Drained


20190118_133629
Drained


Life asked too much of me today…

When I finally did sit down,
in silent exhaustion
the whole of me was aching,
inside and out
My determination had been battered
And my will was strewn about
The voice of all of my frustrations
left
too tired to shout

I had been drained by the day,
feeling tattered and torn
This day, took everything I had
And then greedily wanted more
My heart, left clinging to my sleeve
My soul, scattered on the floor

Endless hours, of one after another,
constantly knocking on my door

Yet, there was a calming sense of relief
A satisfaction of accomplishment
For having passed each test,
on the worst ‘just one of those days’
I rose up to every harsh challenge
I chose
all of the appropriate plays
I was exhausted, yet extremely alive,
proud of my self-sustaining ways

Life asked too much of me today…

Summoning everything that I had,
I found more than I knew I had to give
On days like these, we don’t get to choose
the life that we have to live

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File

File

Two steps forward, and one and a half back
This weary ascent, up my mental list
The more skewed the priorities, the more I lack
Still a half step behind what I can’t resist

I am preoccupied, with so many loose ends
What little time, spent reeling them in
With eyes wide, to avoid common friends
Leery, that your patience is wearing thin

It’s my quiet burden, this selective secret
Lines of inconvenience, thickening a folder
Life evolves, while I struggle to keep it
As the new, and good, look over my shoulder

All the transitional turmoil, single spaced
A ledger of my worries, my personal file
A test of your resolve, stacked with my haste
Noted, then placed, at the bottom of the pile

We will rise, when I am free, from all of this
When I can share myself,  fully, with you
This promise, an asterisk, and a kiss
For now, these, are the best I can do

Picture2

Resolve

wordle
Resolve

When you feel like you’re fading
it keeps you strong
When pushed to your limits
it pulls you along
When the daily grind tests you
it answers the call
When you need to have structure
it provides a wall

When life seems like a puzzle
too difficult to solve
Search within yourself
and you will find your resolve

It’s the ability to deal
when you need to cope
When your ambition wavers
it gives you hope
It’s that extra drive
when you’re tempted to coast
The competitive edge
when you need it the most

When doubts creep in
it is never too far
Your resolve enables you
It’s there where you are

Your resolve lifts you up
whenever you dip
It brings you back
when you start to slip
When you are feeling lost
you will find your way
When someone needs you
you’ll be there to stay

It gives you courage
when you dig down deep
Summon your resolve

and take that leap

When aches and pains
stand in your way
You build up your resolve
and get through the day
When life brings you stress
and you’d rather hide
Your resolve teams up
with your innate pride

You may surprise yourself
with all that you find
An inner well of resilience
  lifting matter over mind
An array of capabilities
A reserve of your strength
A measure of flexibility
you stretch to your length

Your resolve will guide you
toward your loftiest goal
It is right there inside you…
It’s your heart, it’s your soul

Inevitable


Inevitability

is a crutch.
Bracing us
for a life event 
that will hurt
so much.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitably,
at that moment,
we will feel alone.


An unavoidable test.

Right nor wrong.
Facing
a harsh reality
that will
come along.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitably,
and eventually
we lose our own.

tears bench


Inevitability
is a balm.
Easing

our sorrow.
Palliative
and calm.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitability,
comfort in knowing
that we are not alone.


Certainty arrives.

 It always does.
Focus
on
the memories.
The reassurance
of what was.

Parents will pass.
This is known.

Inevitability,
a life, a legacy…
inevitably
etched in stone.

20170609_114735[1]

Fresh

 

ski hill
hockey ice

 

 

 

                                                        
FRESH

Glistening with your fresh layer
Aglow with the sheen of possibility
Breathtakingly still,  frozen in time
A unique, silent sense of your nobility
Your clean sheet, your slippery slope
Inclined to test our strength and agility
Prepared for our speed and our edges
Waiting for the best of our ability

The purity of new ice, of fresh snow.
The sheer excitement of…you never know.

calabogie snow

.

Disheartened

door

Disheartened


His mind was clearly made up

discussion was getting nowhere
I watched as he sunk down
slouching lower in his chair
I could see it in his eyes
that blank, empty stare
It was clear he’d had enough
and his reasoning seemed fair
Other things to occupy his time
what little time he could spare
It was a shame to see it end
a talent like his was rare
But when you lose that desire
 it becomes too much to bear
Your heart just isn’t in it…
and you just don’t care.

Your heart prevents you from going
though you know that you should
 It’s a time induced reality
 and no time ever seems good
You decide you’ve had enough
before you thought you would…

Because your heart just isn’t in it.

 

The relationship was trying
and he had no desire to try
Constantly testing his resolve
with your wandering eye
  Your self-confidence crutch
  and he was just not that guy
  He wouldn’t indulge you in your games
  Couldn’t be bothered to reply
 When you had nothing good to say
and everything else was a lie
  Thought that he would love you
until the day that he died
But you had worn him down
  and it was time to say good-bye.
  His heart just wasn’t in it…
and you were the reason why.

When other lives are affected
no time is ever good
You hesitate to leave
but know that you should
Feeling more like a failure
than you ever thought you could…

When your heart just isn’t in it.

 

You feel a sharp pain in your arm
like getting shot with a gun
  Remembering that just last week
you had pain in the other one
You’ve lost your motivation
  preparation is no longer fun
Spend less time in the gym
 reduce your training to none
Spend more time with your family
be able to play catch with your son
You know you’ve taken your last shot

that you’ve scored your last run
Realize it’s time to hang them up
your final game has been won.
Your heart just isn’t in it…

and you know that you are done.

Repetition has worn you down
to a level below where you stood
Your motor has lost its drive
nothing left under the hood
So sure that you would do it
until your body no longer could…

But your heart just isn’t in it
And that never feels good.

Life happens to us all
that’s just how it goes
Seldom does it make sense
yet, the heart just knows.

 

 

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