Yet


Gary's screen shot
Yet

We float our true feelings
around and around and around
We can easily grab onto many,
while some are not easily found
Some seem impossible to conceal,
while others are still tightly bound
Still wrapped up in the past,
they are waiting to be unwound
Yet…
It’s these unwound words, even inadvertently pointed,
that feel as sharp as they sound

A comment sneaks in and stings you
There, like a wasp without a buzz
A statement that’s not meant to harm,
yet, quite often, it still does
Jabs of memory, cuts of comparison
The flings and arrows of a once was
It takes so very little to belittle
in the context of just because 

Inattentive and thoughtless behavior
when your partner’s life is its most unstable
Checking your phone or checking the scores
Refusing to apologize, when willing and able
The impact of images left open on a computer
The reaction to gloves left behind on a table
Inadvertent, yet thoughtless reminders
we’d like to forget, but are unable

It’s difficult to contain our emotions
from within the confines of fact
To not blurt out our instincts
at the expense of our tact
We burst selfishly out of a shell
that had previously been cracked
A sad excuse, and a symptom,
for a respect so sorely lacked
Yet…
We are ultimately accountable for our words
and the respect that they impact


A relationship is a work in progress

that always starts from behind
That’s why it’s far easier said than done
to be always thoughtful and kind
There is the inevitability of the past,
mixed with the today of the daily grind
The challenges of patience and personality
that can flood an open mind
Yet…
We need to keep floating our feelings
and be open to all we may find

You are still adjusting to a calendar of flux,
dotted with those difficult days
I still retract, detract, and then overreact
with the wrong turn of phrase
Some conflict will come, and conflict will go
as we share our common come what mays
Yet, in the reality of our commonalities
the mutual respect must go both ways

 Never do I want be taken for granted,
or to be treated as an afterthought
You absolutely deserve only my best intention
and the best attention I’ve got
This give and take is a delicate balance
that often puts couples on the spot
Fortunately, we have this love on our side
It may not be everything, but it’s quite a lot
Yet…
We struggle sometimes, as we continue to make strides,
trying to give to one other as much as we’d like to get

We are trying our best, for all the best reasons,
Yet, we’re not all the way there,  just yet

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Boomerang

Boomerang

We threw all of it away,
but it kept coming back
Every couple of months,
for the first year after year
Whenever you would call,
we’d meet at your wherever
Whenever you came to town,
we’d be together at my here

It seemed like we both knew
that we were meant to be
For two nights a week, at least
And on the long weekends, three

It was all about the physical,

or so we liked to believe
Yet, we would take each other’s heart
and wear it on our sleeve
Time, and then time again
a history of emotions would flow
Time after time, and time again
we would let each other go

It seemed like we both understood

far more was right than was wrong
Yet, we would choose to get going,
despite how well we got along

The occasional encounter, on a whim

The odd phone call, a reach out to touch
It was difficult, for us, to leave it all behind
because we held on to too much
Only ever so barely could I put you in my past
Returning far too often, for far too long
Time went by, and still I wondered
If we were really right, or really all that wrong

Our paths crossed less, our lives evolving

We’d exchange smiles, and that felt fine
I brought a date to your wedding,
but you came alone to mine

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You would still cross my married conscience
Compromised, for giving up without a fight
Oddly, I felt like I should apologize to her
but I knew, that would never make it right
Lost in my distraction, never in my temptation
Just a lingering null and a void in my mind
It would have been easy, then, if I had to choose
to where, and when, that I would rewind

Each of us have two teenage daughters
Other c
ommonalities, that we have both got
We still keep in touch through social media

You, happily married, and me, happily not

Stronger because of every life experience
Content, with who and where I am today
Time takes its liberties with my feelings

As it drifts further and further away
Jutting in and out with relative ease
A recent memory brings me back to you
A prom, a photograph, a time of our lives
I remember, and I smile, as I always do

The classic example of a lost love story,

where too late replaces not yet
The boomerang that never returns
Requited love, and reluctant regret

Applause

Applause

I’ve been here many times,
as their childhood has flown past

Sitting alone in the crowd
smiling, and having a blast
A proud, dedicated single parent
gathering memories that will last

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She weaves her way through a defense

that had previously refused to yield
Deft footwork and bursts of speed
guide her down the field
I spring from the edge of my seat
as a late victory is sealed

My legs, energized by her exploit
My lungs, filled with a rush of air
An abrupt acknowledgment of her endeavor
as I quickly rise up from my chair
Emphatic words in a father’s approval
ecstatic to be right there

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I see my teenage powerhouse
as she tumbles across the floor
A round-off and a back handspring
My gasp, and then a perfect two more
An exalted, frightening, wonderful feeling
that resonates to my core

My stomach, churning when she jumps
My heart, leaping when she lands
The uniquely exhilarating anguish
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put down the camera
to free up my hands

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The impetus for my applause
Feats that constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My two hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


It seems to me that it’s a graceful gazelle
that suddenly emerges from the pack
Anticipating the exact moment
from my spot along the track
As she glides around the final curve
the others get further and further back

My mind, racing with her to the finish
My senses, tingling from the start
The extent of her accomplishments
matching the size of her heart
Knowing the work ethic and the effort
that always set her apart

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Being early gets me a good seat
Dead center, given the chance
Oblivious of my surroundings
I listen to her play, I watch her dance
Happily lost, inside of myself
My own choice, my soul circumstance

My eyes, no matter what her stage
My ears, for any of the bands
The selfish, singular focus
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put the program down
to free up my hands

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The inspiration for my applause
Daughters who constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My t
wo hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


Sitting alone, in the crowd

as each new season has passed
Thankful for each new memory
as time ticks by so fast
Never wondering, or worrying,
if this one will be the last

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Solitary

Solitary
An enigma,
An illness,
A decision,
A hole.

Another question mark.
Another lost soul…

It’s hard to recognize someone
that no one knows
Difficult, to see,
what someone never shows
A lost face,
beneath a mask
A happier place,
inside a flask
A positive outlook,
an impossible task
So many questions,
you can’t find to ask

When a mind struggles, alone,
A brain storm, of their own
Swept up in in an instant
Where it’s dark and it’s distant
A solitary place,
they might go
Where every sky
must bring snow
Left with answers
that no one will know

It’s hard to comprehend something

that no one understands
Difficult, to grasp something,
when it’s out of your hands
A mystery,
wrapped up in a mind
A history
they drag behind
An act,
selfishly unkind
Too many reasons,
that are impossible to find

When a life ends, alone,

A sad choice, on their own
A final decision that’s made
When they are despondent or afraid
Solitary tears,
sliding down the drain
Cold and confounding,
like a January rain
Leaving little more,
than questions and pain

It’s hard to be sad

for someone who is gone
Difficult, now, for those
obliged to move on
An opened investigation
A closed case
A stark image,
they can’t replace
A terrible memory,
they can’t erase
A huge void,
with just a face

As I sit here, today, alone,

contemplating life, not just my own
I worry, about all that is to be,
What I may not understand, or see
The solitary angst,
my someones can’t bare
Changes in the seasons
When
there’s something in the air
The questions and answers,
we just have to share

I give my resolute vow…
I will be far more aware.
I will be here.
I will be there.

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Smile

               Smile

I only get to see you            Sun for Every                  
once in a while
But, every time I do,
I get to see your smile

My favourite thing, so far,
has been that smile
The way it pulls me in,
and how it makes me feel
From the time we met,
to right now, and now,
it is seeing you smile
that makes us feel real

Your smile resonates personality,
and a true love for life
A glow that surrounds you
and reflects in your eyes
Its spontaneous nature
belies an instinct to hide
And the more that it reveals,
the less that it tries

Your smile radiates positivity,
in the purest sense
In its genuine warmth,
in the honesty that it shows
When a tear drop appears,
behind a memory,
your smile takes over
like a friend who knows          

Most of all, I’ve noticed,
your smile is simply beautiful           
It expresses a depth
to the life inside your heart
A confidence of character,
that I find to be contagious
Something to keep with me,
on the days we are apart

I only get to see you
once in a while
But the next time I do,
I know I’ll see you smile

 

 

STORIES

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STORIES


Let’s talk about “ this one thing that happened”.

We all have our stories
and they are shaped
by how we tell them.

Truth, and fiction

Resonant, and relevant

Memory and interpretation

We say what we filter
and we reveal our view
by what we’ve chosen.

Anything, or everything

Reserve, and unburden

Shame and pride

We turn the camera around
and tighten the focus
by pointing it at ourselves.

Observe, and record

Comment, and document

Impulse and exploration

We learn about the possibilities
and everyone plays a role
by being part of the story.

Expose, and suppose

Infusion, and confusion

Tact and responsibility

We leave scrutiny out there
and open for discussion
by inviting judgement.

Audience, and storyteller

Perceive, and deceive

Truth and fiction.

 

All about “ this one thing that happened”.

 

Every

Every

Partial Sun for Every

I glance out of my window to see that the sun is partially hidden by clouds…

For every picture that I see   there is a certain memory
For every thought that I write   there is a day, there is a night
For every moon and every star   there is a distance twice as far
For every person in every town   there is an up, there is a down
For every place that we have been   there is another we’ve never seen

I can hear the birds and an occasional breeze
as it touches the trees…

For every song there is a dance   there is a hope, there is a chance
For every smile there is a sigh   there is a reason for every why
For every true and special friend   there is a wishful word to send
Sun for Every
For every glimpse of what could be   there is this voice inside of me
For every time that I think of you    there is a sunrise in full view

Looking out again I see the sun is entirely visible
and quite bright
.

Known

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I know her so well,
Though I’m not sure how.
Mists from a distant past
to a clear here and now.
Perhaps from a recurring dream,
where love is real, not fake.
Where I know I might find her
lying beside me as I wake.
A line in my favourite book
Eloquent words enliven a blank page
A scene in a romantic play…
a soliloquy that fills an empty stage.
I know her so well,
Though it’s been but a while.
A rainbow of honest expression
Caring eyes and a truthfulsmile.
Perhaps she understands me
Sees beyond my flaws, my past
Accepts my own honest ravings
because I’m in love at last.
Knowing that she is always here
in my mind and in my heart.
In my thoughts and my hopes…
Ties that bind when we’re apart.
I know her so well
The road winds along
Familiar signs mark the way
Turns are right, never wrong.
I know her so well
My mind’s eye can see
All that matters now…
is that she’s here with me.
 

Steady

Clear ahead with the awakening dawn
One last kiss leaves me with you
Freshly made coffee warms my way
Freshly made memory in my rear view

An internal calm so long in coming
A tranquility inside with room to grow
Beams of light are in lucid sight
Waves of wonders I want to know

The snow dances in my headlights
My destination beyond the misty haze
More accustomed with every turn
More familiar with both our ways


Heading home on this winding road
The same path that led me to you
Content in knowing I will be back soon
Holding steady, at ten and two.


Even more vivid on this perfect morning
The sunrise illuminates nature’s ease
Every nuance greets my welcome eyes
I feel the silence and embrace my peace

Another beautiful day lies straight ahead
Trees sway as a gentle breeze drifts by
I can see patches of blue in the distance
As the horizon rises to meet the sky

Something is certain in either direction
This unclouded vision whether from or to
A picture framed in my front windshield
An increasingly clear vista of me with you


Finding  perspective on this winding road
Following the path that led me to you
Secure with my solid grip on today
Holding steady, at ten and two.

 

Certain of this route I have chosen again
And with the love for you I always bring
Knowing anticipation hastens my return
Though I am in no hurry to miss a thing

Sparse towns have become rich in meaning
They seem so different since that day we met
Houses and stores and hillside fences
Each one more significant the nearer I get

Music accompanies me as I make my way
Energizing and inspiring as it fills my car
I find you in the words that accompany me
Heartfelt reminders that we are never too far

 

Finding harmony on this winding road
Confident path leading back to you
Feeling safe with a firm grasp on today
Holding steady, at ten and two.

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