Myself





Myself
I was indifferent, wandering,
when we first met
Raw, lost, and purposely alone
Barely wanting, knowing,

if I even cared to look
Wondering, daily,

if I even wanted to try.


It seems so long ago,
so far from where I find myself
Where I found my self
To the here, to the now
To where I am vital, content
Certain, today,

that you’re the reasons why.

I find myself, reflective, here.
Found my self, reflected, there.

I followed our love to get to today

On a path, lined,
with many fresh new memories
To this hopeful here,

and to our happy now
Eventual time, guided,

by the bluest of shared skies.


Projecting only forward,
to tonights, and to tomorrows
To the vast unknown,

secure, in what is known,
In what is shown
At peace, in this life, with this love,

as our time slowly flies.

I have opened up, again,

by looking in the right place

Seeing, and noticing
Discovering and rediscovering
Spending time, there,
A focused man, here

Feeling healthy, and happy, and wise.

Found my self, reflected, there.
I find myself, reflective, here.

A special night, now,
is any night,
and most every night
As I get to spend them

in my favourite place
And where I get lost, now,
is where I was found.


It is here, with you
and your lovely face
In the perfect place

There, inside your eyes
Secure, within this love
I am safe, and I am sound
There and here... on solid ground.

I am myself. Here.

Together

Together

Another great night
Together

Love and understanding
Two hearts meeting

Our familiar refrain
Together
Love and understanding
Well worth repeating


I arrive at your house

A few petty annoyances
weighing on my mind
You are there for me
with a smile and a kiss
The door closes behind

I feel immediately better
The cold left outside
The tension gone
The night ahead of us
With you in my arms
With the music on

Forgotten, in an instant
Moving all that’s good
ahead of the bad
Love and understanding
Takes me far away
from the day that I had


Your numerous worries

Drastic life changes
swirling all around
I am right here
with a shoulder and an ear
Until answers are found

Talk and common sense
The simple solution
Splitting perspective in half
The right words to say
Our candid exchange
Making each other laugh

Forgotten, for tonight
A switch of topic
A shift of gear
Love and understanding
Remembering the reason
that we are both here

This quality time
Together

Great conversation
Music and laughter

Love and understanding
Together
We are the difference
between before and after

More

More

You opened my eyes
when you opened your door.
I saw so much in an instant…
And then, I saw so much more.

I had this innate, satisfying sense
that you were excited that I was there.
That you had anxiously anticipated my arrival
with thoughtful touches, and extra care.

Shiny, soft, silky, sexy straight hair.
Bare shoulders, tempting my gaze.
Subtle accents to your natural beauty.
Eyes that danced, and constantly amaze.

I could see your love, in their clear honesty.
In the moment that they looked into mine.
I could taste it, on your moistened lips,
as we drank to us and sipped our wine.

Our playful innuendo, hand fitting hand.
Walking and talking, doing what we do.
Sharing an appetizer and the same wavelength.
The simple pleasures, when it’s me with you.

Yet, there was more, inside your beautiful smile.
In each expressive nuance of your lovely face.
More of something, that was strongly tangible.
I could feel it, with certainty, in every embrace.

We seemed to hold on just a little longer, and stronger.
And there was this extra warmth in your soft touch.
It seemed as though you were exuding happiness.
A pleasure in knowing that we have found so much.

The realization, that you are allowed to be happy.
That you can be yourself, and be entitled to more.
I recognized the difference, like the flip of a switch.
Aglow, in a radiant light, when you opened your door.

I already realized how much that I loved you,
and I knew of so many reasons why.
It was obvious that we were terrific together.
And I knew for sure that I was a lucky guy.

But what struck me most, on this night,
was seeing just how content that you were.
I sincerely had hoped you were as happy as I.
It felt wonderful to know it for sure.

You have opened my eyes
to how much that you appreciate me.
I see so much, through you…
And I love all that I can see.

20180101_150322[1]

Triathlon

20180819_085341

 Triathlon
I am not completely sure
if I am entitled to be,
or, really, if I’m even allowed
But, I am thoroughly impressed by you
And, dare I say,
I am extremely proud…

I watched you, in your controlled haste,
steadying, readying, and taking your place at the start
And then I noticed the cool and calm ease
with which you settled into the race
Then, somehow, you found the presence of mind
to look up, to find me, and even to wave
Before swimming, strong and steadily away,
from the huge smile you left on my face

20180819_091535

It seems that I’d completely underestimated
the strength and power of your stroke

as I arrived, too late to support you,
through your swim to bike transition
My own personal pride thoroughly jolted
by the sick emptiness in my stomach

My eagerness to video, thwarted,
by your speed, and your top five position

Yet, my whole heart went out there with you
as you spun your way through the winding course
I went up the hills with you, and then down,
my mind, racing along, despite what I couldn’t see
It was impossible for me to relax, or even to sit,
with all of the unknown, and all the anticipation
So I paced, anxiously, awaiting your arrival
as you pedaled your way back to me

20180819_094238

A contented relief flushed over me
as you braked, and then you touched ground
As you pushed your bicycle to your chosen spot,
I felt as much like your fan, as I was your friend
Despite my pent up angst, and energetic love,
I knew I had a very small window to speak
Time enough to cheer you, and to reassure you,
and to tell you, that I’d find you near the end

As you switched your shoes, and turned to go
I noticed the game-face return to your glance
I’ve seen that will and determination before
It’s who you are, and in much that you do
As you ran out of sight, on your last leg,
I yelled more encouragement, in due haste
Wishing that my words could push you along
Hoping my spirit would run with you

As you emerged from the tunnel, weary legged,
nearing the last of your well of endurance,
your eyes seemed focused, intently on the task
Looking for anything that you had left inside
While you bravely ascended the final climb,
you amazingly found one final burst,
crossing the finish, alone with your fatigue
Soon to be joined by my burgeoning pride

20180902_102600

I stayed back, for a minute or two, purposely,
to simply observe, and to give you some space
And as I watched you, catching up to your breath,
I saw right then, what separates you from the crowd
It’s your personal investment, in all that you attempt
In my eyes, you’re resplendent, with all that you are
And in that moment, as you looked especially beautiful,
I could not have been more impressed or proud

Mine

MINE
I was inching away from everything
that I had tried so hard to preserve
Taking the smallest of careful steps,
as I negotiated the next curve
Having spent far too much energy
accepting less than I deserve
Gradually reaching the realization
that I have more than enough nerve
20180604_092737.jpg
So, I am making changes

For me
Found someone who sees the very best
in me
Nearer to the fun and confident essence
of who I used to be
Experiencing life, one day at a time
For me

I had the best of all of the intentions

but my will seldom found the way
I just needed some selfish motivation,
and to heed the words I would say
When it’s broken, you must fix it,
rather than put it off, for yet another day
And that meant doing it myself,
believing, this is the price I’ll pay

20150801_131006[1]
So, I am making changes

For me
Bought a nice new, reliable vehicle
just for me
I am getting ever closer
to the way things should be
Closer to the life that I choose
For me

The constant of the truly good people

who are always always there
Family, colleagues, closest friends,
listening, simply because they care
Honesty, in the face of my best interest,
with only good intentions to share
Helping to get me to a better place
and then joining me, no matter where

apartment architecture contemporary design

I am making these changes
For me
A newish job, and a great new house
For me
I am now looking only forward,
to the place I want to be
Where life and love and happiness meet
With me

Sensational

Sensational
There is no secret formula
to what works for me with you
We simply go wherever
the sensations take us to…

Every time we get together, it seems,
we add something new to the mix
It’s our possibilities addiction,
and we can’t wait for another fix 
A constant stream of unique sensations
Spontaneous abandon, going with the flow
A near to the edge of anticipation
The craving for you just never know

It’s the understatement of the embrace
when one of us walks in the door
The understood, unspoken expectation
that we are in for so much more
The adrenalin of our any given moment
The rush of the next uncovered feeling
A song, a word, a look, a touch
Real sensations, that often leave us reeling

We found one another
when the time for us was right
A man and woman, with love,
and the sensations of each night…

Every time we are apart, it seems,
we look forward with an impatient haste
Driven by our insatiable appetites,
and the selfish need for another taste
More than just passion wets our appetite
We find satisfaction in our conversations
It’s the opportunity that fuels our desires
Time together, that feeds the sensations

We have been spoiled by availability,
but we share the same perspective
Better to indulge in creating memories
than to feel empty or sadly reflective
We can fill up on todays and tomorrows
On shared experiences, and the little things
Be stimulated by all that we have now
And by every sensation the future brings

It’s the end of another work day
and we have no idea what’s in store
We do know that it will be sensational
Who could ask for more.

20180427_105009

 

Meeting

                                  Meeting 


I arrive with wine, and little apprehension

Entering your home, my worries are very few
Confident that you are kind, that you are genuine
because your wonderful daughter is a part of you


As I look around, a comfort settles over me
Instantly, I am at ease, and even more sure
We say our hellos and she squeezes my hand

Moments later she takes me on a tour

I see warm colours, and family photos
lovingly displayed, up and down the hall
Your own creations, and your creativity,
gracing each room, and on every wall

Crafty signs, stitch work, and oil paintings
Your personal touches, so easily found
Children and teens, newlyweds and grandkids,
all of your loved ones, leaning or hanging around

Tangibly vibrant, with a flick of each switch
The now and the then, brought to light
The young couple, handsome and pretty
Their beginning, framed, in black and white

We stroll through your memories, new and old,
The long journey of a husband and a wife
A visual journal, of his story and yours,
Room to room, so full of a life

As we join everyone in your living room
I look to you, straight across, sitting in a chair
Our glances meet, knowingly, for a moment
neither overly concerned, but both of us aware


Just as I had hoped, with this important step,
I was adding perspective to my happy reality
But it was also tweaking my ongoing interest
with peoples’ grasps on their own mortality


I find myself staring, as we are having dinner

catching myself, just before you do
I am lost, inside my natural curiosity,
wondering about your point of view

I imagine what you might be thinking
Another Easter dinner, like any other year?
Are you blissfully oblivious to who is new,
and simply thankful that everyone is here?

Are you thinking about who is missing,
a little sad, and reminiscent as you look around?
Or are you soaking in the whole atmosphere
Every familiar sight, every happy sound?

Your grandchildren, all talking excitedly
That perfect mix of exuberance and loud
The smiles of three uniquely beautiful daughters
Your constant smile, telling me you are proud

Your living legacy, right here before you
Those most important, just being themselves
A vital portrait of your loving family
brought down from off the shelves

Your smile subsides only when you speak
Voice cracking, behind the few words you say
You seem quietly content, at the head of the table
as I gradually get to know you, on this April day


Everyone slowly heads towards the door,
saying thank-you and exchanging good-byes
I see your expression change, ever so slightly,
a
s a twinge of melancholy forms in your eyes

Limitation

The unique thing
about regret
is that
the less you experience
the more you get        – G.G.

                                   Pic3 for Alive
Limitation

I’m taking a bit of a risk,
but what if I didn’t…

I’d rather live in the moment
than live with regret
Take a chance on what I want
and grab all I can get
No stop signs
No hesitation 
No blurred lines
No limitation
I intend to make the most
of this one-time life
Bring the best of it all
into plain sight
Exhausting each day
Exhausted each night

My motivation can be seen
in unique places
In hopeful eyes
On mourning faces
Times of celebration
Times of dread
Times to remember
Time, to look ahead

IMG_20141215_173356[1]

I’d rather look to the future
than look back with regret
Embrace all of those who inspire
and give back as I get
No retreat
No reservation
No boundaries
No limitation
I intend to stretch my mind
to greater lengths
Flights of fancy
and fanciful flights
Lifting the best of me
to loftier heights

My motivation can be found
in unique places
In beautiful smiles
On candle lit faces
People we meet
People we admire
People we love
People who inspire

pexels-photo-321444.jpeg

I’d rather embrace the possibilities
than accept the regret
Put myself completely out there
Give more than I get
No misunderstanding
No misinterpretation
No incompletes
No limitation
I intend to hold nothing back
in my quest to grow

Express my self
to all who should know
Take the best of me along
to wherever I go

Live this life for every moment
Experience more, every chance I get
Taking risks, and taking strides
Staying ahead of my regret

Nexus

Nexus
Midnight says good bye

to 2017
Celebrating with friends
while you are away

This new year brings me 
to a new day
I have found you
and I couldn’t be happier
At the end of the year
that brought you my way 

Alone at 3:00 AM 
but far from lonely
Accompanied by fresh memories 
that fill my head
Wishing you were here
as I go to bed
I have you on my mind
and in my heart
At the nexus to the year
that lies ahead

A year removed
from my misery
Twelve months further 
from all I could take
So much to look forward to
when I awake
I have you in my life
and I can’t get enough

What a difference
a new year can make

 

Silence

20160519_173129
Silence

 I hear the furnace kick in, on this cool morning.
An awakening nudge, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

It is then that I notice,
gradually notice more
The nuances of early morning
Just outside my door
The stillness of the lake
The shadows near the shore
A family of four ducks
And behind them two more
A peaceful place to begin my day
Alone, with some time to explore

A window to an opened mind.
A unique view, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

The façade of my introspection
Protective, but paper thin
Accessible, in the early morning
Without the voices or the din
An undisturbed opportunity
To summon, from within
The chance to visit places
Where I have seldom been
Insights, subtly perceptible
Like the drop of a pin

The sound of my ideas resonates,
clearly audible to me, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

Discernable refrains of thought
Echoing inside my peaceful shell
The intricacies of perception
From the depths of my well
The complexities of emotion
The conflicts that I must quell
Lost, and found, in the early morning
Immersed in what to tell
A place to elevate my opinions
Up from where they fell

I find my positive inspiration,
emerging, from within the silence…
my creative silence.

The early morning moves me
As the words start to flow
Drifting through the shadows
Like the ducks, in a row
Lines of innate substance
Gaining momentum as they go
Buoyant, lucid, more certain
Shedding inhibitions as they grow
Brought into the morning light
From this tranquil place I know

The quiet of the morning finds me here.
Where I can hear myself think…
within my creative silence.