Consumed

20200109_110906                                                                        CONSUMED

We all have our present,
and our afters,
and our befores
And, right now,
all of my tenses,
are consumed by yours…


I wake up this morning,
and she is here,
and so am I
Her head comes to rest
on my contented chest
as it breathes a sigh
She slides out of bed
and opens up the blinds
to nothing but blue sky
To time, taken for granted,
as each next day
cruises on by

Then, suddenly, my thoughts turn
To the sad and horrific news
the two of you have shared
Like a sharp slap in the face,
I am now thoroughly awake
I feel trapped, and ensnared
I am jolted to the core
by your worst nightmare
And I am truly scared
I am terrified and consumed
by you just never know
And, of course, am unprepared

I am overcome, knowing,
that our every days
can change just like that
Realizing, that our tomorrows
could be suddenly lost
in the drop of a hat
Overcome knowing, at any moment,
the momentum of a life
can fall suddenly flat
As I realize all of this,
I look helplessly toward her,
 shaken by all of that

So I take her in my arms…
just to have her there


My daughter says good-bye,

on a Sunday,
and I wipe away a tear
Spoiled, as I was,
for the eleven weeks
I had her so near
My mind wanders,
to what awaits
for another school year
And to all of those things
I took for granted
while she was here

Then, my thoughts leap,
in an instant,
back to the two of you
I am emotionally assaulted
by the brutal realities
of all you are going through
Struck, by the cruel circumstance
that life can afflict
with barely a clue
Consumed, by helpless fear and anger
By the vast uncertainty
And by the blatantly true

I am overcome, knowing,
that delicate balance
of our hopes and our dreams
Realizing, our tenuous reality
is seldom as certain
as it sometimes seems
Overcome, knowing,
life can take a terrible turn
despite our grandest schemes
I realize, with cold certainty,
we are helpless to the course
of what destiny deems

So I call my daughter…
just to hear her voice

We all are at the mercy
of what life takes,
and what life brings
And, right now,
I am consumed, knowing,
that it takes many things.

SAME

SAME

Eyes wide openIMG_20150330_112911[1]
Looking over at me
Awake in the wake.
        More beautiful
        More expressive
        More than I can take.

That same dream
The same image
         just as clear.

The same realities
The same memories
         find me here.


Still you are gone
Never coming back

Sadly taken away.
        Hard to accept
        Hard to understand
        Hard to even say

The same nightmare
That same visionbed - Copy
        of the very end.
The same horror
The same memories
         to comprehend.


Shock and disbelief
Second-hand news
First-hand pain.
        Taking my time
        Taking my sleep
        Taking me back again.

The same heartache
The same dream
         of once was.
The same nightmare
The same memories
        The same just because.

(more…)

Void

IMG_20141126_202512

Void

Just cut it off now, please.
Solder it closed and
let me be.

The void has to be better
than putting up with
this.
Day after day after day
after day.

Relieve me of this pain, please.
Throw it in the trash and
let me be.

A pulse of constant excruciation
emanating from inside
me.
Night after night after night
after night.

Sooth me with your blade, please.
End this nightmare and
let me be.

Take away this awful reality
because it won’t be
missed.
Day and night and night
and day.

My mind seeks solace
in this daydream.
My body seeks an escape
from this nightmare.

Freedom in the void.

Let me be.

Please.
.

IMG_20141126_203243

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