Meeting

                                  Meeting 


I arrive with wine, and little apprehension

Entering your home, my worries are very few
Confident that you are kind, that you are genuine
because your wonderful daughter is a part of you


As I look around, a comfort settles over me
Instantly, I am at ease, and even more sure
We say our hellos and she squeezes my hand

Moments later she takes me on a tour

I see warm colours, and family photos
lovingly displayed, up and down the hall
Your own creations, and your creativity,
gracing each room, and on every wall

Crafty signs, stitch work, and oil paintings
Your personal touches, so easily found
Children and teens, newlyweds and grandkids,
all of your loved ones, leaning or hanging around

Tangibly vibrant, with a flick of each switch
The now and the then, brought to light
The young couple, handsome and pretty
Their beginning, framed, in black and white

We stroll through your memories, new and old,
The long journey of a husband and a wife
A visual journal, of his story and yours,
Room to room, so full of a life

As we join everyone in your living room
I look to you, straight across, sitting in a chair
Our glances meet, knowingly, for a moment
neither overly concerned, but both of us aware


Just as I had hoped, with this important step,
I was adding perspective to my happy reality
But it was also tweaking my ongoing interest
with peoples’ grasps on their own mortality


I find myself staring, as we are having dinner

catching myself, just before you do
I am lost, inside my natural curiosity,
wondering about your point of view

I imagine what you might be thinking
Another Easter dinner, like any other year?
Are you blissfully oblivious to who is new,
and simply thankful that everyone is here?

Are you thinking about who is missing,
a little sad, and reminiscent as you look around?
Or are you soaking in the whole atmosphere
Every familiar sight, every happy sound?

Your grandchildren, all talking excitedly
That perfect mix of exuberance and loud
The smiles of three uniquely beautiful daughters
Your constant smile, telling me you are proud

Your living legacy, right here before you
Those most important, just being themselves
A vital portrait of your loving family
brought down from off the shelves

Your smile subsides only when you speak
Voice cracking, behind the few words you say
You seem quietly content, at the head of the table
as I gradually get to know you, on this April day


Everyone slowly heads towards the door,
saying thank-you and exchanging good-byes
I see your expression change, ever so slightly,
a
s a twinge of melancholy forms in your eyes

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Confined

“People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it.”
– Jim Morrison20150930_213223[1]

 Confined

He goes to bed each night
alone with the ache
 His internal conflict
keeping them both awake
Wakes up weary every morning
lying beside his vanity
With a smile for his children
and a check mark for his sanity

Physical versus mental
in a battle of his pain
Sensory and substantial
is the signal from his brain
From necessity and habit
you conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
with wounds that won’t heal

Scar tissue and time
The confines of the mind
Self-motivation
Self-preservation
Selfishly suppressing the pain
Scar tissue and time
A safe place to hide
He
fights the pain

His wounds remain
Sustaining himself from inside

An actor playing himself
in the true story of he
Absorbed in the role of everyman
and that’s who he has to be

Scripted by circumstance
he has lines on every page
Penned for his own purposes
he is resplendent on his stage

 
A song written in his head
but needed by his heart

Lyrics intended for healing
they’re upbeat from the start
Motivation for mind and body
 Affected, but indeed sincere
He gives a selfless performance
for everyone to hear

Scar tissue and time
The complexities of the mind
Self-medication
Self-preservation
Selfishly deflecting the pain
Scar tissue and time
Enduring another day
Different roots of pain

No Ledger or Cobain
Determined to go another way

Scar tissue and time
You conceal what you feel
It’s mind against matter
When wounds never heal

Scar tissue and time
In the confines of your mind
You ascend another day
Starting from behind

 

BOUND

IMG_0241[1]

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

BOUND

Unbreakable love…
An emotional commitment
that knows no bounds
Far more than just the words
An unbreakable love
f
eels even better than it sounds

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

 

This love…
Brings impressions to the surface
Puts perspective in its place
An exchange of due respect
 It’s a level of understanding
 That works best face to face

This love…
Embraces all that is right
Can endure what may go wrong
Joined as one in our resolve
We are bonded by integrity
And together we are strong

Unbreakable love…
An emotional commitment
that knows no bounds
Unbreakable love
It feels even better

than it sounds

IMG_0234[1]

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

This love…
Needs to be nourished
Requires both give and take
Fueled by new beginnings
By the hopes that we have
With the memories that we make

This love…
Leads us on our journey
Adds excitement to every day
To the realities of here and now
The possibilities of tomorrow
And to our hopes along the way


This love that we share…

Is reinforced by our children
Strengthened by family and friends
It enhances our life experience
  It is the heart of who we are
And is the means to our ends

IMG_0221[1]

Photo courtesy of Lana Nolan

An unbreakable love…
An emotional commitment
that knows no bounds
More than just the words
Our unbreakable love
i
s even better than it sounds

Jump

                Jump

I clearly remember 
like it was yesterday.
You said “jump”
as plain as could be.
I stared down
as you looked up.
My one-plus year old
smiling at me.

With cautious hands
beneath your arms.
I lifted my little girl
from her little bed.
I laughed aloud
at my surprise.
“Of course you can”
was all I said.

Walking on air
to the end of the hall.
Down the stairs
to your favorite place.
Different this time
with that single word.
And the anxious look
on your one-plus face.

You seemed more eager
as I put you in.
The harness secure
under your tiny frame.
You immediately began
as I let you go.
I immediately knew
it would never be the same.

“Jump, jump, JUMP!”
as plain as could be.
Three more times
as you bounced and sat.
With no hesitation
and the proudest grin.
“Jump, jump, JUMP!”
just like that.

Astounded, I watched
and intently I listened.
My bouncing baby girl
and her happy word.
Up and down
and over and over.
The sweetest sound
that I had ever heard.

There may have been
a “mama” or a “dada”.
But nothing as perfect 
or with less doubt.
Other infant things
that infants say.
There must have been
but I’ve blocked them out.

I soaked it all in
and beamed with pride.
“She’s smart already
and athletic too!”
It occurred to me
on that glorious day.
And it’s the same now
when I think of you.

A vivid memory
about my first-born.
I tell it often
and I’m never bored.
This proud father,
who could show you now…
If he’d grabbed his camera
and pressed ‘record’.

Steps

Stairs                    Steps

Certain steps along the way…

When we are young and so impressionable

When our ways are changing every day

When love and support are our best influences…

Certain steps along the way.

When we grow and learn and live

When we are taught how to act and what to say

When our family guides us through right and wrong…

Certain steps along the way.

When we leave to start out on our own

When we have more responsibility with every day

When all we have learned shapes who we are…

Certain steps along the way.

When we choose our life-long love

When our lives are open to come what may

When we think about all there is to experience…

Certain steps along the way.

When we have a family of our own

When it is time to show someone else the way

When the steps in life seem far too steep…

We will know the steps that we should take…

When we encounter all of this world’s ups and downs…

Those certain steps will show the way.

Home

    mailbox
 
 
 
 
I have found over the last couple of years that I have a certain ritual that I perform whenever I am doubting my place in this world.
     I actually go outside and stand on the street and look back at my house, my car, my life and I pause and realize just how fortunate that I am.
     Then I walk around it all and stop to take a good look out back.
       Deck needs work… trees need trimming… house needs paint… and I need fulfillment.  I sit or stand on my deck and bask in the exhilaration of uncertainty.
        Then I go inside and look at some of the pictures on the wall… listen to some familiar music… soak in some of the memories… and suddenly I have refound my fortune… and my home. 
          I usually think about staying inside more… working on my deck gradually… using the front door a lot… and then my two daughters walk through that same door and I am fulfilled until the next time.
 
 
 
door
 
 
 

Vanquish

Cerebral images pervade your night
Eye locked visions in mind’s eye sight
Blank pages with much to write
A tapestry of perception in black and white.

Wish it all away…
No candle or magic star.
Just you, and yourself
And experiences of so far.

Wish it all away…
Wipe the slate clean.
Put hope into words
And say what you mean.

Task at hand                   Sample portions               Fifteen minutes
Everyday life                  Food for thought              National stage
Real emotions                What to consume             Bad timing
Sharp as a knife              And what to not               Turn the page

Harsh words                  She the suitor                   Student athlete
Six year grudge             He the sought                   Next step school
Lost time friend             Too blind to see                Many distractions
Be the judge                   Lost a lot                           Played the fool

Jaded gentleman                          Convenient comfort
Could not care                               Tried to feel
Put up walls                                   Broke her heart
Stayed right there                          It was not real

Wish it all away…
Give wings to all is well.
Lift up with mighty means
And fly out of your shell.

Wish it all away…
Let dreams take flight.
Grasp for what you want
And hold on with all your might.

In this moment                Reach for more              Share the wealth
Years remain                    Easier it seems               Enrich together
Cherish the now               Realistic goals                Find the sun
Vanquish the vain            In lofty dreams              In every weather

Healthy core                     Beautiful girls                    Places to see
Keep it fit                           Reflective light                  Worlds to share
Staying young                   Keep you strong                Minds like clay
Grind and grit                   Reasons to fight                Shape them there

Hidden love                    Rhythmic existence             Final scene
Ready to find                  Music of the heart               One act play
Seek and enjoy               Drum pound beat                Be the hero
Body and mind               The guitar part                    Save the day

Project an image                         Open to anything
Set the stage                                Brand new lease
Build a legacy                             Broken no more
Enliven the page                         Found my peace

Cerebral images shine some light
Life time lessons in mind’s eye sight
Blank pages with much more to write
A tapestry of perception in black and white.

Wish it all away…
My place is right here.
Stay true to myself
And be crystal clear.

Wish it all away…
The past is in the past.
The future really is now
And we are here at last.

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