Minding




Minding
We walked, holding hands,
where we had walked
many times before.
Darn. We missed the sunset
she said.
Just a little too late, I replied.
But, that’s okay,
I thought,
as we looked out from the shore.
We are gonna see so many more

And I sighed.
Outwardly? Maybe? Likely
Definitely inside
What a wonderful revelation
My mind couldn’t seem to hide.

It’s cooled right off out,
without the sun
.”

A little brrr,” I said,
as we continued on.
Yup. That time of year,”
she replied.
I’m already looking forward
to getting into bed

Said the voice inside my hea
d.


There were lots of people walking.
She said hello
to one of her students
from a class last year.
So, said my wandering mind,
I have to keep my thoughts here

We kept walking and talking,
our quickened steps crunching
on leaves and wood.
It’s going to be even chillier
when we’re camping
.”
It sure is, I agreed,
as I already sat by the fire.
The warmth of the campfire
feels so good
I could feel itI really could


Then, we are both lying in our tent,
together, between sleeping bags

As I continue in my mind.
It was a crisp visualization
that it could easily find.

It was such a peaceful night,
she suggested a longer walk.
It’s only a kilometer or so more.”
My libido hesitated.
Well...
But my contentment answered.
Sure. A little longer would be nice.
The back of my thoughts,
the same as before.

Already through the bedroom door


I squeezed her hand. Just because.
She squeezed mine.

We continued at our steady pace.
We should be home in half an hour

Again, the smile on my face.

We completed our walk,
only releasing our grip
as we got to the car
.
As usual, a very pleasant stroll,
despite the chill.”
I looked her way.
It really was.” She smiled.
My mind struggling to stay where we are

Very glad that our drive is not too far

Looking forward to a warm blanket
she said, as I started the car.
Yes,” I said. So am I.”
In fact, I was already under there
Feet touching … Hand on your thigh


We held the opposite hands
as we drove home.
The night’s walk complete.
The vehicle, silent for a while.
She, lost in her thoughts,
and me, transfixed
on mine.
In the bed … Under the blanket
Her, sitting quiet in her seat
My hand … Her thigh … And feet on feet

It was hard to concentrate on the road.
My mind, negotiating those other curves,
while I managed stay in my own lane.

Perhaps I do think those thoughts too much?
But, really, what could be more sane?

(It’s no wonder I spend so much time,
Happily lost, inside my brain
)


Anything we need to stop for?”
I asked her,
as we got nearer to her hood
.

She glanced my way,
I have everything I need.
Let’s just hurry home.

She had just read my mind.
And we both completely understood
.
Yes indeed Our life is good.”

Butterfly?

Butterfly?

Epihany

The same stubborn scenario
The same view every night
A silhouette, close to the edge
A moth under the light
The echo of my thoughts
On infinite repeat
A schizophrenic mind field
Of two and a half feet

Turned one hundred and eighty
In a blanketed cocoon
A butterfly to a moth
Under the light of the moon
A stark and palpable silence
An insurmountable rut
Urges, kept at arm’s length
Until my eyes flutter shut

Take me back to my muse
Release me from this storm
From the cold of my creation
The bitter back to the warm
From this tempest in a teapot
 These chilling winds of blame
 The frigid reality each night
The moth back to the flame

An exasperating tug of war
Across a span of diminished hope
There has to be some solace
Near the end of my rope
Nothing that I can do or say
Changes, impervious to gain
The collateral damage is done
A consequence to the pain

So many months, eaten away
The thin fabric of a ruse
Resentful of my own creation
 A moth disguised as a muse
Rose-coloured tunnel vision?
Wishful thinking all along?

For the sanity of lost time
It would help if I was wrong

Take me back to my muse
Release me from this regret
From the pall of uncertainty
That hangs over me yet
From the now back to the then
The difference of day to night
To open arms and an open mind
To a butterfly, in a better light