Butterfly?

Butterfly?

Epihany

The same stubborn scenario
The same view every night
A silhouette, close to the edge
A moth under the light
The echo of my thoughts
On infinite repeat
A schizophrenic mind field
Of two and a half feet

Turned one hundred and eighty
In a blanketed cocoon
A butterfly to a moth
Under the light of the moon
A stark and palpable silence
An insurmountable rut
Urges, kept at arm’s length
Until my eyes flutter shut

Take me back to my muse
Release me from this storm
From the cold of my creation
The bitter back to the warm
From this tempest in a teapot
 These chilling winds of blame
 The frigid reality each night
The moth back to the flame

An exasperating tug of war
Across a span of diminished hope
There has to be some solace
Near the end of my rope
Nothing that I can do or say
Changes, impervious to gain
The collateral damage is done
A consequence to the pain

So many months, eaten away
The thin fabric of a ruse
Resentful of my own creation
 A moth disguised as a muse
Rose-coloured tunnel vision?
Wishful thinking all along?

For the sanity of lost time
It would help if I was wrong

Take me back to my muse
Release me from this regret
From the pall of uncertainty
That hangs over me yet
From the now back to the then
The difference of day to night
To open arms and an open mind
To a butterfly, in a better light

Silence

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Silence

 I hear the furnace kick in, on this cool morning.
An awakening nudge, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

It is then that I notice,
gradually notice more
The nuances of early morning
Just outside my door
The stillness of the lake
The shadows near the shore
A family of four ducks
And behind them two more
A peaceful place to begin my day
Alone, with some time to explore

A window to an opened mind.
A unique view, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

The façade of my introspection
Protective, but paper thin
Accessible, in the early morning
Without the voices or the din
An undisturbed opportunity
To summon, from within
The chance to visit places
Where I have seldom been
Insights, subtly perceptible
Like the drop of a pin

The sound of my ideas resonates,
clearly audible to me, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

Discernable refrains of thought
Echoing inside my peaceful shell
The intricacies of perception
From the depths of my well
The complexities of emotion
The conflicts that I must quell
Lost, and found, in the early morning
Immersed in what to tell
A place to elevate my opinions
Up from where they fell

I find my positive inspiration,
emerging, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

The early morning moves me
As the words start to flow
Drifting through the shadows
Like the ducks, in a row
Lines of innate substance
Gaining momentum as they go
Buoyant, lucid, more certain
Shedding inhibitions as they grow
Brought into the morning light
From this tranquil place I know

The quiet of the morning finds me here.
Where I can hear myself think…
within my creative silence.

 

IT

                         It

Me:
“If you question its existence
does it therefore exist?
If you never really had it
can it actually be missed?
If you’re not sure you ever found it
can it still be lost?
If you spent no time on it,
is there really any cost?”
(cause that’s the way I talk)

Him:
“Well, it is what is, I guess.”

 Me:
“It’s what?!? Okay then. See ya.”


A philosophical discussion,

that grinds suddenly to a halt.
It’s just a sign of the times
and it is no one’s fault.
He’s run out of words, I guess.
Has nothing else to add.
“It is what it is.” 
What it is buddy, is sad.”

It’s a harsh reality
once it comes out.
“It is what it is.”
As if there was any doubt.
It has to be final,
wouldn’t you say?
“It is what it is”,
so we’ll leave it that way.

I choose to make light of it
and I do mean to mock.
That expression surfaces

and it finishes the talk.
Rather than try to continue
it’s basically cut and run.
You say “it is what it is”
and the conversation’s done.

I know it’s a response, sort of,
but what does ‘it’ mean?
It leaves so many lines
to read in between.
So much to interpret
that it doesn’t mean shit.
“It is what it is”.
But really, what is it?

It is hard to stomach
when it comes around.
Many people say it now,
so you choke it down.
It leaves a bad taste
but you swallow your pride
“It is what it is” apparently,
so open wide.

I am glad someone told me
or I may never have known.
And now that we all know
its cover is blown.
“It is what it is”
and that’s where we’re at.
“It is what it is”,
now the bag has no cat.

It might be what it is, but,
seriously, what does it mean?
Can it be what it is, or was
if it has never been?
It may be what it is.
It may be just because.
It may never be again,
whatever it maybe was.

If it is what it is
is it all that bad?
Could it perhaps be something 
that you never had?
Can you forget about it
if you never really knew?
Well, “it is what it is”,
so I guess you just do.

So let’s just say “it is what it is”,
though I’m not sure it ever was.
If I can believe “it is what it is”,
then I suppose everyone does.
So, it must be what it is,
and that must be where it’s at.
“It is what it is”.
 I guess that’s that.

“That’s that”?
That’s what?!?
Oh no, here we go again.
Straight into another rut.
I’ve got no time for this, or ‘that’,
and now I need to take a wiz.
So let’s just say that that is that…
If that’s what it is?

Suspended

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Suspended
A wind worn branch,

reduced to a splinter.
I am a rabbit hole,
hidden beneath winter.

The morning starts out the same…
With smiles and good intentions
With energy and lofty goals
  But, the minutes are ticking
Toward the end of both
Toward the mid-day lull
Imagination grinding to a halt
Hitting the proverbial wall.

Wheels locked in place,
 gears wanting in power.
I am time standing still,
hand stuck on the hour.


The reluctant optimist,

 hopeful that there is more.
I am a tree lined road,
winding to the shore.

There is a fine line in place…
That separates good from great
That distinguishes less from more
 Potential, on the threshold of change
Sometimes it meets a path
Sometimes it’s on a ledge
The brink of a breakthrough
 Precariously near the edge.

An expanse from a destination,
 a misstep from being lost.

I am a suspension bridge,
 longing to be crossed.


The battered pitcher,
that’s been to the well.
I am the grizzled veteran,
  with stories left to tell.

Personal insights ready to be shared…
Seeing the importance of each day
Seeing the enormity of the little things
So much potential, yet to be met
Bringing along a passion for life
Bringing an open book to the table

The mind is more than willing
The body, fighting to be able.

A semi-automatic rifle,
unsure of where it’s aimed.
I am the winning lottery ticket,
waiting to be claimed.

 

 

Rebuild

Rebuild

Invested
for the long run.
Underwhelmed
by what your love earns.
Taxed daily
by the emotional costs
 and the reality
of diminishing returns.

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There has to be

more than this?
Can what is lost
again be found?
Can you go around
more than once?
Is there only so much
to go around?

You worry,
do I need too much?
as you hover
above your ego.
You look hard
at who you are,
and you wonder
where did ‘we’ go?

Another failure
is unacceptable.
What the heart lacks,
 the heart yearns.
Your input
influences your output.
The law of
diminishing returns.


You decide to search

within yourself.
Seeking out
your inner strength.
You find that
your heart is capable.
It can be stretched
another length.

Your original design
was excellent.
The plans you made
were sound.
The raw materials
of love and respect,
implore you
to stick around.

You decide that
you should start again
The flame is relit
 and your heart churns.
Lessons learned,
you invest together,
working to sustain
the initial returns.
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Diminished

Diminished

Choices you make
are directly proportional
to the lessons
that you learn.
Experience will tell you
that change is necessary
when the investment
exceeds the return.

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The newness

of what you have.
A solid foundation.
Love and mutual respect.
Living under one roof.
Rich with time together.
Better than you hoped for.
More than you expect.

Weeks, inevitably
become years.
Variable inputs
become a distraction.
You notice the flame
is slowly fading.
You light the match,
 see little reaction.

The daily grind
becomes unacceptable.
What your heart lacks,
your heart yearns.
The input
exceeds the output.
The law of
diminishing returns.


You feel the emptiness

of the disconnect.
A well of time
not spent.
Lost hours
consumed, alone.
Wondering
where the time went.

Wanting more,
but getting far less.
Supply
versus demand.
The slippery slope
of complacency.
You mention it,
they don’t understand.

You only have
to see it once.
A beleaguered fire,
flickering as it burns.
Flamed, mostly,
by all that one gives.
Eventually burnt out,
by diminished returns.
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Resolve

wordle
Resolve

When you feel like you’re fading
it keeps you strong
When pushed to your limits
it pulls you along
When the daily grind tests you
it answers the call
When you need to have structure
it provides a wall

When life seems like a puzzle
too difficult to solve
Search within yourself
and you will find your resolve

It’s the ability to deal
when you need to cope
When your ambition wavers
it gives you hope
It’s that extra drive
when you’re tempted to coast
The competitive edge
when you need it the most

When doubts creep in
it is never too far
Your resolve enables you
It’s there where you are

Your resolve lifts you up
whenever you dip
It brings you back
when you start to slip
When you are feeling lost
you will find your way
When someone needs you
you’ll be there to stay

It gives you courage
when you dig down deep
Summon your resolve

and take that leap

When aches and pains
stand in your way
You build up your resolve
and get through the day
When life brings you stress
and you’d rather hide
Your resolve teams up
with your innate pride

You may surprise yourself
with all that you find
An inner well of resilience
  lifting matter over mind
An array of capabilities
A reserve of your strength
A measure of flexibility
you stretch to your length

Your resolve will guide you
toward your loftiest goal
It is right there inside you…
It’s your heart, it’s your soul

Support


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SUPPORT

I look to my left
and I see
Look to my right
and I see
The people I love
here beside me…

Your support is always there
More than mere words can really say
With whatever comes, whatever may
With every challenge on any day
Your support comes my way
And you are there

Your honesty opens my eyes
You tell me exactly how it is
Through distraction, I am remiss
Through times as complex as this
Support slides in with a reminder or a kiss
And you open my eyes

Your laughter brings me back
Daughters who make life fun
Despite the race, I’ll never run
Despite the clouds I see your sun
Support slides in two for one
And you bring me back

Your love holds me up
Keeps me on level ground
Whenever I’m lost, I am found
Whenever doubt comes around
Support slides in without a sound
And you hold me up

Your support is everything to me
This family is my wall
With all together, will never fall
With all for one and one for all
Your support is for the long haul
And it’s everything to me

It is unwavering
and it lights my way

With whatever comes
and whatever may

What my mere words
can barely say…


But I will always try.

Paper and pen for SURE

Capsule

         CAPSULE

Entirely trapped withinEyes for Capsule
an apprehensive maze
Rapt with guarded allure
in an enigmatic haze
Looking in the distance
a glimpse of what could be
A capsule look beyond
an instance of her with me

Finding in her eyes
what I was searching for      
A free-spirited soul
with so much more
An outlook so positive
a sense of good and true
Seeing an internal beauty
immersed inside my view

Everything feels so unreal…
Alone inside that moment.

Still slowly discovering
on our uncertain way
Fought against temptation
but decided to stay
Should have known better

should have said good night
Got lost in compulsion
the timing wasn’t right

Wary of that direction
so weary of that game
Thought we wanted more
thought we felt the same
A careful patient journey
had brought us to this place
Why the sudden detour?bed - Copy
Why this need to race?

Everything feels so unreal…
Left alone in that moment.

Saying what I thought
she wanted to hear
Candid cautious words
her silence very clear
Insights I would regret
with no need to rush
Uttered in a blind hurry
to just an eerie hush

Jolted from my trance
self-assurance suppressed
Nothing else for me to do
but quietly get dressed
Traces of good intentions
scattered carelessly around
Faint hopes lying on the floor
picked up without a sound

Everything feeling so unreal…
I left alone at that moment.

An agonizing drive home
riddled with doubt
Searching inside to find
what that reaction was about
Harsh recurring analysis
Backtracking in my headhazy woods
What made her panic?
What was it that I said?

Entirely trapped within
a confining, isolated maze
Stranded with my misgivings
in an angst-ridden haze
Lost before it was found
never knowing what could be
A fleeting capsule look
an instance of you and me

Everything feels so unreal…
All alone with that moment

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