Unintended
A reminder, that dug deep into my heart.
Seemingly unintended, yet sharply unkind.
So, I let it slide back, to that place inside.
To be stored again, on the edge of my mind.
Subtle and unintentional. Cruelly unnecessary.
A mention of things that I am well aware
Slid out to me, with an unknown intent
Such a sad reminder, so doubly unfair
I could only assume that you were unaware
So, I closed the door, and locked out the bad
Spent a moment alone, in your bathroom mirror
Emerged with a smile. And without the mad.
Yet, I can’t even fathom why you said what you said
And I am positive that you don’t even know
On any other, more certain night
My first instinct would have told me to go
But, I wouldn’t have.
This has little bearing on the respect that I have.
Typically, thoughtful, in most you say and most you do.
It’s more a self-analysis, of my coping skills.
Ninety-eight percent about me, and only a bit about you.
A reminder, that I didn’t need to hear.
About something that I can’t control.
A reality, always on the edge of my mind.
An unintended reminder of my limited role.
This is not the first time that I have felt this way
And, certainly, it will not to be the last
Such painful reminders feel doubly unfair
Unintended entendre, of both present and past
Of circumstances, that I can barely grasp
Choices, life’s evolution, and some of my fears
Set situations, that are beyond my reach
Reluctant adjustments made over the years
Yet, just as I find a semblance of acceptance
There it is, pushed out at me all over again
To be pulled back inside, in one irreverent moment
Me, not certain why. You, not knowing when.
But, how could you?
A harsh reminder, not converted into harsh words.
Despite thinking that someone else would.
Remembering, ironically, something you’d said.
About our ninety-eight percent, that is very good.
I wanted, intently, to discuss it with you then.
But it seemed somehow misplaced in the dark of your view.
So, I kept it inside. Until I could write it, instead.
From the edge of my mind, like I always do.
