Grey


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Grey

Certainly not what I expected
when I looked anxiously to today
Distractions and detours
Delay after delay
Nothing like I had envisioned
No how.  No way.
A reluctant change of course
Navigating the grey

A wall of grey uncertainty
between you and your goal
A hard place, and a rock
w
hen you’re ready to roll
An unexpected wait
A mirage of elusive control
Asking such a small price
Just patience for your toll

Inside the grey uncertainty
t
ime stands painfully still
Between situation and explanation
Just be calm.  Just remain chill.
Between exasperation and exhaustion
Exhale, slowly, and swallow the pill
In the grey of the uncertainty
c
ome what may, inevitably will


Definitely not what I wanted
when I looked forward to tonight
Dissention and distance
Wrong versus right
Nothing like I had envisioned
On my mind. Out of sight.
The tone of grey reaction
Neither black nor white

Toiling in the grey unknown
of a lost night out
In the variable and the vague
is the unseen and the doubt
A question is the answer
When silence is a shout
Look to the big picture
Just relax, and wait it out

Inside the grey unknown
b
eing oblivious can be a roll of the dice
Between interpretation and explanation

Just be understanding. Just be nice.
Between selfish and self-preservation
Do not make the same mistake twice

In the grey of the unknown
u
npaid attention has no actual price


Trapped, within the nowhere near

of where I want my thoughts to be
Distracted and dismayed
My time feels far from free
Nothing like I had envisioned
Awaiting words. A wait and see.
The quiet of the gray
Speaks volumes to me

Staring into the grey silence
of a blank refreshed screen
Checking in after every chapter
like a procrastinating teen
Those certain expectations
The how it’s always been
Confined inside your cellular
Just swipe the slate clean

Inside that grey silence
unrealistic standards are the cage
So make the necessary adjustments
Just turn it off.  Just act your age.
Leave the drama for the characters
Leave the scenes for some stage
In the grey of the silence
you can always
turn the page


Convinced that I am ever-evolving,
I look optimistically ahead
Detraction and reaction
Saying the unsaid
As far, and as much, as I can envision
Also, and more so.  Instead of instead
Negotiating the grey
Whenever I am seeing red

Coping within the grey areas
of our everyday race
With road blocks personified
An invasion of personal space
A barrage of harsh mentality
The reality of commonplace
The simplest of solutions
Just choose dignity, and grace

In the grey of the grey areas
doom and gloom are never much fun
Between frustration and explanation
Just be positive. Be the stronger one.
Between excuses and excusing
You know what needs to be done
Even in the greyest of the grey
rose-coloured glasses will let in the sun

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Kris

Sometimes we let life get in the way of the simple but important things…like friendships. I made a promise to myself to never feel the sting of such regret again.
It hurts too much.

                         Kris
Woke up to a beautiful morning    20180308_083200
with nothing but sky and blue
The sun graciously greeted me
and I immediately thought of you

I thought about these past two years
mortality, and time, weighing on my mind
I thought about losing touch with friends
and wishing that I could rewind


To a deck chair on a porch

and a cold pint in my hand
To a conversation we once had
while listening to my favourite band

“I appreciate their talent”, you said,
as you tried to give it a chance.
But when it came right down to it,
“it just doesn’t make me dance.”

“What’s the point of music, you asked,
unless it brings you to your feet?
It has to have danceable lyrics.
And where’s the danceable beat?!”

And to emphasize your point
you attempted to dance along
But “the guitar was too heavy,
and the rhythm was all wrong.”

This didn’t slow you down though
and you improvised some moves
Then you dropped your pint onto the deck
and it spilled between the grooves

The whole situation seemed hilarious
and we laughed until we were both flush
I blamed it on your dancing
while you blamed it on RUSH

This became an ongoing theme
whenever we got together
Lousy food was because of RUSH
and so was lousy weather


Which brings me back to this morning

to the sun and a sky so blue
Time and mortality on my mind
and to fond memories of you

You always had a unique perspective
a contagious smile and a playful grin
But you also had so much more
and it all came from within

A huge heart for everyone
and an ease to your ways
I just wish we’d kept in touch
and could share more sunny days

Miss ya big guy…you were one of a kind.

Gary
May 8, 2014

INITIATIVE

                 

                 Initiativeone way

I sit alone in my wondering
and it clouds my mind

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Affection leads to affected,
when it only goes one way.

You put your gloved hand on
top of my knee
Reminding me of just how rare
that seems to be
Unknowing likely, perhaps
but noticeable to me

Alone behind a curtain of
sheer connotation
The way we should feel, belies
this sensation
Therein lies the rub, of our
unique situation

It distracts me from my ease,
as such
A simple gesture found within
a simple touch
And I don’t believe that it is really
asking
too much

I hold all of the initiative
and it bruises my heart

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Lonely leads to lonesome,
when it only goes one way.

A man should never talk about
such trivial things
The importance of touch, and all
that it brings
Or the way that the lack of it
sometimes stings

There are those who feel the same, I
would guess
It may seem absurd to others, who
need far less
But contact comforts me thoroughly, I
must confess

It does distract me from my ease,
as such
Our house is only so big, yet are insticts
seldom touch
And constantly reaching out to you, feels
like too muchimagesM5E0G21W

I grow weary of the initiative
and find myself hesitating

Nurture may not be your nature,
but there is something I should say.
Distant leads to distance,
when it only goes one way.

Companionship keeps me close, when
push comes to shove
I don’t doubt your sincerity or question

your love
And I do realize that it is your hand
inside that glove

I wish it didn’t matter to me,
but it just does.

I am preoccupied with the initiative.
Is it is just me?

 

Wait


“Waiting makes wine better; but waiting makes man decay ”
                                                                            (
Mehmet Murat Ildan)


                               Wait

Circumstance beyond our control
Having done more than our partIMG_20141017_152545
Biding our time in compromise
While life waits for us to start

The pace of things has slowed
Life crawls along these days
Like a clock without a minute hand
An ocean with no waves
Like a recluse with amnesia
One lane, that goes both ways

Life is waiting for us to make our move
Suspended in a state of just because
Like a transitory holding pattern
Biding our time, in persistent pause


It seems less about the living

When we do nothing but wait
Slowed up by stubborn time
Stuck behind a broken gate

Plans we’ve made have stalled
The situation has put our lives on holdIMG_20141017_152754
Like a computer needing to reboot
An engine that is too cold
Like a chess player without a move
A story, that yearns to be told

Life is waiting for us to get on with it
Caught in the clutches of just because
Like a promise with blurred hope
Biding our time, in a hazy fuzz


A story we’ll have, about our endurance

A lesson of patience wearing thin
As time stretches out endlessly
Waiting for the next chapter to begin

Carrying restlessness around
The burden of a life yet to know
Like a suit case full of sand
A tree laden with snow
Like a poet with a heavy heart
A moving truck, with nowhere to go

Life coerces us to bear this load
Disregard the weight of just because
Like expectations that are worth the wait
We will bide our time, because life doesIMG_20141017_174041


 

  

                                           

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