Grey


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Grey

Certainly not what I expected
when I looked anxiously to today
Distractions and detours
Delay after delay
Nothing like I had envisioned
No how.  No way.
A reluctant change of course
Navigating the grey

A wall of grey uncertainty
between you and your goal
A hard place, and a rock
w
hen you’re ready to roll
An unexpected wait
A mirage of elusive control
Asking such a small price
Just patience for your toll

Inside the grey uncertainty
t
ime stands painfully still
Between situation and explanation
Just be calm.  Just remain chill.
Between exasperation and exhaustion
Exhale, slowly, and swallow the pill
In the grey of the uncertainty
c
ome what may, inevitably will


Definitely not what I wanted
when I looked forward to tonight
Dissention and distance
Wrong versus right
Nothing like I had envisioned
On my mind. Out of sight.
The tone of grey reaction
Neither black nor white

Toiling in the grey unknown
of a lost night out
In the variable and the vague
is the unseen and the doubt
A question is the answer
When silence is a shout
Look to the big picture
Just relax, and wait it out

Inside the grey unknown
b
eing oblivious can be a roll of the dice
Between interpretation and explanation

Just be understanding. Just be nice.
Between selfish and self-preservation
Do not make the same mistake twice

In the grey of the unknown
u
npaid attention has no actual price


Trapped, within the nowhere near

of where I want my thoughts to be
Distracted and dismayed
My time feels far from free
Nothing like I had envisioned
Awaiting words. A wait and see.
The quiet of the gray
Speaks volumes to me

Staring into the grey silence
of a blank refreshed screen
Checking in after every chapter
like a procrastinating teen
Those certain expectations
The how it’s always been
Confined inside your cellular
Just swipe the slate clean

Inside that grey silence
unrealistic standards are the cage
So make the necessary adjustments
Just turn it off.  Just act your age.
Leave the drama for the characters
Leave the scenes for some stage
In the grey of the silence
you can always
turn the page


Convinced that I am ever-evolving,
I look optimistically ahead
Detraction and reaction
Saying the unsaid
As far, and as much, as I can envision
Also, and more so.  Instead of instead
Negotiating the grey
Whenever I am seeing red

Coping within the grey areas
of our everyday race
With road blocks personified
An invasion of personal space
A barrage of harsh mentality
The reality of commonplace
The simplest of solutions
Just choose dignity, and grace

In the grey of the grey areas
doom and gloom are never much fun
Between frustration and explanation
Just be positive. Be the stronger one.
Between excuses and excusing
You know what needs to be done
Even in the greyest of the grey
rose-coloured glasses will let in the sun

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Ascend

ASCEND
I thought that I was strong

and focused
and wise
Then pain came along
and clouded my eyes
Feb. 3rd.
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Physical pain
with its fists
with its knife
The singular beat downs
and the double life

Bravely buried face
belying its agony
denying its control
Digging myself deeper
into a cavernous hole

Psychological pain
with its depression
with its doubt
The sinking in
and the lashing out

Dirty dark delusion
outside of my head
inside of my gut
The filthy depths
of my rotted rut

Emotional pain
with its superiority
with its second face
The nightly bring downs
putting me in my place

Soiled sullen eyes
unable to sleep
unwilling to see
The smudge of support
lying with me


I thought that I was alone

with my pain
and my compromise

Then healing arrived
to lift up my eyes
Sun for Every

Holistic healing
with healthier habits

without the medication
A stairway between me
and my situation

Patience plus purpose
in a manner of time
and a matter of space
An unobstructed view
from a loftier place

Professional healing
with nothing to lose
with everything to gain
A lucid escape
from my pit of pain

Calm cleansing clarity
sure answers
assured absolution
A clean break
from all of the pollution

My healing family
all of the conversations
none of the demanding

A tower of compassion
and understanding

Brightened blue eyes
able to dream
ascending to see
A horizon of hope
in front of me

 

Stars

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Stars

Hand in hand,
  slow walk to town
  Table
for two
The perfect way
to end the day
Me
and you

Late August sky,
 without a moon
Cloudless
and clear
 A black canvas
The milky way
Far
and near 

Strolling home,
guided by the stars
Light
and space
 Calm anticipation
 The night is ours
Time
and place

Side by side,
looking to that sky
Contentment
and love
A natural repose
all around us

Inside
and above

The hour late,
we lie awake
Quiet
and reflective

This peaceful night
speaks for itself
Interstellar
and introspective

Under the stars,
slowly winding down
Tranquility
for two
The perfect way
to end this day
Me
and you


Solitude

          tears bench
Solitude

 I choose time alone
when I simply want to be
nearer to myself
 my solitude and me

A discreet place to revitalize my mind
Leaving the mess of the world behind
Discovery within my solitary den
Deciding where and how and when
Choosing to get lost, in order to find
A matter of self-reflection, that’s undefined
A substance of silence that finds my pen
Feelings are sought and selected again

Paper and pen for SURE
I need to escape
to where I should be
closer to myself
 my solitude and me

Sometimes separation is a necessary place
Withdrawing my emotions at my own pace
Safer within my sole situation
Restrained inside my contemplation
Choosing to retreat, to my own space
Saving my words, while saving face
Distancing myself from temptation
Separating sense from sensation

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I seek out true serenity
  comfort in where I will be
right there beside myself
 my solitude and me

A secluded place where my soul can stay
Understanding the world, by turning away
Immersed within my distinct seclusion
Savoring quality time without intrusion
Choosing the hours, from day to day
 To do my own thing, in my own way
Lured by a tranquility that’s paper thin
My particular private selfish place within

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I choose this time alone

so I can just be
content with myself
 my solitude, and me

This peaceful place where I have grown
Recognizing the richness of self-unknown
Perception within my mind’s eye
Seeing the strength and knowing why
Choosing to internalize, on my own
Joined by my thoughts, I am never alone
 Together we laugh, we learn, we try
Finding perspective with myself and I

 

black and white piano

HEAR

HEAR

It’s about trust

Take me on my word.
Have I ever lied to you?

No lines for you
to read between.
I mean everything
that I say
I say everything
that I mean


It’s about space

It is okay to need solitude.
Can I not be alone with my thoughts?

No other way for me
to figure it out.
Sometimes, it is about 
just me
And just me
that it’s all about


It’s about clarity

I know how I am feeling.
What reason would I have to lie?

No hidden agenda for you
to uncover.
I did love her,
back then
But then,
I didn’t love her

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It’s about time

Every day adds to what has passed.
Why can’t you let it go too?

No reasons for you
to not move on.
Been gone for
so long
That it is
so long gone


It is about now

We have to trust in the big picture.
Put space between us and the past.

No words that I say 
can make it more clear
Here and now is the 
time for you 
And now is the time 
for you to hear

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