Applause

Applause

I’ve been here many times,
as their childhood has flown past

Sitting alone in the crowd
smiling, and having a blast
A proud, dedicated single parent
gathering memories that will last

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She weaves her way through a defense

that had previously refused to yield
Deft footwork and bursts of speed
guide her down the field
I spring from the edge of my seat
as a late victory is sealed

My legs, energized by her exploit
My lungs, filled with a rush of air
An abrupt acknowledgment of her endeavor
as I quickly rise up from my chair
Emphatic words in a father’s approval
ecstatic to be right there

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I see my teenage powerhouse
as she tumbles across the floor
A round-off and a back handspring
My gasp, and then a perfect two more
An exalted, frightening, wonderful feeling
that resonates to my core

My stomach, churning when she jumps
My heart, leaping when she lands
The uniquely exhilarating anguish
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put down the camera
to free up my hands

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The impetus for my applause
Feats that constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My two hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


It seems to me that it’s a graceful gazelle
that suddenly emerges from the pack
Anticipating the exact moment
from my spot along the track
As she glides around the final curve
the others get further and further back

My mind, racing with her to the finish
My senses, tingling from the start
The extent of her accomplishments
matching the size of her heart
Knowing the work ethic and the effort
that always set her apart

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Being early gets me a good seat
Dead center, given the chance
Oblivious of my surroundings
I listen to her play, I watch her dance
Happily lost, inside of myself
My own choice, my soul circumstance

My eyes, no matter what her stage
My ears, for any of the bands
The selfish, singular focus
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put the program down
to free up my hands

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The inspiration for my applause
Daughters who constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My t
wo hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


Sitting alone, in the crowd

as each new season has passed
Thankful for each new memory
as time ticks by so fast
Never wondering, or worrying,
if this one will be the last

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Sensational

Sensational
There is no secret formula
to what works for me with you
We simply go wherever
the sensations take us to…

Every time we get together, it seems,
we add something new to the mix
It’s our possibilities addiction,
and we can’t wait for another fix 
A constant stream of unique sensations
Spontaneous abandon, going with the flow
A near to the edge of anticipation
The craving for you just never know

It’s the understatement of the embrace
when one of us walks in the door
The understood, unspoken expectation
that we are in for so much more
The adrenalin of our any given moment
The rush of the next uncovered feeling
A song, a word, a look, a touch
Real sensations, that often leave us reeling

We found one another
when the time for us was right
A man and woman, with love,
and the sensations of each night…

Every time we are apart, it seems,
we look forward with an impatient haste
Driven by our insatiable appetites,
and the selfish need for another taste
More than just passion wets our appetite
We find satisfaction in our conversations
It’s the opportunity that fuels our desires
Time together, that feeds the sensations

We have been spoiled by availability,
but we share the same perspective
Better to indulge in creating memories
than to feel empty or sadly reflective
We can fill up on todays and tomorrows
On shared experiences, and the little things
Be stimulated by all that we have now
And by every sensation the future brings

It’s the end of another work day
and we have no idea what’s in store
We do know that it will be sensational
Who could ask for more.

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Reason

Reason
I see the lows of your residual pain,
and I feel helpless 
But I know what I need to do
I need to be the strength that pulls you up, 
and keeps you there
I want to be the man to take care of you

I want to be your resilience
I want you to move on, with me, 
to a far better place
I want to be beside you when get there
I want to be the reason for the next smile on your face

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I find myself, wrapped up in your worry,

holding you, firmly in my arms
And I never want to say when
I want you to always feel secure,
safe within my love
To be the certainty, to your never again

I want to be your clarity
Want you to look straight ahead,
and to never turn away
I want to be in focus, the bright future
I want to be the reason  
you look forward to every day


I am realistic, and I am a dreamer 

I know that life isn’t easy,
especially with lingering doubt
I want to help you cope, to give you hope
I want to play a part in your dreams,
and be part of what they are about

I want to be your confidence
I want you to feel good about yourself,
because so much of you is good
I want to be your daily reminder
I want to be the reason,
every reason, that you should

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Most of all, I want to be your optimism

Want you to find the best of me,
and to discover even more in time
I want to be your inspiration
I want to be the rhyme, and the reason,
just as you are the reason to my rhyme

 

 

Greed

Greed
My racing mind tells me,
this is good
This is very good
These vital sensations
This wanting
This need
The smile on my face
My pounding heart
This awakened perspective
This healthy greed

I slip out of bed
wanting more
Head for the shower
wanting more
I get ready for work
I head out the door
I back up my car
wanting more

More of the physical
My blood is churning
More of the cerebral
My mind is freed
The more I get,
the more I want
The more I have,
the more I need

The happy reality

of my healthy greed


 

Confined

“People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it.”
– Jim Morrison20150930_213223[1]

 Confined

He goes to bed each night
alone with the ache
 His internal conflict
keeping them both awake
Wakes up weary every morning
lying beside his vanity
With a smile for his children
and a check mark for his sanity

Physical versus mental
in a battle of his pain
Sensory and substantial
is the signal from his brain
From necessity and habit
you conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
with wounds that won’t heal

Scar tissue and time
The confines of the mind
Self-motivation
Self-preservation
Selfishly suppressing the pain
Scar tissue and time
A safe place to hide
He
fights the pain

His wounds remain
Sustaining himself from inside

An actor playing himself
in the true story of he
Absorbed in the role of everyman
and that’s who he has to be

Scripted by circumstance
he has lines on every page
Penned for his own purposes
he is resplendent on his stage

 
A song written in his head
but needed by his heart

Lyrics intended for healing
they’re upbeat from the start
Motivation for mind and body
 Affected, but indeed sincere
He gives a selfless performance
for everyone to hear

Scar tissue and time
The complexities of the mind
Self-medication
Self-preservation
Selfishly deflecting the pain
Scar tissue and time
Enduring another day
Different roots of pain

No Ledger or Cobain
Determined to go another way

Scar tissue and time
You conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
When wounds never heal

Scar tissue and time
In the confines of your mind
You ascend another day
Starting from behind

 

Resolve

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Resolve

When you feel like you’re fading
it keeps you strong
When pushed to your limits
it pulls you along
When the daily grind tests you
it answers the call
When you need to have structure
it provides a wall

When life seems like a puzzle
too difficult to solve
Search within yourself
and you will find your resolve

It’s the ability to deal
when you need to cope
When your ambition wavers
it gives you hope
It’s that extra drive
when you’re tempted to coast
The competitive edge
when you need it the most

When doubts creep in
it is never too far
Your resolve enables you
It’s there where you are

Your resolve lifts you up
whenever you dip
It brings you back
when you start to slip
When you are feeling lost
you will find your way
When someone needs you
you’ll be there to stay

It gives you courage
when you dig down deep
Summon your resolve

and take that leap

When aches and pains
stand in your way
You build up your resolve
and get through the day
When life brings you stress
and you’d rather hide
Your resolve teams up
with your innate pride

You may surprise yourself
with all that you find
An inner well of resilience
  lifting matter over mind
An array of capabilities
A reserve of your strength
A measure of flexibility
you stretch to your length

Your resolve will guide you
toward your loftiest goal
It is right there inside you…
It’s your heart, it’s your soul

Coping

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Coping

Don’t try to understand it

because you can’t
Don’t try to forget about it
because you won’t
Don’t try to drown your sorrow
because you shouldn’t…
And don’t even think that you are alone
because you are not.

You have friends and family to lean on,
because you can
because you will
because you should…
And because we are.


You will come to accept it

because you have to
You will hold on to your memories
because you need them
You will gain strength
because you must…
And you will never be alone
because you are not.

You have friends and family to lean on,
you have acceptance
you have memories
you have strength…
And you have us.

Solitude

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Solitude

 I choose time alone
when I simply want to be
nearer to myself
 my solitude and me

A discreet place to revitalize my mind
Leaving the mess of the world behind
Discovery within my solitary den
Deciding where and how and when
Choosing to get lost, in order to find
A matter of self-reflection, that’s undefined
A substance of silence that finds my pen
Feelings are sought and selected again

Paper and pen for SURE
I need to escape
to where I should be
closer to myself
 my solitude and me

Sometimes separation is a necessary place
Withdrawing my emotions at my own pace
Safer within my sole situation
Restrained inside my contemplation
Choosing to retreat, to my own space
Saving my words, while saving face
Distancing myself from temptation
Separating sense from sensation

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I seek out true serenity
  comfort in where I will be
right there beside myself
 my solitude and me

A secluded place where my soul can stay
Understanding the world, by turning away
Immersed within my distinct seclusion
Savoring quality time without intrusion
Choosing the hours, from day to day
 To do my own thing, in my own way
Lured by a tranquility that’s paper thin
My particular private selfish place within

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I choose this time alone

so I can just be
content with myself
 my solitude, and me

This peaceful place where I have grown
Recognizing the richness of self-unknown
Perception within my mind’s eye
Seeing the strength and knowing why
Choosing to internalize, on my own
Joined by my thoughts, I am never alone
 Together we laugh, we learn, we try
Finding perspective with myself and I

 

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Dedicate

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Dedicate

If only I could dedicate my days
Do the thing that fills me with pride
This creative craft that makes me whole
If only my time was on my side.


I take my need for words personally

It’s the inspiration that I thirst
A hunger that I should feed daily
A craving to please myself first

Words give me second chances
To fill the page with what I have seen
The chance to relive this life experience
To revisit places where I have been

Words that illustrate what I am thinking
The vivid thoughts and lucid scenes
Creating something entirely tangible
What I am feeling and what it means

A place to go inside of my head
Where ideas co-exist and are free to roam
Where opinions and emotions can come and go
A place that we can all call home

No editing of heart or of soul
No compromise and no limitation
Getting out of the way of my intuition
To empty my reserve of imagination

Writing always gives me strength
When life seems like a dizzying climb
I ascend alone and seek the summit
Up and over, one word at a time

I summon my resolve and determination
The impetus is change and personal growth
To inspire and aspire, impress and express
My selfish vow and impassioned oath

I crave the freedom to expose my mind
To fill the page with all I am seeing
With every breath of my inspiration
With all of the blood of my being


If only I could dedicate my days
Could make my living where I reside
My mind could breathe and words would flow…
If only my time was on my side.
 

 

Matters

Restless pursuit this need to run
down streets of fire and rain
back alleys of joy and pain
away from the eyes of yesterday
to where it’s only this day that
matters


Happy and safe and satisfied          Tells me exactly why she feels

  Rests her head above my heart       Grips my arm to keep me near
    Pretty and kind and genuine             Simple sense should be enough
      Pure measure to her responses        Obviously sure in her sensuality

To nurture is my nature                 Have settled into this calm before
  Same quiet comfort condition       An air of duality peaceful and familiar
    How to detach is my dilemma       Never wishing to affect or afflict
      Needing to leave circumstance at full speed and join the chase to where I belong


No right escape from this situation
spiral stairway to solid ground
twisting path from lost to found
away from the arms of yesterday
to where it’s only this way that
matters


Time and space and in between         Barely standing on shaky legs
  Misunderstood meandering man       Looking for the straight answer
   Accepting and expecting and free      Open to possibilities and change
     Uncertain of which way to turn            Divided with my head in the clouds

To settle has been my pattern           An ego fed love I can never return
  Boundless bravado housed inside    A shadow beside my former self
   To pursue is what I’ve got to do          Releasing the will to grasp at chance
     Needing to motivate my willing legs and take purposeful strides toward fulfillment


I want to take her hand and run
down streets of fire and rain
back alleys of joy and pain
away from the eyes of yesterday
to where I can have my say in what
matters


Exciting and vital and full of life            Challenging my every need to know

  Chasing her essence lost in a trance     I see so much living behind her eyes
    Radiant and bright and so aware           Yet suspended in a well of reserve
     She shines a light in my search               Love lost places that I hope to find

To burst out through an open door          Releasing the passion that controls me
  Carrying all the devotion I have to give    Leaving behind this tormented soul
   To swiftly scoop her up on my way            Imagining a path to where we belong
     Confident in knowing this is right and completely prepared to sprint into the sun


I have to take her hand and run

down streets of fire and rain
back alleys of joy and pain
away from the eyes of yesterday
to where it’s only today that
matters

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