Bridge

Bridge

I do whatever I need to do
Take whatever way it takes
to see the smile on her face
I have my self-preservation,
and my selfish inspiration,
to take me to that place…

I find solace in technology
In the time-lapse comfort
of a heart-inspired text
I can reach across with words
A bridge that spans the gap
from one smile to the next

Often, I write even more,
as my mind stretches out
to the necessary length
It’s a way from me to her
And I can hold on until then
because this is my strength

When both our separate lives
reluctantly keep us apart
I know I can edge nearer
When I find her response
there isn’t the sound of her voice
but I can still hear her

She is my after
She is my before
She makes my day,
She makes me want more
She is my now
She is my again
She is my next time
She is my til then

black and white bridge leaf outdoors
I do whatever I need to do

Take whatever way it takes
to see the smile on your face
I have my self-preservation,
and my selfish motivation,
to take me to that place…

I have twelve hour work days
Sometimes there’s five
Sometimes, only two
I can shorten either time,
I can shorten either bridge,
with all my thoughts of you

Often, I escape to memories,
as my mind reaches back
to our last perfect night
It’s a short distance away
And I can hold on to then
with all of my might

When my work frustrations
threaten the best of me
I know where I can go
When my patience wains,
I look behind, and move ahead
because I already know

You are my after
You are my before
You make my day,
You make me want more
You are my now
You are my again
You are my next time
You are my until then


Love is the bridge
that gets me to you…
And I always will take it
Thinking about you
edges me ever closer…
Until I can make it.

Lu

Lu
I have tried to put myself where you are
To imagine how all of this must make you feel.
To imagine all you must be thinking
as you sit down, with us, to share in a meal.
When something as vital as all of this,
questions you’ve carried and could no longer conceal,
becomes something now that actually is.
Something uncertain, that is suddenly real.
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Unanswered questions, so near to your life
The persistent glimmer, as you have grown
Many thought-filled nights, lying in bed,
with a glimpse of the truth, beside an unknown
All of the trappings of everyday normalcy,
family and friends and the seeds you have sewn
Childhood innocence, and then adolescence
An adult, then a mom, with a family of your own

Ongoing years, learning a little at a time
Altered details of who you had hoped to meet
Your husband’s hand, and love and support,
and a wondering heart’s determined beat
Through family trees, into family histories
From informative emails to a signature on a sheet
Back and forth, and around and around,
until your elusive circle is near to complete

In the comfort of somewhere that feels familiar
Together, at long last, on the Huron shore
On a Wednesday in May, at a Goderich gathering,
of open minds, through an open door
With all of your rights, and your revelations,
and all the years that were too much to ignore
After all of the clues, and then the confirmation,
you finally catch up to all that came before

Along with all of the realities of a good life to here,
there is the calm in knowing you have even more.

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We sincerely hope this all feels completely real.
And that we have helped to make it easier for you.
We also look forward to our next time together,
whenever that may be, whatever we may do.
And I think that I can speak for all of us,
for your extra, additional family…and for our mother too,
when I say that whatever your life’s wishes are,
we hope that at least one of them has now come true.

Thinking


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Thinking


Thinking, alone in my car,
as I am heading your way
Thinking, as the sun goes down
on yet another busy day

Thinking, about what I am thinking,
as I pause at the corner to turn right
Thinking, that I am excited to see you,
as I am each and every night
Thinking, about just how much I love you,
as I stop to wait for the light
Thinking, that I love what I’m thinking,
as your house comes into sight

 

full moon illustration


Thinking, alone in my car,
as I pull into your driveway
Thinking, as the moon looks down
on the best part of my day

Thinking, of the first glimpse of your face,
as you meet me at the door
Thinking, of feeling perfectly whelmed,
as I have on every night before
Thinking, of this next kiss and embrace,
as the first of so many more
Thinking, that I love what I’m thinking,
as I look to all we have in store

Drained


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Drained


Life asked too much of me today…

When I finally did sit down,
in silent exhaustion
the whole of me was aching,
inside and out
My determination had been battered
And my will was strewn about
The voice of all of my frustrations
left
too tired to shout

I had been drained by the day,
feeling tattered and torn
This day, took everything I had
And then greedily wanted more
My heart, left clinging to my sleeve
My soul, scattered on the floor

Endless hours, of one after another,
constantly knocking on my door

Yet, there was a calming sense of relief
A satisfaction of accomplishment
For having passed each test,
on the worst ‘just one of those days’
I rose up to every harsh challenge
I chose
all of the appropriate plays
I was exhausted, yet extremely alive,
proud of my self-sustaining ways

Life asked too much of me today…

Summoning everything that I had,
I found more than I knew I had to give
On days like these, we don’t get to choose
the life that we have to live

Lapse

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                    Lapse

I can feel             the far away
Sad,            yes,           but true
The sting of the significance
between one of us
                                      and two
There is nothing
                                    I can say
Nothing            that I can do
No how,             and no way,
that will bring                  me
closer to you


It’s the length of the lapse

when it’s been a while
The depth of the empty
without your smile
The measure of my mindset
is the expanse of this trial
The breadth of this distance
spans every mile

 

I can already feel you       there
when you     open       your door
The same   sense of excitement
as
             every
                              time
                                              before
That exact, extreme closeness
I have been      longing         for
A warmth of completely near,
and,  then,  our so much more


It’s the length of the hug

when it’s been a while
The depth of the fulfillment
when I see your smile
The height of the sensation,
without tribulation, or trial
The breadth of these emotions
is the expanse of every mile

More

More

You opened my eyes
when you opened your door.
I saw so much in an instant…
And then, I saw so much more.

I had this innate, satisfying sense
that you were excited that I was there.
That you had anxiously anticipated my arrival
with thoughtful touches, and extra care.

Shiny, soft, silky, sexy straight hair.
Bare shoulders, tempting my gaze.
Subtle accents to your natural beauty.
Eyes that danced, and constantly amaze.

I could see your love, in their clear honesty.
In the moment that they looked into mine.
I could taste it, on your moistened lips,
as we drank to us and sipped our wine.

Our playful innuendo, hand fitting hand.
Walking and talking, doing what we do.
Sharing an appetizer and the same wavelength.
The simple pleasures, when it’s me with you.

Yet, there was more, inside your beautiful smile.
In each expressive nuance of your lovely face.
More of something, that was strongly tangible.
I could feel it, with certainty, in every embrace.

We seemed to hold on just a little longer, and stronger.
And there was this extra warmth in your soft touch.
It seemed as though you were exuding happiness.
A pleasure in knowing that we have found so much.

The realization, that you are allowed to be happy.
That you can be yourself, and be entitled to more.
I recognized the difference, like the flip of a switch.
Aglow, in a radiant light, when you opened your door.

I already realized how much that I loved you,
and I knew of so many reasons why.
It was obvious that we were terrific together.
And I knew for sure that I was a lucky guy.

But what struck me most, on this night,
was seeing just how content that you were.
I sincerely had hoped you were as happy as I.
It felt wonderful to know it for sure.

You have opened my eyes
to how much that you appreciate me.
I see so much, through you…
And I love all that I can see.

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Then


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Then

It’s about time, for her.
She has worked unselfishly,
and has more than paid her dues.
Time, then, to remember herself.
The longer that she forgets,
then the more she has to lose.

A ten-hour day,
then kids, then dinner, 
and then it’s a half past six.

The others clean up,
then they head for their screens.
Then another hour ticks.

Then TV, for another two or three.
Then she is lost in her thoughts.
Her self, getting lost in the mix.

She gives, and she gives.
She gives some more,
and then, she gives.
Seldom, does she complain.
Never, does she consider
how she barely lives.

She stares, alone then,
vaguely through the mirror,
and then she washes her face.

She remembers morning practice.
Then sets her alarm ahead,
so they won’t have to race.

She turns back the covers.
T
hen reaches for her book.
And then she takes her place.

She gives, and she gives.
She gets very little,
and then, she gives.
Seldom, does he notice.
Never, does he appreciate
how the other half lives.

Then, in the silence, he fades.
There’s a mumbled ‘good night’,
and then it’s lights out.

Then she lies there awake.
Then along comes the pain.
And then, the self-doubt.

Then, the frustration builds.
Then the inevitable tears.
And then the urge to shout.

It’s then that she realizes
that this can no longer be 
what her life is about.

She gives, and she gives.
Then she wants more.
And then she knows.
Eventually, she recognizes.
Finally, she decides.
And it’s then that she goes.

It was time then, for her.
She knew she deserved better,
and she had every right to choose.
Time then, to rediscover herself.
The longer that she waited,
then the more she had to lose.

She is taking time, now, for her self.
Leaving her longing behind,
and making a solemn, personal vow.
She will take, as much as she gives,
because this is her time to live.
That was her then, and this is her now.

 

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Soaking


Soaking

Her absence 
seeps into my being 
My closed eyes 
still seeing 
Staying with me 
after she has gone 
Her presence 
lingering on 
My bursting mind  
filled with her 
Pouring thoughts 
that easily concur 
Spilling into
my every word 
Soaked in moments 
In all that I heard

Shared emotions
in morning’s light
Drenched in the wake
of a satisfying night
Dark hair flowing
over a bare back
Laughs of knowing
The resistance we lack
Floating ideas
for the next first
Ways to satiate
our constant thirst
The mist of her eyes
before one last kiss
Her buoyant wish
for more of this

 

File

File

Two steps forward, and one and a half back
This weary ascent, up my mental list
The more skewed the priorities, the more I lack
Still a half step behind what I can’t resist

I am preoccupied, with so many loose ends
What little time, spent reeling them in
With eyes wide, to avoid common friends
Leery, that your patience is wearing thin

It’s my quiet burden, this selective secret
Lines of inconvenience, thickening a folder
Life evolves, while I struggle to keep it
As the new, and good, look over my shoulder

All the transitional turmoil, single spaced
A ledger of my worries, my personal file
A test of your resolve, stacked with my haste
Noted, then placed, at the bottom of the pile

We will rise, when I am free, from all of this
When I can share myself,  fully, with you
This promise, an asterisk, and a kiss
For now, these, are the best I can do

Picture2

Applause

Applause

I’ve been here many times,
as their childhood has flown past

Sitting alone in the crowd
smiling, and having a blast
A proud, dedicated single parent
gathering memories that will last

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She weaves her way through a defense

that had previously refused to yield
Deft footwork and bursts of speed
guide her down the field
I spring from the edge of my seat
as a late victory is sealed

My legs, energized by her exploit
My lungs, filled with a rush of air
An abrupt acknowledgment of her endeavor
as I quickly rise up from my chair
Emphatic words in a father’s approval
ecstatic to be right there

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I see my teenage powerhouse
as she tumbles across the floor
A round-off and a back handspring
My gasp, and then a perfect two more
An exalted, frightening, wonderful feeling
that resonates to my core

My stomach, churning when she jumps
My heart, leaping when she lands
The uniquely exhilarating anguish
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put down the camera
to free up my hands

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The impetus for my applause
Feats that constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My two hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


It seems to me that it’s a graceful gazelle
that suddenly emerges from the pack
Anticipating the exact moment
from my spot along the track
As she glides around the final curve
the others get further and further back

My mind, racing with her to the finish
My senses, tingling from the start
The extent of her accomplishments
matching the size of her heart
Knowing the work ethic and the effort
that always set her apart

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Being early gets me a good seat
Dead center, given the chance
Oblivious of my surroundings
I listen to her play, I watch her dance
Happily lost, inside of myself
My own choice, my soul circumstance

My eyes, no matter what her stage
My ears, for any of the bands
The selfish, singular focus
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put the program down
to free up my hands

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The inspiration for my applause
Daughters who constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My t
wo hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


Sitting alone, in the crowd

as each new season has passed
Thankful for each new memory
as time ticks by so fast
Never wondering, or worrying,
if this one will be the last

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