Idyllic

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Idyllic
(11D II)

The water soothes me here
Shallow waves across my chest
Finding exactly what my body needs
Peace.   Quiet.   And blissful rest.
Weary bones, and years
A toll. Hard work. The grind.
The soft caress of the lake
Ease, washing through my mind
 
Serenity surrounds me here 
Skyward trees in sun’s first light
Glimmers and shimmers of reflection
Peace.   On my mind.   And in my sight.
Out of touch, getting back in touch
No traffic.  No bother.  Never a text.
Time, drifting into perfect time

Every hour, gently touching the next

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Alone here, together with you
Twice enough to go around
Contently sharing this idyllic place
Peace.   Moments.   Every subtle sound.
Soaking all of it in, breathing slowly out
Stress. Tension.   An exhale away.
Peace.   In warm air.   On sunshine
Our night, just a breeze from today

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Uncertain

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Uncertain

In no uncertain terms
these uncertain times
exact a daily toll
Consigned to our reality
Confined to our home
Cavernous, in our hole…

The disdain of the social media
The refrain of the incessant news
Trudeau’s late morning assurances
Trump’s daily need to accuse
Portals to the vital information
Privy to all the points and views
Small screens or the big screen
Two for my one. One for my twos

So much that I have to believe
With so little I have to choose

Twenty four, gone just like that
Stuck at home, paying hour dues
Any time, less than well spent
is more that I will lose

 

Numbers that continually climb
The mountain exceedingly steep
Information about our situation
Piled onto, and into, the heap
Unsure of exactly how to react
Dangerous to relax. Dire enough to weep
Life burrowed. And lives buried
Lost and lonely in the deep

Choices, and musts, and maybes,
sown by what we reap

Restless, on same sorry nights
Tempted to pour my self to sleep
Waking to the same exhaustion
With no appointments to keep

 

In no uncertain terms
these uncertain times
test our resolve
The tenuous balance
The strenuous times
The few we can involve…

Sitting with the same three people
So strangely out of whack
A picking and choosing of persons
Separating them from the pack
Getting together with friends, sort of
Grainy and intermittent as we yak
Me, Skyping on my Samsung
She, Zooming on her Mac

Small relief, virtually compensating
for the contact that we lack

Stuck inside, inside my head
A smothering, closed-in panic attack
A forty minute escape on foot
to the grocery store and back

 

More word games on my phone
with another temporary friend
Wearing out my headphones
Replacing another pen
Staying up late with a movie
Staying in bed until ten
Back to yesterday’s puzzle
Then another. Because I can

Nothing seems to matter much
when it doesn’t matter when

When anywhere I choose to go
is where I’ve recently been
It’s the same day as yesterday
All over again

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In these uncertain times
We must look to the certain things
Voices and faces. Warm and safe places
Music and memories. A lyric that one sings
We must absorb all of the sensations
Even when the situation stings
Bask in the perfection of a complete silence
The anticipation, when the phone rings

While we are captive in our own castles
we are still the queens and kings

We need to absorb every day importance
To see and hear when reality dings
Finding the words and feeling the thoughts
Any comfort that familiar brings

 

I am required to switch my focus
To forge ahead in this lonely role
Accomplish something, anything, for me
Feed and fill my hungry soul
To live life as it is, in the here and now
In the circumstance, within my control
I’m not allowed to live it to the fullest
Making more of less is my modest goal

Regaining my composure and perspective
Some of what this pandemic stole

Raising my head, my eyes, my heart
Extracting myself from the mounting toll
Wanting to live while waiting to leave
Up and over, and out of this hole

 

In these uncertain times
In no uncertain terms

Consumed

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We all have our present,
and our afters,
and our befores
And, right now,
all of my tenses,
are consumed by yours…


I wake up this morning,
and she is here,
and so am I
Her head comes to rest
on my contented chest
as it breathes a sigh
She slides out of bed
and opens up the blinds
to nothing but blue sky
To time, taken for granted,
as each next day
cruises on by

Then, suddenly, my thoughts turn
To the sad and horrific news
the two of you have shared
Like a sharp slap in the face,
I am now thoroughly awake
I feel trapped, and ensnared
I am jolted to the core
by your worst nightmare
And I am truly scared
I am terrified and consumed
by you just never know
And, of course, am unprepared

I am overcome, knowing,
that our every days
can change just like that
Realizing, that our tomorrows
could be suddenly lost
in the drop of a hat
Overcome knowing, at any moment,
the momentum of a life
can fall suddenly flat
As I realize all of this,
I look helplessly toward her,
 shaken by all of that

So I take her in my arms…
just to have her there


My daughter says good-bye,

on a Sunday,
and I wipe away a tear
Spoiled, as I was,
for the eleven weeks
I had her so near
My mind wanders,
to what awaits
for another school year
And to all of those things
I took for granted
while she was here

Then, my thoughts leap,
in an instant,
back to the two of you
I am emotionally assaulted
by the brutal realities
of all you are going through
Struck, by the cruel circumstance
that life can afflict
with barely a clue
Consumed, by helpless fear and anger
By the vast uncertainty
And by the blatantly true

I am overcome, knowing,
that delicate balance
of our hopes and our dreams
Realizing, our tenuous reality
is seldom as certain
as it sometimes seems
Overcome, knowing,
life can take a terrible turn
despite our grandest schemes
I realize, with cold certainty,
we are helpless to the course
of what destiny deems

So I call my daughter…
just to hear her voice

We all are at the mercy
of what life takes,
and what life brings
And, right now,
I am consumed, knowing,
that it takes many things.

Alpengruss

Alpengruss

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A breath of cool winter
appears without a sound
A dusting of early December snow
lying gently on the ground
A warm sense of adventure
as Friday noon rolls around
Work and tire tracks behind us
We are weekend bound

Timing is everything
That’s what they say
And the timing is perfect
for us to get away


I look your way with a sigh
as it all settles inside of me
Another city in two hours
Another state of mind in three
Realization and relaxation
and the place I want to be
My left hand on the wheel
The right one on your knee

Savoring the little things
And all that they say
These times of our life
set apart from everyday


A sensory scenic drive together
through the Québec countryside
Each skyward snow-dressed pine
our majestic glistening guide
Sun and blue skies lie ahead of us
The season’s true nature belied
Comfort and warmth between us
Anticipation along for the ride

Time touches our hearts
With words we need not say
All ours when we get there
Until then it leads the way


Autoroute 5 winds us to two rivers
To w
here the Gatineau meets La Pêche
I open the vents to feel the essence
and the crispness meets my flesh
Slowly through the welcoming village
 Where, once again, the path seems fresh
To our little slice of perfect harmony
W
here the music and memories mesh

Spending this quality time
We are doing what we say
Gathering and saving moments
that are always here to stay

No one is in the office
Like the last time, and the time before
Just a friendly note, and reminder,
to say our key is in the door
The refreshing air of familiarity
as we ascend to the second floor
Number 14 had been awaiting us
We were bound to return for more  

Dancer

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Dancer
I remember my laughter
I remember your enthusiasm
So energetic. So petite.
My great big smile
Your great big heart
Your little arms. Your little feet.

Your little legs
Your little steps
Your little mistakes.
The precious years
The countless lessons
The time it takes.

And I wouldn’t change any of it
for the world…

Watching you jump
Watching you twirl
My little dancer
My little girl


I think about my pride

I think about your progress
So precise. So sure.
My complete awe
Your perfect performance
So professional. So mature.

So much practice
So much commitment
So much that it takes.
The exams and recitals
The many life lessons
The memories that it makes.

And I couldn’t be more impressed
by all I’ve seen…

Watching you leap
Watching you whirl
My talented daughter
My little girl

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Comeback

close up photography of four baseballs on green lawn grasses

Comeback

I’m picturing one of them reclined in his chair,

and the other one sitting on the couch
One with his slippered feet up, and a beer
One with a glass of pop, and a comfortable slouch

Both men wear their casual pants and golf shirts,
and both have intentionally short, completely gray hair
There’s a Jays game on, in the top of the eighth,
and a bowl of peanuts, that both of them share

I can hear their commentary after a pivotal play
Sharp criticism of the base-runner’s choices
Knowledgeable experience that fills their words,
And a youthful exuberance that joins their voices

The subtle jabs of friends are parlayed back and forth
Each ready for a comeback, as the other one slyly talks
“What could an old curler possibly know about baseball”
“You must’ve taken too many blows whenever you’d box”

The spirited rant transitions naturally during a commercial,
away from the second baseman and his prolonged slump
It turns seamlessly back to differing opinions of Trudeau,
and a sarcastically disdain-filled consensus on Trump

You would never know that they were fairly new friends
with the familiarity and the intensity of all they discuss
You wouldn’t suspect that they had met in their eighties
That they’d only met in this last year, and because of us

Their furrowed brows ease back into a playful twinkle
as their jostling conversation becomes their laughter
With a one-run deficit, in the bottom of the eighth,
they’ll find plenty of time for their wisdom, after

I see your father, reaching for the last of the peanuts,
then he pauses, and passes them to my dad instead
I see them sit up straight, suddenly, together in unison,
as a loud two-run homer puts their Jays ahead


I think about them often, when I watch with you

Whatever the sport, and whatever the season
Life has a way of putting good people together
And we are good people, for an obvious reason

11D

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11D
Yesterday rests

just beyond the horizon
as shimmering shadows
reach down from the sky
A gentle splash of waves
caresses the shore
as the sunlight dances
for just you and I

There are only two of us
that matter today
The rest of the world
was left behind
We share the solitude
of the open water
And the possibilities
of an open mind

The cool lake
rests against my skin
as the mid-day sun
reaches down to my face
The touch of your hand
caresses my senses
At the perfect time
In a perfect place

There is only the now
and only the here
A piece of paradise
for you and for me
We share in the pleasures
of Frontenac Park
In the possibilities
of 11D

Grad

Grad
Between the chatter
and the applause,
the auditorium
could not be louder
Between a father
and his daughter,
this father
could not be prouder

Time stands still for me,
for these few seconds,
as you finally reach
the end of the aisle
These last four years
caught in your eyes
And seventeen plus
captured in your smile

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You worked very hard,

for this accomplishment,
as you endeavoured
to find your way
Culminating now,
in an instant,
with your honours,
on this very special day

It’s just the two of us,
together in this moment
The noise is gone
and so is the crowd
Between a father
and his daughter,
this father,
could not be more proud.

Realize

REALIZE


If only
I could slow time down
If only I could
If only
I could control time
If only…
I would

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I take some time

to rummage through my past.
I laugh, I tear up. I realize.
Even the best of things,
don’t always last.
This life keeps moving on.
And precious time
keeps rolling by too fast.

I realize that
much of this life is fleeting.
A day, a night, an instant.
Much of what we had, or did,
is never repeating.
Each moment flashes before me.
And yet, my wondrous heart
keeps beating

I realize all I’ve still got,
with all that’s come and gone.
My health, my home, my hopes.
All the moves of a life,
in a life that moves on.
My present, and my past.
And every fresh new day
that brings a new dawn.

I don’t have to be religious
to count my blessings
I don’t have to be a genius
to be wise
To make some time
To take my time
For me to realize
My life constantly evolves,
and so do I
And this fleeting time,
can still be,
a blessing in disguise

 

 

I look up to my wall
and I am motivated by all I see.
My daughters. My smile. My love. 
The verification of a life
still so important to me.
Flesh and blood purpose.
My inspiration to strive
and my reasons to be.

I realize that
life gives me more than I take.
Memories and moments. And time.
Precious and valuable time.
For living, and for living’s sake.
I just have to look around to know.
Every single picture that I see
is a gift it took time to make.

I realize how much love I have,
and how much love I share.
Family and friends. And more.
My romantic relationship,
and the burgeoning love I find there.
My present is my future.
And, between time and my motivation,
it could take me anywhere.


I don’t have to be alone
to search inside myself
I don’t have to be an optimist
to see all that is good
I keep looking up, and back
I keep looking ahead
And I know that I should
I find so many reasons,
all around me
And I take my time
to take in the time…
like I hoped I could


I am at peace with my time,

because now I realize…I know.
Tomorrows, yesterdays, and todays,
the times I will best remember,
seldom arrive in a row.
These are the treasures of my life.
And my collection of times
continues to grow.

Lu

Lu
I have tried to put myself where you are
To imagine how all of this must make you feel.
To imagine all you must be thinking
as you sit down, with us, to share in a meal.
When something as vital as all of this,
questions you’ve carried and could no longer conceal,
becomes something now that actually is.
Something uncertain, that is suddenly real.
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Unanswered questions, so near to your life
The persistent glimmer, as you have grown
Many thought-filled nights, lying in bed,
with a glimpse of the truth, beside an unknown
All of the trappings of everyday normalcy,
family and friends and the seeds you have sewn
Childhood innocence, and then adolescence
An adult, then a mom, with a family of your own

Ongoing years, learning a little at a time
Altered details of who you had hoped to meet
Your husband’s hand, and love and support,
and a wondering heart’s determined beat
Through family trees, into family histories
From informative emails to a signature on a sheet
Back and forth, and around and around,
until your elusive circle is near to complete

In the comfort of somewhere that feels familiar
Together, at long last, on the Huron shore
On a Wednesday in May, at a Goderich gathering,
of open minds, through an open door
With all of your rights, and your revelations,
and all the years that were too much to ignore
After all of the clues, and then the confirmation,
you finally catch up to all that came before

Along with all of the realities of a good life to here,
there is the calm in knowing you have even more.

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We sincerely hope this all feels completely real.
And that we have helped to make it easier for you.
We also look forward to our next time together,
whenever that may be, whatever we may do.
And I think that I can speak for all of us,
for your extra, additional family…and for our mother too,
when I say that whatever your life’s wishes are,
we hope that at least one of them has now come true.

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