Thoughts

 ☀️ 🌈 🦋 

Thoughts

In my heart, even while you are away,
the thought of you always stays…

These thoughts of you that extract me
from my enigmatic haze
Thoughts of you that illuminate my mind
and eliminate the grays
These thoughts of you that can fill this void
in the best of ways
Thoughts of you that remain steady
as life’s pendulum sways
These thoughts of you that give substance
to my each and every phrase
Thoughts of you that paint these words,
as each thought of you replays

With these thoughts of you, that sustain my heart,
there are no lonely days.

 ❤

Lost

Lost

There are cracks
And there are holes
Those who have lost their way
Those, who have lost their souls

Cracks, lined with uncertainty
Shallow and long and narrow
Split, painfully, like broken bone
With blood and doubt and marrow

Holes, filled with deprivation
Deep and dark and wide
Dug, in haste, like a mass grave
The addicted and the dead inside 

Lost, lonely, alone
Missing in the cracks 
Someone’s family
Someone’s friend

Lost, forgotten, gone

Buried in a hole 

Someone else’s story
Someone else’s end

Grave

Brusque

20170805_142905 


Brusque

Opinions, for the ears of everybody
Words, of a mind for only one
You talk and you talk a good game
When, actually, you have none
A misplaced sense of self-importance
Confident, to the point of delusion
Constantly rubbing people the wrong way
A reality, wrapped inside an illusion

What colour is the sky in your world?
Does the sun only shine when you’re in it?
Is the planet lonely with just the one person?
Does it only turn when you spin it?

An endless list of those you’ve alienated
Astounded, by your condescending tone
An ego, that pierces the thickest of skin
Daggers, from a mind all your own
Common denominator to many problems
Divisor, for those who cross your path
You are 100% certain, and 90% wrong
Little remains, when you do the math

What colour is the sky in your world?
Is it grey and spattered with dots?
Do you ever get to see the sunlight?
Is it overcast, clouded by your thoughts?

You ride in on your high horse
Give the royal wave to all you pass
Those who don’t acknowledge you
Can just kiss your royal ass
You share a seat with your superiority
Oblivious to the ooze that you spill
Sitting smugly beside your judgement
In a sticky puddle of your ill will

What colour is the sky in your world?
Is it showering blood, instead of rain?
Are you sheltered beneath your thin cover?
Or drenched, in the red of your disdain?

It is by no means an overstatement
Your demeanour is your disguise, your demise
Whenever you reveal your true self
It’s like a storm, sweeping the skies
From the nasty depths of self-absorption
Blunt statements, soaked in the odd
Revealed, one assumption at a time
From beneath your shallow façade

What colour is the sky in your world?
Does anyone ever reach you there?
Perhaps someone should tell you?
Would you really even care?

 

JUST

                     JUST

She may be just thirteenIMG_20150305_211417[1]
but my daughter has this knack
Somehow she just gets me

and she always has my back
Mostly it’s just who she is
Sometimes it’s just because
Not entirely sure how she does it
yet she often just does

It was just her who noticed 
when I felt mostly just lonely
Tired of too many nights
when it was just me only
She says that she knew itIMG_20150305_211903[1]
Could just see it in my eyes
Just ten years old then
yet exceedingly wise

“You just need a girlfriend,”
is just what she said
It caught be by surprise
and just stayed in my head
She was absolutely right
Sometimes I was just sad
Despite all of the love
that I already had

I knew she was right
I was just hard to convince
I met someone just great
And have been happy since
Not sure just how she knew
just how it was
How she often seems to knowIMG_20150305_214433[1]
but she just does


She can tickle my funny bone

with just a certain word
Something I have just said
or that she just overheard
Can put me in my place
with just one line
Yet she seldom overdoes it
and that’s just fine

Knows when to surprise me
when I just need to smile
That it’s just the right time
when it’s just been a while
We can both be impatient
when life just gets in the way
That it’s just easier to laugh
and just get on with your dayIMG_20150305_212125[1]

Knows just what I need to hear
when I start to feel low
She just seems to sense it
just seems to know


So much just like her Dad

In just so many ways
Emotional when she speaks
competitive when she plays
Wants to see the entire movie
from just the very start
The importance of just a hug
and the music in her heartIMG_20150305_212334[1]

A shared impulse to nurture
Together, just a common ease
Just a reflection of myself
in much of what she sees
A strong, calm understanding
that’s more than just DNA
I find myself in her eyes
and that’s just where I’ll stay

My daughter is just here for me
She enhances my life, 
just because
Shares this life-long bond with me
and I just love that she does

INITIATIVE

                 

                 Initiativeone way

I sit alone in my wondering
and it clouds my mind

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Affection leads to affected,
when it only goes one way.

You put your gloved hand on
top of my knee
Reminding me of just how rare
that seems to be
Unknowing likely, perhaps
but noticeable to me

Alone behind a curtain of
sheer connotation
The way we should feel, belies
this sensation
Therein lies the rub, of our
unique situation

It distracts me from my ease,
as such
A simple gesture found within
a simple touch
And I don’t believe that it is really
asking
too much

I hold all of the initiative
and it bruises my heart

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Lonely leads to lonesome,
when it only goes one way.

A man should never talk about
such trivial things
The importance of touch, and all
that it brings
Or the way that the lack of it
sometimes stings

There are those who feel the same, I
would guess
It may seem absurd to others, who
need far less
But contact comforts me thoroughly, I
must confess

It does distract me from my ease,
as such
Our house is only so big, yet are insticts
seldom touch
And constantly reaching out to you, feels
like too muchimagesM5E0G21W

I grow weary of the initiative
and find myself hesitating

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Distant leads to distance,
when it only goes one way.

Companionship keeps me close, when
push comes to shove
I don’t doubt your sincerity or question

your love
And I do realize that it is your hand
inside that glove

I wish it didn’t matter to me,
but it just does.

I am preoccupied with the initiative.
Is it is just me?

 

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