Retreat

“Is it contact or just reaction?
…Is it living, or just existence?
It takes a little more persistence
To get up and go the distance

— Neil Peart – Something For Nothing


Retreat

I contended
while you pretended
Yet, it was I
who had to choose…

Hearts choose
Egos bruise
Stubborn minds
light the fuse
A battle of wills

that I would win,
and lose


I retreated

while you depleted
Yet, it was I
who still brought flowers…

Broken flowers
Passionate showers
The uncertainty
filled my hours
Ups and downs
losing their steam,
their odd powers


I rejected
while you reflected
Yet, it was I
who felt the pain…

Too much pain
Nothing to gain
Constant inconsistency
driving me insane
The truck pulled up
to load my life,
once again.

March 26/17


“I’ve been burdened with blame,
trapped in the past for too long,

I’m moving on”

— Rascal Flatts —

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Composure

COMPOSURE

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Searching for composure…

A calm and even keel,
Controlling what I feel,
Knowing when to conceal.
Thinking, before I speak,
Biding, before I seek.

Waiting out the weak,
 Learning how to deal


Gaining a better grip…

A handle on such things,
How my opinion rings,
That sarcasm stings.
A jab, from out of sight,
Catalyst, to a fight,
Bruising with its might.
The hurt that it brings


Restraining words that wound…

Ceased, before they’re said,
Bandaged, before they’re bled,
Repressing all the red.
More composed, with what I say,

More steady, with every day,
 Anger slowly drifting away.
Smooth sailing ahead


Finding my composure…

Speaking more to please,
Calming the stormy seas,
A consistent gentle breeze.
Words, clearly thought,
Words, carefully sought,
Words calmly wrought.
Shaped by their ease

Searching for, and gaining,
Finding, while restraining,
Retaining and maintaining,
my composure.
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Whirlwind

 

 Whirlwind

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Caught in a whirlwind.
Engulfed by life.

So many questions
I cannot address
So many people
I cannot impress
Wanting the most
but giving less
A pathetic pawn
in a game of chess


 
Consumed by realities
in this daily race
Spinning around me
while I stand in place
My mind on a swivel
at a frantic pace
Spending valuable time
to just save face

 

 

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Skewed by the hurry.
Consumed by
 change.

A shot of humility
straight to the brain
A shot of adrenalin

vain to vein
The speed of truth
the bite of pain
As much to prove
as there is to gain


Refocus to realities

just a minor dip
Broaden these shoulders
and remove the chip
On life’s vast radar
just a minor blip
I will assume the helm
and right this ship

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