Limbo

“As much as I’ve always been driven creatively to move forward toward something bigger, brighter, and unknown, I’m also a deeply-rooted nostalgic. I adore photos, mementos, all bits of ephemera that represent each and every time and space I traverse. I’m a hoarder when it comes to these things…
A flood of memories wash over me when I find these treasures, all of them new again, focused by the perspective I’ve gained in the years since. It’s a beautiful kind of limbo, seeing yourself, your past alongside your present…”
-Mick Fleetwood from Play On…Now, Then, And Fleetwood Mac The Autobiography-

   20160922_1253021
Limbo
There I am, sitting on the couch

Looking as content as I can be
But what makes me smile now
Are the faces of the other three
Friendships, made in a flash
Cultivated with laughter, and cold beers
The time of my life, so many times
Great nights, that turned into years

Sometimes I sit with a lost friend
If only for a brief while
I gaze into her playful green eyes
I remember his reluctant smile
Realize just how alive they really were
And how precious that our time is
That contagious spirit, so uniquely hers
The distinctive laugh, that could only be his

A note, a post card, a poem

Feelings that are, and/or used to be
A letter filled with distant love
Words, meant only for me
Wee hour messages that I have written
Hastefully penned, but never sent
A shoebox, filled with emotions
Papers lined with what we meant

Flipping through the pages and photos
Snapshots of my life until now
People and places, that shaped who I am
Images of who, of where, when and how
Framed pictures of significant moments
Rectangular reminders of family and friends
Travels together on this wondrous journey
An evolving road, that curves and bends

It’s a beautiful kind of limbo
Spent with people that I know
A transcendent state of mind
And I can choose where to go
The full gambit of my experiences
The love, the pain, the pleasure
Memories, that take me away and back

Moments, I will always treasure

Camping, Christmas, the dinner table
My whole family, together in one place
The truest essence of who I am today
So much influence, etched in each face
My Mom, my Dad, right there for me
Whenever when my heart yearns 

I am able to go home, again and again
With happy, and melancholy returns

Time-lapse capsules of my two daughters
Wide-eyed infants, in the back seat of the car
From half-day kindergarten to incredible teens
Ever-emerging lives, chronicled so far
First steps, dance recitals, and graduation
Lovingly preserved, in albums or on DVD
Even when they seem too far to reach
I can find them here, in front of me

Awards, team photos, newspaper clippings
Memories of play that are always fond
Reminders of an enduring love of sports
Teammates, championships, a life-long bond
Wondering what became of those I coached
Peewee signatures on a thank-you card
Events and people that helped me to grow
Character built, through practicing hard

These boxes that I’ve moved many times
To different homes, to cities and towns
Different cabinets containing my life
All of us sharing the ups and downs
I can open up whenever I want to
These memories, of importance to me
Their significance, personally priceless
Sentimental value, I can always see

It’s a beautiful kind of limbo
Sitting there, beside myself
A transcendent state of mind
Brought down from a shelf
My life, captured in moments
The past, seen through today’s eyes 
Images, taking me away and back
Suspended, for now, while time flies

 

Squashed

20150914_122855
Squashed

She had
no time

for us.
I had
no patience

to wait.
While she
found
the time

to keep 
the promises
she made.

Plans made
for us
months ahead.

One night
away

in a different bed.
To feed
a love
we left unfed.
To bandage wounds
that
slowly bled.

Convenient excuses

from her
instead.
Obvious signs
that hope
was dead.

One dinner
for us
and maybe one dance.

One night
for us
months in advance.
To try
to find
our lost romance.
To save
our family
from circumstance.

Squashed
by her
without a glance.
An obvious sign
that we had
no chance.

No time.
No patience.

No hope. 
 Unwilling
to even try.

No time.
No patience.
No chance.

We both know
the reasons
why.

Rebuild

Rebuild

Invested
for the long run.
Underwhelmed
by what your love earns.
Taxed daily
by the emotional costs
 and the reality
of diminishing returns.

20150925_125814[1]
There has to be

more than this?
Can what is lost
again be found?
Can you go around
more than once?
Is there only so much
to go around?

You worry,
do I need too much?
as you hover
above your ego.
You look hard
at who you are,
and you wonder
where did ‘we’ go?

Another failure
is unacceptable.
What the heart lacks,
 the heart yearns.
Your input
influences your output.
The law of
diminishing returns.


You decide to search

within yourself.
Seeking out
your inner strength.
You find that
your heart is capable.
It can be stretched
another length.

Your original design
was excellent.
The plans you made
were sound.
The raw materials
of love and respect,
implore you
to stick around.

You decide that
you should start again
The flame is relit
 and your heart churns.
Lessons learned,
you invest together,
working to sustain
the initial returns.
20150925_154255[1]

Diminished

Diminished

Choices you make
are directly proportional
to the lessons
that you learn.
Experience will tell you
that change is necessary
when the investment
exceeds the return.

20150925_125814[1]
The newness

of what you have.
A solid foundation.
Love and mutual respect.
Living under one roof.
Rich with time together.
Better than you hoped for.
More than you expect.

Weeks, inevitably
become years.
Variable inputs
become a distraction.
You notice the flame
is slowly fading.
You light the match,
 see little reaction.

The daily grind
becomes unacceptable.
What your heart lacks,
your heart yearns.
The input
exceeds the output.
The law of
diminishing returns.


You feel the emptiness

of the disconnect.
A well of time
not spent.
Lost hours
consumed, alone.
Wondering
where the time went.

Wanting more,
but getting far less.
Supply
versus demand.
The slippery slope
of complacency.
You mention it,
they don’t understand.

You only have
to see it once.
A beleaguered fire,
flickering as it burns.
Flamed, mostly,
by all that one gives.
Eventually burnt out,
by diminished returns.
20150925_154045[1]

 

Turn

20150808_091521[1]
TURN

I stop where the highway ends
Pausing at the bottom of the hill
At the intersection of here and now
where time seems to stand still
Just enough time for me to smile
Time enough to look both ways
The right time at the right place
A right turn to the best of days

A right and then a quick left
To where my awakened mind sees
Down one last secluded road
under a canopy of trees
A canopy of yellow, white and green
Scattered sunlight streaking through
A canopy that guides me along
To the home that I made with you

A home full of ease and inspiration
Where my contented heart will stay
That rejuvenates my weary soul
at the end of another long day
At the end of the gravel lane
On the west end of the lake
One last left up the driveway
Is the best turn that I make

A definite turn for the better
At the end of our long year
The best turn for our life together
is the turn that led us here
To the edge of nature’s bounty
With a love for life as our connection
The right time, and the right place
A turn in the right direction

Ours

Ours
I sit at the end of the dock

Alone, on the edge of a new day
I scan our horizon, and smile
Content,
about thinking this way
It just feels like it belongs to us
That it’s all ours, and therefor mine
That we have our own entire lake
 And our own sprawling shore line
20150728_182347[1]
There is a definite sense of self
A fulfillment, based on our decision
Circumstances, that brought us to now
How I got to this position
As I breathe in our fresh air
and feel our cool morning breeze
My heart embraces the moment
My mind notes all that it sees

20150728_181049[1]

I see our fence and our fire wood
I see the garden we need to weed
I see our house that we are renovating
into the home that we need
I look up to see our deck
I see just how it’s positioned
I can picture our awesome view
Even more than we envisioned
I see our tall, imposing hemlock
Our kayaks that lie in its shade
See the route we’ve taken to our place
I see all the choices we’ve made

20150728_160133[1]

I see the end result to our patience
I see the fruits of this past year
I see the promise in our future
I see exactly how we got here
I see all of our perseverance
I see the challenges that we’ve met
I see how we’ve faced them all together
and I am as content as I can get

Content with this life for our family
Content with how this all came to be
Content with this time that is ours
Content, and smiling, at all that I see

20150728_160249[1]

BOUND

IMG_0241[1]

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

BOUND

Unbreakable love…
An emotional commitment
that knows no bounds
Far more than just the words
An unbreakable love
f
eels even better than it sounds

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

 

This love…
Brings impressions to the surface
Puts perspective in its place
An exchange of due respect
 It’s a level of understanding
 That works best face to face

This love…
Embraces all that is right
Can endure what may go wrong
Joined as one in our resolve
We are bonded by integrity
And together we are strong

Unbreakable love…
An emotional commitment
that knows no bounds
Unbreakable love
It feels even better

than it sounds

IMG_0234[1]

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

This love…
Needs to be nourished
Requires both give and take
Fueled by new beginnings
By the hopes that we have
With the memories that we make

This love…
Leads us on our journey
Adds excitement to every day
To the realities of here and now
The possibilities of tomorrow
And to our hopes along the way


This love that we share…

Is reinforced by our children
Strengthened by family and friends
It enhances our life experience
  It is the heart of who we are
And is the means to our ends

IMG_0221[1]

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

An unbreakable love…
An emotional commitment
that knows no bounds
More than just the words
Our unbreakable love
i
s even better than it sounds

Elementary

             ElementaryIMG_20150625_114513[1]

It is no longer elementary,
as time moves on…

From that age of innocence
and its carefree pace
To a greater challenge 
and a larger place
Taking along with it
the simplicity of that age
Anticipation, for the next act
on a ever-growing stage

No longer rudimentary,
as time moves on…IMG_20150625_114610[1]

To the high school years
and all that entails
Forming new friendships
and blazing new trails
Learning how to balance
an education, and the new
An ever-evolving perspective
and an ever-changing you

You’ll find it’s complementary,
as time moves on…

Years that work together
each with a vital role
Then and now, and next
are elements of the wholeIMG_20150625_115003[1]
Experiences and memories
are the parts to your sum
They make you who you are
and who you will become

…as time moves on

Awakening

Awakening
IMG_20150506_210512[1]
Perpetually incapable
of sleeping in
Yet entirely content
for the day to begin
My muse and I
Both wide awake
With tea, with coffee
With the sound of the lake

Off to her work
Me, to my pen
Equal parts solitude
and together again
Alone with my thoughts
Joined by my ease
A limitless view
The sound of the breeze

Between work and living
The grind or the gain
Managing my potential
Lessening my pain
Relief from the scalpel
A new home on the bay
Endless possibilities
A brand new day

 IMG_20150506_203937[1]

Impending deadlines
Urgency that can wait
Time, of the essence
Tomorrow, too late
Adrenalin fed future
My opportunity knocks
Like a rush of creativity
Like the waves on the rocks

Changes are in order
Where and how I live
Untapped opportunity
All that I can give
Expecting my best
 Wanting even more
Reaching for happiness
 The waves to the shore

Between work and living
Less pressure, less pain
More of these moments
 Everything to gain
Endless possibilities
I am wide awake
A much better man
A new life on the lake
IMG_20150506_204223[1]
 

Bus

                     Bus                         

I see the bus coming up the street
I am energized as I leave my seat
Feeling that extra bounce in my feet
My heart embracing the added beat.

IMG_20150303_153718[1]

It’s your contagious, expressive energy
An always positive vibe that enlivens me
Your ever-present smile, your joie de vivre
The impressive person you have come to be

Always offering and anxious to help out
Willing to try, even when there is doubt
Confident and capable is what you shout
You already understand what living is about

When your school day is finally done
The best part of mine has just begun
Shining bright in the late-afternoon sun
My first-born daughter, you are second to none.

IMG_20150301_185453[1]

– 

Changes have come, as we knew they would
Less time together than we know we should
In different places from where we stood
Life gets in the way, like we thought it could
It may be different,  but we are good

Another twist in a road that often bends
Between work and circumstance and friends
We are seldom together when the day ends
Yet with just one call, my heart mends
Buoyed by your voice and the assurance it sends

Patience and understanding, as we have discussed
We will always find time, in that we trust
Making the most of it is our infinite plus
The same father-daughter bond connecting us…
I just miss being there, when you get off of the bus.

IMG_20150301_191535[1]

%d bloggers like this: