nature
belies an instinct to hide
And the more that it reveals,
the less that it tries

Your smile radiates positivity,
in the purest sense
In its genuine warmth,
in the honesty that it shows
When a tear drop appears,
behind a memory,
your smile takes over
like a friend who knows          

Most of all, I’ve noticed,
your smile is simply beautiful           
It expresses a depth
to the life inside your heart
A confidence of character,
that I find to be contagious
Something to keep with me,
on the days we are apart

I only get to see you
once in a while
But the next time I do,
I know I’ll see you smile

 

 

Fortitude

Fortitude
From father to father,
and friend to friend,
I send you thoughts
I can barely comprehend.

I have been reticent
and respectfully hesitant
to send my thoughts,
any thoughts, your way.
Because, for the first time,
perhaps first time ever,
I simply could not find
any words to say.

After laboured rumination,
days spent distracted,
with all of your family
weighing on my mind,
feeling extremely selfish
and somewhat irresponsible,
I will attempt to express
thoughts I’ve managed to find.

As a distant friend
it would be remiss,
and inadequate,
to send you my love.
If I was a believer
I could send a prayer,
deferring my sentiments
to someone up above.

I have no wisdom
to pass on to you,
no innate answers
that I can honestly give.
It’s an experience
that I have never had,
and one, that no one
should ever have to live.

You already know 
we send our condolences,
and we know you have family
for a comforting hug or a soothing kiss.
So, as my tear touched sentences
gain their momentum,
the least that I can do
is to let you know this.

We have read the resilient words
that you have shared,
have great respect for your fortitude
in the face of such pain.
We’ve seen the positive approach
that you have displayed,
the cascade of beautiful memories
and there affirming refrain.

Pictures of a young life
well-lived, always to the fullest,
by a vibrant young man
who seems exceedingly wise.
Smiles and great experiences,
friends and family, and life,
images of dedication, and pride,
seen through his father’s eyes.

We admire, from our distance,
your immense courage, and resolve,
as you lead by example,
for those also exceedingly sad.

The best representation of a parent
and a dedicated husband,
the brave face of a grieving family,
the embodiment of a caring Dad.

Seeing this fortitude in you
provides us all with inspiration,
with the stark realization
that we must cherish every day.
And, what I realize now is,
that the most important thing,
is not what we have to offer you,
but rather, what we can take away.

Thinking of your love, and loss
makes me want to give my all,
recognizing a perspective
that I should have embraced before.
When I see your stance,
representing such strength,
I am inspired to be stronger
and to love life just that much more.

Whenever I get down
I will climb right back up,
look at my little problems
with the appropriate perspective.
Will take the time to notice
the warmth that surrounds me,
to understand how lucky I am,
whenever I feel reflective.

Every time I feel the impulse
I will give my daughters a hug,
holding on to it, and them,
just a little longer.
I will tell them, far more often,
just how much I love them,
with a renewed certainty,
which is just that much stronger.

And, I will never use distance
as a lazy, convenient excuse,
because when time is so tenuous,
it should never be a bother.
This is a promise I intend to keep,
in honour, of both you and your son,
as I draw upon your fortitude
to be a better friend, and father.

Father to father,
and friend to friend,
my words barely touch
the respect that I send.


Fortitude
– 
courage in pain or adversity:

synonyms: courage · bravery · endurance · resilience · mettle
In memory of Ricky Davies
(1993-2016)

 

 

special…

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Selfless

       Selfless

These thoughts
were written
with both
respect and regret
about The Most
Selfless Person
that I
have ever met

I can’t imagine
a kinder man
Quiet of words
and soft of heart
A loving Father
Wonderful Grandfather
Doing far more
than just his part

His time
became your time
Always going
out of his way
Whenever anyone
needed anything
At any hour
On any day

Tireless Volunteerhockey ice
Generous and warm
Patient and calm
Unselfish and true
What seemed like
nothing to him
meant everything
to you

Always thinking
of others first
That’s just how
he chose to live
Giving everything
of himself, and more
Until he had
no more to give

Robert Joseph Leo
Friend to many
Known to most
as Bobby Breen
He was Bob, to me
And he was also 
The Most Selfless Man
that I
have ever seen

Glass


      GlassIMG_20150514_155248[1]

Sun through glass
filtered by tree
Silent and still
awakening me
Lift up my eyes
morning anew
Curtains left open
enhancing the view

IMG_20150514_152956[1]Half-empty glass
poured for me
Pills and capsules
numbering three
Medicinal relief
no other way
Medicinal haze
engulfing my day

Water like glassIMG_20150514_153257[1]
shadowed by trees
Calm and complacent
awaiting the breeze
Breath of fresh air
comes out to play
Rippled tranquility
enlivening the bay


Half-full glassIMG_20150514_163720[1]

poured for me
Brother and friend
patient makes three
Medicinal release
freedom and fun
Prescription fulfilled
envisioning the sun

JUST

                     JUST

She may be just thirteenIMG_20150305_211417[1]
but my daughter has this knack
Somehow she just gets me

and she always has my back
Mostly it’s just who she is
Sometimes it’s just because
Not entirely sure how she does it
yet she often just does

It was just her who noticed 
when I felt mostly just lonely
Tired of too many nights
when it was just me only
She says that she knew itIMG_20150305_211903[1]
Could just see it in my eyes
Just ten years old then
yet exceedingly wise

“You just need a girlfriend,”
is just what she said
It caught be by surprise
and just stayed in my head
She was absolutely right
Sometimes I was just sad
Despite all of the love
that I already had

I knew she was right
I was just hard to convince
I met someone just great
And have been happy since
Not sure just how she knew
just how it was
How she often seems to knowIMG_20150305_214433[1]
but she just does


She can tickle my funny bone

with just a certain word
Something I have just said
or that she just overheard
Can put me in my place
with just one line
Yet she seldom overdoes it
and that’s just fine

Knows when to surprise me
when I just need to smile
That it’s just the right time
when it’s just been a while
We can both be impatient
when life just gets in the way
That it’s just easier to laugh
and just get on with your dayIMG_20150305_212125[1]

Knows just what I need to hear
when I start to feel low
She just seems to sense it
just seems to know


So much just like her Dad

In just so many ways
Emotional when she speaks
competitive when she plays
Wants to see the entire movie
from just the very start
The importance of just a hug
and the music in her heartIMG_20150305_212334[1]

A shared impulse to nurture
Together, just a common ease
Just a reflection of myself
in much of what she sees
A strong, calm understanding
that’s more than just DNA
I find myself in her eyes
and that’s just where I’ll stay

My daughter is just here for me
She enhances my life, 
just because
Shares this life-long bond with me
and I just love that she does

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