Applause

Applause

I’ve been here many times,
as their childhood has flown past

Sitting alone in the crowd
smiling, and having a blast
A proud, dedicated single parent
gathering memories that will last

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She weaves her way through a defense

that had previously refused to yield
Deft footwork and bursts of speed
guide her down the field
I spring from the edge of my seat
as a late victory is sealed

My legs, energized by her exploit
My lungs, filled with a rush of air
An abrupt acknowledgment of her endeavor
as I quickly rise up from my chair
Emphatic words in a father’s approval
ecstatic to be right there

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I see my teenage powerhouse
as she tumbles across the floor
A round-off and a back handspring
My gasp, and then a perfect two more
An exalted, frightening, wonderful feeling
that resonates to my core

My stomach, churning when she jumps
My heart, leaping when she lands
The uniquely exhilarating anguish
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put down the camera
to free up my hands

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The impetus for my applause
Feats that constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My two hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


It seems to me that it’s a graceful gazelle
that suddenly emerges from the pack
Anticipating the exact moment
from my spot along the track
As she glides around the final curve
the others get further and further back

My mind, racing with her to the finish
My senses, tingling from the start
The extent of her accomplishments
matching the size of her heart
Knowing the work ethic and the effort
that always set her apart

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Being early gets me a good seat
Dead center, given the chance
Oblivious of my surroundings
I listen to her play, I watch her dance
Happily lost, inside of myself
My own choice, my soul circumstance

My eyes, no matter what her stage
My ears, for any of the bands
The selfish, singular focus
that any parent understands
Proud, as I put the program down
to free up my hands

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The inspiration for my applause
Daughters who constantly astound
No urge to look beside me
No need to look around
My t
wo hands, together in the crowd
making their own sound


Sitting alone, in the crowd

as each new season has passed
Thankful for each new memory
as time ticks by so fast
Never wondering, or worrying,
if this one will be the last

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Ahead


Ahead

Looking only forward
To today
To every day
Without the ache
Without the affliction
With nothing in my way

I wake up now,
pain-free
No more agony
accompanying me
No more hesitation,
as I stand
I feel the fortitude
take my hand

With my chin up
and eyes straight ahead
I look past the pain,
that I used to dread 


Looking only forward

at work
at play
With no distress
With no distraction 
With nothing in my way

I face my tasks
head on
Finish the game,
soreness gone
More prepared,
increasingly strong
I feel a resilience
that pulls me along

With my hands steady
and my feet firm
I am fully prepared
for the long-term 


Looking only forward

in all I do
in all I say
With no adversity
With no apprehension
With nothing in my way

I can make plans 
worry free
None of the severity
hindering me
Completely focused
on come what may
I feel my optimism
leading the way

With my mind clear
and ambition alive
I am ahead of myself
when I arrive

Confined

“People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it.”
– Jim Morrison20150930_213223[1]

 Confined

He goes to bed each night
alone with the ache
 His internal conflict
keeping them both awake
Wakes up weary every morning
lying beside his vanity
With a smile for his children
and a check mark for his sanity

Physical versus mental
in a battle of his pain
Sensory and substantial
is the signal from his brain
From necessity and habit
you conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
with wounds that won’t heal

Scar tissue and time
The confines of the mind
Self-motivation
Self-preservation
Selfishly suppressing the pain
Scar tissue and time
A safe place to hide
He
fights the pain

His wounds remain
Sustaining himself from inside

An actor playing himself
in the true story of he
Absorbed in the role of everyman
and that’s who he has to be

Scripted by circumstance
he has lines on every page
Penned for his own purposes
he is resplendent on his stage

 
A song written in his head
but needed by his heart

Lyrics intended for healing
they’re upbeat from the start
Motivation for mind and body
 Affected, but indeed sincere
He gives a selfless performance
for everyone to hear

Scar tissue and time
The complexities of the mind
Self-medication
Self-preservation
Selfishly deflecting the pain
Scar tissue and time
Enduring another day
Different roots of pain

No Ledger or Cobain
Determined to go another way

Scar tissue and time
You conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
When wounds never heal

Scar tissue and time
In the confines of your mind
You ascend another day
Starting from behind

 

Glass


      GlassIMG_20150514_155248[1]

Sun through glass
filtered by tree
Silent and still
awakening me
Lift up my eyes
morning anew
Curtains left open
enhancing the view

IMG_20150514_152956[1]Half-empty glass
poured for me
Pills and capsules
numbering three
Medicinal relief
no other way
Medicinal haze
engulfing my day

Water like glassIMG_20150514_153257[1]
shadowed by trees
Calm and complacent
awaiting the breeze
Breath of fresh air
comes out to play
Rippled tranquility
enlivening the bay


Half-full glassIMG_20150514_163720[1]

poured for me
Brother and friend
patient makes three
Medicinal release
freedom and fun
Prescription fulfilled
envisioning the sun

Commute

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Commute

Car acoustics
take me away
The soundtrack
to another day
Open road
An open mind
Work in front of me
then left behind


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To and from 
The same routine
So I prepare myself
for the time between
Beyond the stop lights
I begin my day
New music loaded
and I press play

This familiar highway
Sets the scene

For rhythmic places
I’ve never been
Alone with an artist
I’ve just met
Reality
on the horizon
but not yet

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 Car stereo
An hour each way
The soundtrack
The tone of my day
Mental preparation
for come what may
A mindful escape
Just press play

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Commute enhanced
by drums and guitar
Outside of myself
inside of my car
On my own
with whomever I choose
Lost in the lyrics
I never lose

 Delving into the unknown
alters my view
The same drive
yet something new
Enraptured escape
in tunes sublime
Nothing in front of me
except the time

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Car stereo
The cerebral way
The soundtrack

The refrain of my day
To different places
I can get away
I strap myself in

and I hit play

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