You worry about us
while I worry about you
My wounds have mostly healed
Yours, are still unfairly new

Still vulnerable, still susceptible,
Still affected by so much
Bruised around the edges
Still tender to the touch
 Memories, there on the wall
Reminders, flashing on the screen
Taking you back to a hurt
that never should have been
Pictures and question marks
Still images, still fresh 
Years of mixed emotions,
rubbing against your flesh
The occasions, the situations
With family, with friends
The sudden jolt to your system
When some of your past attends
Incessant and intrusive probing
Concerned people, hassling you
The pangs from a harsh reality,
that may or may not be true
Occasional reminders,
that prick you like a pin
Sharp and pointed circumstance
Jabbing at your skin

Rumours, and stories that swirl
Of others, going through the same
Open secrets and indiscretions
The deflecting of the blame
Sad and similar symptoms,
that you reluctantly understand 
Taking you an unhealthy distance
from the life that you had planned


You worry about us
 and I worry about you
 This is what I can see
This is all I can do

There is pain that I recognize
Sore spots, we have both got
Other aches, I can understand
Worse ones, that I cannot
Nights, together in your home
Putting myself in your place
Hours, rapt deep in our conversation
Moments, spent lost in your face
The nuances of your smile
The emotions, found in your eyes
A shimmering well of melancholy
behind a wavering disguise
The sharp, cruel jabs of pain,
that stab your heart like a knife
The tears, that occupy my mind,
as we sit, surrounded by your life
Yet, there is no place I’d rather be
There with you, trying to comprehend
Distracting you and laughing with you
As your partner, as your friend
Taking you to a fun and happy now,
And sitting beside you there
Giving only me, and who I am,
In every minute that we share
Knowing, I have zero urge to sit
where someone else has sat
That I am one hundred percent yours
That I can promise you that
I have my steadfast morals
I have my own unique charms
I have this love for you,
and I have two strong arms


You worry about us
I worry about you
I promise you my honesty
That is the most I can do




April 8th.

At long last,
I can breathe.
Fill my lungs
with hope
with exuberance
with fresh optimism
Enough of
the incessant reminders
No more
of her suffocating grief
I exhale
only contentment
Breathe only
a sigh of relief

At long last,
I can think.
Open my mind
for creativity
for revelation
for honest expression
Free from
the condescending paralysis
Away from
her sickening superiority
I speak volumes
only for myself
Think clearly
as sole authority

At long last,
I can look.
Cast my glance
to tomorrow
to possibilities

to cloudless horizons
See beyond
the judgemental glare
See past
her irrational ways
I focus
only to the future
Look forward
to my everydays

At long last,

I can breathe.

At long last,
I can think.

At long last,
I see.

At long last…
just be





Self promotion
in constant motion
Pleading and begging
For everyone to see
It must be exhausting

This incessant need
Intense and insistent 
“Pay attention to me!”

Repetitive requests
Constant changes of heart
Indecisive and impulsive
“I’m in, no I’m out!”
Question after question
Never completely sure
Waffling and wavering
Riddled with need and doubt

Looking for attention

like a dog with a ball
Alone, when no one’s looking
like a painting on the wall
Like the cold to the ice-cube
Needy to the extreme
Like the sadly desperate dreamer
who has no dream

Always in your face
Constantly trying to sell
Conflicted and convincing
“Buy that, or buy this!”
Post after post after post
A social media junky
Frenzied and forward
Yet another near miss

Feeling entitled
Exerting constant pressure
Confused and confounded
“Don’t you see my name?”
Reminder after reminder
Living vicariously
Posing and positioning
 Playing a needy game

Screaming for attention

like a child with no toy
Paralyzed by inability
like a plotter with no ploy
Like the item to the auctioneer
Needy to the extreme
Like the badly conniving schemer
who has no scheme

Questioning your audience

Unable to deal with it
Again and again
 Most people refuse
Sometimes a talent

Can stand on its own
Patience and time
And paying your dues

 The time may come
When people pay attention
When people take notice
To the talents you’ve got
When your own self worth
Becomes evident to all
People may see you
  But then again, people may not

Starving for attention

like an actor with no stage
Ready, willing, unable
like a writer with no page
Like the canvass to the artist
Needy to the extreme
Like the madly competitive player
who has no team

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