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April 8th.

At long last,
I can breathe.
Fill my lungs
with hope
with exuberance
with fresh optimism
Enough of
the incessant reminders
No more
of her suffocating grief
I exhale
only contentment
Breathe only
a sigh of relief

At long last,
I can think.
Open my mind
for creativity
for revelation
for honest expression
Free from
the condescending paralysis
Away from
her sickening superiority
I speak volumes
only for myself
Think clearly
as sole authority

A long last,
I can look.
Cast my glance
to tomorrow
to possibilities

to cloudless horizons
See beyond
the judgemental glare
See past
her irrational ways
I focus
only to the future
Look forward
to my everydays


At long last,

I can breathe.

At long last,
I can think.

At long last,
I see.

At long last…
just be


 

 

Stimulus

Calendar
Stimulus
Spinning your wheels

Stuck in a daily rut
Same old same old day
Time for something new

Needing time for you
 Needing to get away

blocked path
Take a trip to the other side

The one you seldom see
The road less travelled
The path least accessible
Beyond the place to be

Where we need to go
to feel more alive
More often than we do
A place like no other
Where few have seen the view

An adrenalin adventure
to the other side
Past the comfort zone
To the weedy

To the seedy
To the vastly overgrown
20151109_182142[1]

An arduous journey
to where revelation may lie
To where something
could jump out at you
as you wander by

Where the mind is awakened
By the elements of surprise
By discovering there’s more
there is so much more
than what meets the eyes

A gut check trek
Over blind hills
to the other side
To the inspirational

To the motivational
To where revelations hide
hazy woods
Sensations abruptly awakened
Bringing the dark into light
Energy to your being
Focus to all you’re seeing

Colour to your black and white

Where nature may compel you
to perceive a different way
To exist in the moment
Persist for the present
To live for every day

A vital injection
of life adrenalin

straight to the heart
A shot to the senses
An end to past tenses
 The stimulus to start
20151109_135024[1]

Friends

 

                     FriendsIMG_202197205059992[1]


Friendships shape a life

Make it worth living
Memories from the gift
Memories in the giving

Connecting you to two lives
A defining link to your past
A certain part of your future
Friends first, and friends last

Remaining close in spirit
With no matter how far
It’s not just what you do
A friend is who you are

Inside jokes with just a glance
Self-effacing, imitation to the letter
Funnier from the shared experience
IMG_20140913_134817[1]
The more absurd, the more the better
Acting your age always optional

Speak your mind, or from your gut
Colourful language, to be expected
Opinions matter, no matter what

Trusting that it stays here
The bond as strong as the word
The vault is always left open
But once it’s said, it is once heard
Criticizing when only required
Subtle reminders of any pretense
Calmly putting you in your place
And you knowing that it makes sense
Feet BW


Friendships shape a life

Make it worth living
Memories from the gift
Memories in the giving…

Hearing the hidden meaning
Of the thoughts left unsaid
The silence between the words
The struggles inside your head
Protecting necessary solitude

When reality takes its toll
Sharing pleasure, dividing pain
Two friends, a common soul

Staying right beside you
Throughout the unplanned
Still managing to realize
When they don’t understand
Strength in that number

The enduring power of twoIMG_20140701_131049[1]
Doing whatever it takes
And knowing
what to do


Friendships shape a life
Make it worth living
Memories from the gift
Memories in the giving

Connecting you to two lives
A defining link to your past
A certain part of your future
Friends first, and friends last
Remaining close in spirit
With no matter how far
It’s not just what you do
A friend is who you areMarley and Pete

 

 

 

 

HEAR

HEAR

It’s about trust

Take me on my word.
Have I ever lied to you?

No lines for you
to read between.
I mean everything
that I say
I say everything
that I mean


It’s about space

It is okay to need solitude.
Can I be alone with my thoughts?

No other way for me
to figure it out.
Sometimes it is about 
just me
And just me
that it’s all about


It’s about clarity

I know how I am feeling.
What reason would I have to lie?

No hidden agenda for you
to uncover.
I did love her
back then
But then
I didn’t love her

IMG_20141208_114246[1]
 

It’s about time

Every day adds to what has passed.
Why can’t you let it go too?

No reasons for you
to not move on.
Been gone for
so long
That it is
so long gone


It is about now

We have to trust in the big picture.
Put space between us and the past.

No words that I say 
can make it more clear.
Here and now is the 
time for you 
And now is the time 
for you to hear

IMG_20141208_114447[1]

Discretion

DiscretionIMG_20141102_142927[1]

Stopped instantly in your tracks.
Waves of shock and then disbelief.

Her picture right there for all to see
The headline, as plain as can be
Words that strike at your very core
Shaken by the thought of reading more
You dare to look, despite the knowing
Helpless to keep it all from showing
Putting your back against the wall
Needing support as your barriers fall

Because now,
you are weakened by what you’ve read,
and you can’t move ahead.


Staggered by this second-hand news.

An instantaneous jolt of clarity. 

Taken directly to a time and a place

Flashing back, to that perfect face
A playful smile you will never forget
The honest heart of your last regret
An ideal situation, some would say
Judged yourself and you walked away
A circumstance you left behind
Rarely ever crossing your mind

Until now.
You are taken aback by what you’ve heard,
but you can’t say a word.


Inhibited by the same weight of discretion.

Just as private as it was back then.

Age, and then distance, were both too far
You sullenly
remove your suit from the car
Knowing what no one else needs to know
That it’s far more respectful not to go
Keeping your distance is probably best
Questions to avoid in the eyes of the rest
Despite yourself, you know what to do
Closure is for the family, not for you

For now.
 You are constrained by the reasons why,
 so you cannot say good-bye.

 

IMG_20141103_124147[1]

A peculiar sensation of personal loss.
Over something you never really had.

Finding yourself alone with your despair

Few who could really understand or care
Absolutely no shame in what you feel

Convenient secrets, you chose to conceal
Fleeting memories, you fought to dismiss
Coming around, when it comes to this
A conscious grip on things back then
You have to confront those choices again

But now,
you need time and space with what you know.
 Because you have to let her go…
again.

 

Jump

 

                Jump

I clearly remember 
like it was yesterday.
You said “jump”
as plain as could be.
I stared down
as you looked up.
My one-plus year old
smiling at me.

With cautious hands
beneath your arms.
I lifted my little girl
from her little bed.
I laughed aloud
at my surprise.
“Of course you can”
was all I said.

Walking on air
to the end of the hall.
Down the stairs
to your favorite place.
Different this time
with that single word.
And the anxious look
on your one-plus face.

You seemed more eager
as I put you in.
The harness secure
under your tiny frame.
You immediately began
as I let you go.
I immediately knew
it would never be the same.

“Jump, jump, JUMP!”
as plain as could be.
Three more times
as you bounced and sat.
With no hesitation
and the proudest grin.
“Jump, jump, JUMP!”
just like that.

Astounded, I watched
and I intently listened.
My bouncing baby girl
and her happy word.
Up and down
and over and over.
The sweetest sound
that I had ever heard.

There may have been
a “mama” or a “dada”.
But nothing as perfect 
or with less doubt.
Other infant things
that infants say.
There must have been
but I’ve blocked them out.

I soaked it all in
and beamed with pride.
“She’s smart already
and athletic too!”
It occurred to me
on that glorious day.
And it’s the same now
when I think of you.

A vivid memory
about my first-born.
I tell it often
and I’m never bored.
This proud father,
who could also show you…
If he’d just grabbed his camera
and pressed ‘record’.

 

 

Transition

Pic3 for Alive

Transition


Driving along Highway 7

life occurs to me
back roads of memories
there within my reach

Faces, names and places
days and nights have been
notions, moments and emotions
those felt and those seen

Pausing for an instant
I stop and shut that door
open up another
to welcome in some more

Reminiscent smiles
spread across my face
leaving those memories
in their proper place

Refocus to the distance
search for what’s to be
where’s the next turn
what’s to come for me

Transition guides me on
roads yet to tread
journey of this life
with many curves ahead

Highway 7 possibilities
take me where you may
memories in my rear view
with more on the way

pic for Alive blog

ONCE (inspired by the movie of the same title)

I was fully prepared to fight an old battle
To retreat to the scene of my haunting past
Return to the root of this open wound
To the hollow heart of the one I loved last.
 
 Back to the city that ripped me down
Resolute and ready and wide awake
To prove that I am worthy to be with her
That her indiscretion was a huge mistake
 
 Despite my anger I need to impress
Despite myself I wanted her again
Songs about loss and desolate nights
My blind memories of how it was then
 
 I dream about only the good we had
In another time and in a different place
Yet my lyrics and I seem so alone
It’s how I remained until I saw your face
    And then you changed everything.
 
 Something feels wrong in all of that
Your reassurance has shown me a light
I seek your substance to feel more alive
Our thoughts connect and it all feels right
 
 I didn’t recognize the sensation at first
You seemed intrusive in your subtle way
You followed me home like a lost emotion
Then left me lonely when I asked you to stay
 
 Something in the way that you see me
Naïve and curious and interested and aware
Soaking me in with a wide-eyed thirst
Filling my senses with the words we share
 
 I found a generous family beside you
A humble and caring and warm place
With the sound of your voice next to mine
Strings and then keys in a selfless embrace
    And you changed everything.
 
 An ease to your ways that soothed my soul
Inspiring my pen and my fingers and me
Quiet indulgence as familiar as friends
As if we had known it was not meant to be
 
Parallel lines, never to cross
I can’t react because I can’t understand
Despite my impulse to enter your world
Reality has returned and he has your hand
 
 So it is time for us to move forward
Leave what we found with nothing to lose
I take a new strength found in our harmony
On to face circumstance and look for my muse
 
 I left a piece of my life in your hands
You touched my notes in the perfect place
I tried oh so hard not to stare or to cry
As you sang my words with innocent grace
    And you changed everything.
 
 
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